The Day I Ruined My Pajamas Forever

​Jordan: Little bit bigger. These eyes are blind. I really, I do really have bad vision. Oh my god, it's terrible vision. But did you know, alongside my terrible vision, that this podcast has content that may be distressing to some viewers? Not viewers, listeners, and viewers. Be sure to check the description below for content warnings.

And now a poem, 

Lauran: in the style of Sylvia Plath, 

Jordan: with a raspy voice. 

Lauran: Listen, these words are thin glass, held to the light, waiting to break. They may press against your ribs, slip beneath your skin, whisper like cold wind through the locked door of your mind. If they cut too deep, if the air grows too sharp, let them go.

Step back, not every wound must be reopened. Not every shadow needs a name. You have to tell me, to promise, that you're not gonna judge me. You're not gonna look at me differently after this story. Because, it does not, it does not 

help me. Okay? It doesn't make me look like a smart human.

Jordan: You're we are more Hey, who, who's there? Who is that? Who is it? Oh, Lauren, you sound completely different. I do. Why do you sound like. Is it Tara Reade from the actress from like the 90s with the really raspy voice? 

Lauran: Tara Reade? Yeah. I don't know. Why did I think you were referring to, like, is it Tara Strong, the one that plays like Raven from Teen Titans?

No, 

Jordan: there's Tara Strong and then there's Tara Reade. Oh, oh, there's a cough. 

Lauran: That's why. 

Jordan: Oh, we're back. That's 

Lauran: why I sound like that. I'm sick. 

Jordan: How, how's the, how's the cold going? It's 

Lauran: not going. It's not going. It's not going. I, I got a cold. And. I got like the wheezy deep breaths and the coffee coughs and the snotty nose.

It's not a fun time. The snotty snots. But we'll be fine. 

Jordan: Blowing nose. I swear there was an elephant in our bedroom earlier. But I guess that might have just been you blowing your nose. It was, it 

Lauran: was most likely me. Jordan won't ever admit this, but he likes my sick voice. 

Jordan: Are you, are you? No, don't. I'm outing you.

Oh no! 

Lauran: You like it when I, like, you don't like when I'm sick, but you like my voice deeper like this when I'm sick. 

Jordan: I do not like when you are sick. That is correct. I am pleading the fifth on whether or not I enjoy your raspy voice. I'm pleading the fifth. There is no. That means. Nothing. Oh, that is not how that works.

That is how that works. That is not how that, that is specifically not how that works. 

Lauran: See, okay. I'm just pleading the fifth. I feel like here's the thing. 

Jordan: Okay. 

Lauran: Like, I agree that you should have the right to remain silent. Yeah. Okay. But, does it not also sound very suspicious when one pleads the fifth?

Ma'am. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Especially in a non consequential situation like this. 

Theme: Where the question 

Lauran: is, do you like my raspy, deep voice better? And you're, you plead the fifth, I'm like, yeah, okay, you do. Wow. 

Jordan: No, everyone's gonna, they're gonna come at me now. For what? I don't know. They're gonna be like, No, Jordan, you should like the normal 

Lauran: voice.

You're a silly goose. And I love that our producer in our notes, feel free to make the episode shorter since you're sick. Don't feel pressured to push it. 

Jordan: No, Rob, we're gonna push it. We're gonna push it real good. We're gonna make this episode the longest episode that we've ever recorded. 

Lauran: Listen, honestly, okay, so I called off work today because I did not, I literally slept in bed all day.

I could not get out of bed. And I have this lovely thing right now where if I cough too hard, I throw up. So it's like a combination of illnesses, which is top tier, if I could put it that way. I could just paint that picture for you. Um, it should be 

Jordan: a superpower. 

Lauran: It's not a superpower. I promise it should be.

I don't think it should be. Yeah. Or at least like, if I'm going to, like, if I'm going to get sick, like, let me like throw up something cool. That isn't painful and disgusting. Like, can I like vom cotton candy or something? Like it's, I just feel like there's, there's a better way. 

Jordan: Your obnoxious superpower would be the ability to throw up cotton candy.

Lauran: No. 

Jordan: No. 

Lauran: Listen, guys, I have a metaphobia, okay? So I, I have a fear of throwing up, and that includes any, like, hearing any kind of noises that sound remotely like throwing up. And for me, that also includes, like, when people, like, burp in front of me, or, like, belch in front, I can't, I can't hear it. It bothers me.

Theme: Yeah. 

Lauran: And let me tell you, when you don't feel good, your dogs can sense it. And most dogs would be like, you know what, my hooman's not feeling good, I should like, snuggle them. Which is what Duncan did all day. But, our other dog, Ted, is just a special little guy. Are you, are 

Jordan: you, are you denigrating my boy, Ted?

I 

Lauran: am not, I said he's a special little guy, I love him. I love both my dogs equally, I love Teddy and I love Duncan. But Ted be, Ted be barfin Like, 

Jordan: Be barfin Ted be barfin 

Lauran: I'm sorry, like, why? Have you ever met a dog that barfs as much as him? 

Jordan: I'm not gonna lie. Okay, Teddy, he's just a puker. I don't know what it is.

I don't know how Oh god, 

Lauran: oh wait. Okay, to, to be more listener friendly, instead of saying words, or just constantly referring to getting sick. Can we come up with a fun word for that? 

Jordan: Like what do you want to go with? 

Lauran: Like instead of like vomiting or puking, like we can call it like floofing or I don't know, something.

But like that way it doesn't, we don't have to say that all the time. I like that, I like that 

Jordan: idea, so. 

Lauran: He just floofs all the time. No, I don't like floof. I'm gonna be honest. I wanted to try it out and see how it felt. I'm gonna, I'm gonna be honest. 

Jordan: Floof feels more I was gonna say, like, shitting your pants, but, okay.

Oh, dang, I flooped from my pants. Flooped! Flooped! That's it. 

Theme: No! 

Jordan: Yes! Floop, flooped, is for pooping, and 

Lauran: Well, okay, to be fair, in our real household, we refer to Vomiting and puking as pooking. 

Jordan: Pooking. So 

Lauran: I was like, Ted, did you pook? Like, 

Jordan: cause it just 

Lauran: sounds cute and adorable and takes away some of the nasty factor, but it doesn't really.

There 

Jordan: is, there's a reason behind that too. 

Lauran: What is, what? 

Jordan: Pook. 

Lauran: Enlighten me. 

Jordan: Oh, it involves you. 

Lauran: Oh, it does? 

Jordan: Yeah. Oh. It's your story. 

Lauran: No. 

Jordan: Yes. 

Lauran: Oh no. Wait, wait, wait. Where are we going with this? Which story is this? Oh, no. 

Jordan: Oh, yeah. 

Lauran: Oh, no. Is this? Okay, wait. Are you talking about when I still lived at home? 

Jordan: Yes. We had just started dating.

Lauran: Oh, God. 

Jordan: So, 

Lauran: it's 

not a good one, guys. 

Jordan: The reason we call it pook. 

Lauran: It's not a good one, guys. 

Jordan: Is. 

Lauran: I'm so sorry. Hold on, wait. Before you tell this, 

come closer. You have to tell me to promise that you're not gonna judge me. You're not gonna look at me differently after this story. Because. It does not, 

it does not help me, okay?

It doesn't make me look like a smart human. 

Jordan: Before we get back to either deciding what we're gonna call throwing up in a fun term and then Teddy's side of the story, we must first discover why we call it pooking. Because when Lauren and I first started dating, We couldn't have been more together for more than maybe three or four months because it was in the 

Lauran: fall 

Jordan: and you were at the time a speech and debate coach for our local high school.

Well, I get a phone call at like six in the morning from you. 

Lauran: Wait, so before you say this, let me preface. So part of my job as the, as one of the speech coaches, I don't, I not only coached the children, but I also coordinated all of the judges. For our schools. So in speech and debate, at least in our state, like we have to bring so many judges to each tournament because, um, like depending on how many competitors you're bringing, you have to bring a ratio of judges and then, you know, the whole tournament is run off of volunteer judges.

So it's hard to get people to volunteer their entire day. Especially Saturday, 

Jordan: starting at seven in the morning. 

Lauran: Yeah, it's not easy to get volunteers for that. So if you've ever judged a speech tournament. I love you. Thank you for doing that. Thank you for your service. Um, 

Jordan: Thank you for your service. So, 

Lauran: so I, I was the judge coordinator and part of my job was making sure that all the judges get to the tournament and are there on time and ready to go.

Jordan was supposed to judge at this tournament. This is the first time you were ever judging, I think. 

Jordan: Yeah, you're right. So, I was judging. 

Lauran: Yeah, so. I wake up in the middle of the night, and I'm not feeling good, guys, like, I know right now, uh, in, in the year 2025, we're dealing with norovirus. A lot of people have been sick, like, crazy.

Jordan: Dropping like flies. 

Lauran: Yeah, it's, oh my gosh, it's been ravaging schools and communities. Ravaging 

Jordan: workplaces. Oh yeah. There was like a spree where like every other person was out of my offices. 

Lauran: I believe it. Uh, but, I don't know what I got that, that year. 

Jordan: You got super norovirus. But it was 

Lauran: like, it felt like norovirus, I feel like.

So, I, yeah, I was really sick. Um, so I, I called Jordan. 

Jordan: At six in the morning. Because when you're throwing up, I had to prepare you at, when we were living apart, I was also apparently up at the same time. 

Lauran: Well, and plus, I had to, because I was going to meet you there, but because I was not going to go to the tournament, I had to have Jordan come to my house and pick up the, like, all the paperwork and stuff that I usually bring with me to the tournaments.

So he had to stop at my house and get all this stuff to take to this tournament that he's never judged before. Yep. And basically take over my place for the day. 

Jordan: And if you know me, when number one, when things don't go according to plan, and number two, I'm being thrown into a room full of people I've never met before.

Let's just say, let's just say, I don't thrive in that situation. 

Lauran: But, he was a, he was a trooper. He like, he just, he didn't complain. And it may, or may not, have been, uh, because we were still in that honeymoon phase of our relationship, where like, he would do whatever I asked him to do, without question. So When I was like, hey, you're gonna go judge this tournament.

I'm not gonna be there. Good luck. He was like, okay, and like, just went along his merry way. So, I survived. You did. 

Jordan: And then, I call you on my way back. And you sound pretty much the same. 

Lauran: Did I answer the phone? I don't 

Jordan: remember. Yeah, you did. You called. We were, I was on the phone with you pretty much the whole drive back.

Were you? Yeah, because I drove to your house with you on the phone, and I got off the phone when we got there. 

Lauran: Okay. 

Jordan: You look like death. 

Lauran: Thanks. 

Jordan: Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. You look like death. You're like, oh Kill me. 

Lauran: I don't I don't particularly think Anyone doesn't look like death when they have super norovirus.

Jordan: Yeah My favorite part and why we call it puking is because we hadn't been dating like I said for what more than three months all of a sudden and Lauren has She has the bucket in front of her, with me in the room. I'm so ashamed. I'm sorry, not a bucket, but a trash bin. A trash can with a trash liner in it.

With me in the room. She then, like, starts to get sick. Proceeds to get up. Leaves the basket. To puke in on the floor because she probably, I'm gonna assume, and I could be wrong, that you didn't want to throw up in front of him. 

Lauran: I did not. I'm sorry. I don't think any girl or guy wants to throw up in front of their newly acquired beau.

Like, I, no, they don't want to do that. No, that's, 

Jordan: yeah, that's I, I'm going to Now, we're past that point, 

Lauran: we've been together for almost a decade, and I'm like, you're gonna watch me puke. Like, I You better 

Jordan: be there to rub my back. 

Lauran: Right, but like at that point, I was like, I know you, but not that well. Yeah. And you might You might think things so i'm gonna go in a bathroom I'm gonna come back 

Jordan: to that logic because then what happened was 

Lauran: So bad guys, it was so bad 

Jordan: All I hear is you run down your hall of your old house 

Lauran: You forgot I leaped over a pile of laundry 

Jordan: leaped over a pile of laundry because there was 

Lauran: my mom okay, let me let me explain to you real quick the blueprints of my family home growing up so My mom and dad, they built their house, um, and when they were building the second floor, my mom was like, I don't want a straight hallway.

I wanted to have a slight bend so it's different. So the hallway went like straight for maybe like 10 to 15 ish feet and then like veered off to the right and then at the very end of the hallway was my bedroom and on the opposite end of the hallway was the bathroom. I didn't have my own bathroom. So, Jordan's sitting in a chair, across like, it's like he's visiting me in the hospital.

He's sitting in a chair across the room from me, as far away as possible. I didn't want to catch your 

Jordan: super norovirus bug. 

Lauran: I'm not saying that you were doing anything wrong. I also would have been as far away from you as possible. But He's sitting across the room. Oh, and it was a zebra print chair. Yeah This was 2013 or no 15.

This 

Jordan: is 2015 i'm gonna be honest the only way to make it more comedic if I had like one of those like Big sticks with the little hands on it. It was just kind of rubbing your back from afar 

Lauran: So he's sitting in the zebra print chair in the corner of my room and I just get up and start bolting down the hall The hamper is on that like little curve of the hallway and my mom was doing laundry So she had pulled all the clothes out of the hamper, but just Laid them on the floor in front of my bedroom door, not even like giving me room to walk.

I had to leap over a pile of laundry, which was not a good thing to do. 

Jordan: Do you know what happens when your digestive system is not feeling well and you have to perform an athletic maneuver at high speeds? 

Lauran: The velocity of my body. I think it was the 

Jordan: impact of the landing. 

Lauran: Well, no, no, no, I think it was like the, the, uh, what, what, What physics term am I trying to use here?

I'm still using velocity, okay? The velocity of my body jumping over the, um, the clothing, okay, at that point, my bowels are all moving with me in the direction over the laundry. But then as soon as we have a different, uh, force, the impact of the landing, yes, acting upon my body, my, it's the property of inertia.

An object in motion will stay in motion. 

Jordan: It bounced off of one wall of the colon and it had to go somewhere else. 

Lauran: And it went out the other way. So, I'm jumping over this laundry, and I hit the 

floor, and I'm like holding my mouth because I'm going to throw up. But then I just start, like, pooping my pants in the hallway.

Sorry, flooping your pants? I flooped my 

pants. And I just kept running. I was running to the bathroom. And then I was 

Jordan: My favorite part, hold up, my favorite part is Instead of 

Lauran: Guys, this is so shameful. Why am I telling you this story? Oh my god. 

Jordan: Instead of you grabbing the trash can that is next to the 

Lauran: All I was thinking is, I'm gonna vomit.

I have to run. I didn't think, grab the trash. Ma'am, 

Jordan: instead of grabbing the trash can and sitting on the toilet, 

Lauran: You decided to turn. I threw, I threw up into the toilet. 

Cause that, I mean that, when one has to, has to throw up, You put your head into the toilet and you, you expel. And I, You know, sometimes, you don't know what you don't know until you know.

And, I didn't know that I was gonna, it was gonna come out both ways. I didn't know that. And so, I'm literally getting sick in the toilet and simultaneously pooping my pants. And I was just sitting there like, oh my god, just strike me down now, like take me out, please. Like I have this boy sitting in my room.

Who just spent the whole day at a speech tournament for me, and he came to visit my sick butt laying in bed And he had to watch me floof my pants in the hallway It was so embarrassing and I was like, that's it. He's gonna break up with me for sure. This is the end Like it's okay. It's fine You know, if he, if he's gonna break up with me over a normal bodily function, then I don't want him anyway.

And for some reason, guys, he stayed around. Did you really think I was gonna leave you after that? Yes! What other thing could go wrong? Oh my god. That was the, one of the most embarrassing moments. Of my life up to that point 

Jordan: that that's a big one. 

Lauran: No, but you know, here's the worst part 

Jordan: Yeah, 

Lauran: that's not the first time that that happened because ma'am earlier in the day.

Yes Earlier in the day done a similar maneuver like I had I had already Hold 

Jordan: on. I am just hold on. We're we're getting this live. We're ladies and gentlemen. We're hearing this live 

Lauran: It's 

breaking news. Um, you did that twice in that day. Yes Two times? Yes. Because The same scenario I was 

sick! You didn't learn from the first one?

I was sick, no! And I'm gonna be I will claim my stupidity, okay? Because honestly, you were the person that taught me to sit on the toilet and puke into a trash can. 

Jordan: I 

Lauran: shouldn't have had to! 

Jordan: When you 

Lauran: were in 

Jordan: college! 

Lauran: Guys. Guys. This 

is 

why I'm 

not in any kind of medical field. Because Don't take medical advice from me.

If you have the stomach flu, don't trust that your butt is going to stay clenched. It's not. It's not. Don't trust it. You gon you gon ruin your pants. Don't, don't trust 

Jordan: it. I, I do remember, just to wrap this story up though, is I do remember you had, it was a pair of, I can't remember, it was American Eagle, or Hollister, like, pajama shorts, and you were crying because after, like, after the incident, you Wait, wait, 

Lauran: this was in shorts?

Jordan: Yes. 

Lauran: Oh god! Yeah. 

Jordan: Um, but after the incident, I think it was your mom. I don't even think you came to face me. I think your mom came and she was like, Hey, she's not feeling good. I think I think you might want to just head home. I was like, Yeah, I'll see you later. I can't I can't remember if it was you or your mom that said that.

But I remember calling you later that night to check in and you were in tears. Because you were like, I can't wear those pajama pants again. It's ruined. They are done. In the 

Lauran: same way that, like, when you get sick and you eat something, like, whatever it is that you ate, Yeah. You can't ever eat it again.

Nope. Like, it's just ruined for me. Like, the one time, I got stomach flu right after I had eaten, like, the bacon gouda sandwich from Starbucks. And I, to this day, I will never put that sandwich in my mouth again. I just won't. Oh, God. I can't do it. And, like, I'm sorry, but, like, Guys, everyone poops their pants.

I just want you to know that. So, don't be ashamed if you've ever had the stomach flu and also pooped your pants. You're not alone. 

Jordan: And I was gonna say, after that story was when we determined that flooping and 

Lauran: Pooping and puking is now pooking. Pooking. 

Jordan: So 

Lauran: But we just, we refer to the dogs throwing up as puking.

Also, just because I get grossed out by it. And so, it helps me to call it something not gross. 

Jordan: So, so what did Teddy do to you though to determine that to bring it all around that can we come back from that? 

Lauran: I don't know if we can I like I don't know that there's an up there's a 

Jordan: there's no We're going 

Lauran: 88 

Jordan: miles an hour down this road we're gonna find out where we're gonna be in 

Lauran: I guess man, oh my god I I You know, just when I think nothing funny ever happens to me, you find a way to bring it all back.

Jordan: Oh, I do. Well, I think, to be fair, to be fair, the next time we do a solo episode, I should have to tell my worst story of doing something similar. 

Lauran: See, but that's not fair, because you have a disease. That causes that to happen. I just got sick and didn't know to use a trash can. Okay, so you get a 

Jordan: pass. But I do think my story in retrospect for our next solo episode.

Is both, it is simultaneously, the day I look back on as the funniest day in my life, like, I think, just like, it couldn't have gotten any funnier. And also the worst. The worst day in my life. Oh my 

Lauran: god. Guys, I hope you know that when we were trying to come up with a name for this show, a common theme kept coming back up, and it was just that every time something good happens, Something equally as terrible also happens.

Yes. Um, or like, you know, we, we venture to say we have a great life. Yeah. Like we, you know, I'm very happy with the life that I live. I, I love my friends and my family and, you know, what I do for a living and all that. I, I feel very blessed about my life. But, I would be remiss if I didn't talk about all the garbage that we have to deal with sometimes.

And it's like, that's where the whole premise of this show came from, is just laughing about all the crap we have to deal with. No pun intended. I hope none of my students listen to this show because 

Jordan: How are you gonna look them in the eye? 

Lauran: I won't. I won't ever look them in the eye again. 

Jordan: Oh no. 

Lauran: Listen, everybody poops sometimes in your pants.

Jordan: Yeah, 

Lauran: sometimes on the floor sometimes in a toilet 

Jordan: Sometimes in your favorite. I think it was Hollister brand, but yeah, sometimes 

Lauran: in your favorite pajamas, you know, we're fine We're fine. We're 

Jordan: fine. Oh So was that the high of your life or the low of your life? 

Lauran: Low 

Jordan: low 

Lauran: I was sick and I ruined my favorite pants and I pooped in front of my new boyfriend.

Jordan: Okay. 

Lauran: Hi. Hi. He was a decent human being and didn't break up with me because I was sick. Look at that. So 

Jordan: I'm gonna fight this guy. He's coming for you. I'm gonna fight him. 

Lauran: Ten years later. And I think we both have equally disgusted and delighted each other. 

Jordan: Yeah, that's the one thing with marriage is at some point, like, the mysteries just There is no way 

Lauran: it's like that one line from this is 40 Where, uh, Paul Rudd's hemorrhoids scene?

Yes, Paul Rudd's character is looking He's like, looking with a hand mirror at his butt cause he thinks, like, there's something there. And he asks his wife to check for him, and she's like Can we just keep, like, one shred of mystery in our relationship? And I'm like, with me and Jordan No, there's no mystery anymore.

I think that was 

Jordan: gone on like year three. It was just finally erased. Year 

Lauran: three? I think, no, I think it was gone much sooner than that. Much 

Jordan: sooner? 

Lauran: It was gone in month four. Month four? Yeah, it was gone the moment I puked. No, because I 

Jordan: don't think I had puked or done anything like that yet, so. No, 

Lauran: because that was, okay, for, you know, before, because we'll go into more of this when you want to, but for like the first.

Was it the first two years of our relationship you were in remission for a while and or even longer than that? I feel like it was maybe three or four years. 

Theme: Yeah, 

Lauran: so yeah Cuz I remember at one point when you actually like when you got sick again You were like you didn't sign up for this and I was like, what are you talking about?

I knew about all of this and you were like, but I wasn't sick when we got married and I was like, okay like What? You got sick so I don't love you anymore? Like, 

Jordan: what? Why are you saying it in a transatlantic accent? You didn't sign up for this. 

Lauran: When will I see you again? Oh, never. Never. Oh my god. Yeah, so anywho, I'm sick.

I didn't say it. You said it! No! Ow! Another ow. I, I'm sick. And, uh, Ted always You know, he always wants to add, he wants me to feel better by knowing that he feels worse than me. So How does that make you feel better? He's like, if she realizes how sick I am, maybe she'll feel like, oh, I'm not that sick. 

Jordan: Like we said.

With Ted he he's our special boy because like he's just goofy like he is he's like it's he has weird ways of showing you love and affection old man he is he has weird ways of showing you love and affection like this dog does not want you to stop petting him and his way of telling you to not stop petting you is like Punching you.

Yeah. 

Lauran: He'll scratch your legs off if you're not paying attention to him. He'll just like like constantly 

Jordan: like duncan will do it like soft Yeah, no Teddy's like rocky balboa. It is just like wham 

Lauran: which is funny because duncan is our burna doodle He's like an 80 pound dog and teddy's like a 50 pound little aussie shepherd.

Yeah, he's he's got a fighting spirit, man 

Jordan: He's got a fighting spirit. But yeah, 

Lauran: but he's he duncan has A gut of steel, Teddy. Has a gut of glass like he will do 

Jordan: I think glass. Yeah, plastic bag. 

Lauran: Okay We'll go with plastic bag. Like he just Because the problem is he likes food so he'll eat all of his food and then he'll turn around and poke it all up on the floor 

Jordan: Yeah, I've been on the receiving end of that.

It is not fun. 

Lauran: Yeah, so My 

Jordan: favorite's when it doesn't even digest, it just comes back up, and it's just still whole chunks of dog food. I'm 

Lauran: sorry this episode got so gross, guys. We, honestly, we did not intend to talk about this today, but, I mean It's been a fun time. And on that note, uh, I'm, I'm ready to play our excellent adventure to get the, the image of me running down my hallway.

Well, in order to do that, we 

Jordan: got to go on a break. So 

Lauran: we'll be right back.

We're back 

Jordan: now. 

Lauran: It's time for this week's. Eggcellent adventure. Yay! 

Jordan: I feel 

Lauran: like we need like a little theme song for it. So this is called Destiny Over Easy. 

Jordan: Wait, can the egg's name be Destiny? 

Lauran: No, his name is Benedict. We always have 

Jordan: boy eggs. Why can't we have a girl egg? 

Lauran: I don't, that's a great question.

Well, okay, next time we'll have to add that in. Yeah. Mix up, mix up our, our, our gender of our eggs. 

Jordan: What's his last name? Benedict what? 

Lauran: Scramblebatch. 

Jordan: I was thinking that too! I was literally thinking that! Were you? Yes! 

Lauran: Yeah! Benedict Scramblebatch. Okay, so chapter one, the arrival of Benedict. One stormy night beneath the glow of a suspiciously green tinted moon, you found it.

An egg nestled atop a velvet pillow in a box labeled, Do Not Scramble. First off, 

Jordan: first off, I like the instructions, do not kill, that's important, don't kill, um, if an egg was just put on your doorstep, would you cook with it? 

Lauran: I mean, no, cause like, who knows where it's been? I was gonna 

Jordan: say, I feel like that's really suspicious, like, I'm not gonna cook with some egg that I just randomly found on my doorstep.

Lauran: But also, like, I feel like it's relatively hard to tamper with eggs. Like, because you don't eat the outside of the egg. No, 

Jordan: I don't know because I've seen some like science fiction movies where they get those like really super sharp fine needles. Like a 

Lauran: pinhole. Yeah, 

Jordan: and they inject the drugs in that way.

Lauran: Okay, well, well we've already determined we're not going to scramble it, so. Yeah. Okay. The egg was warm, pulsating ever so slightly as if dreaming of its future. The note attached simply read, Take care of Benedict. He is special. Oh, it sounds like somebody Somebody gave up their baby. Yeah, and they didn't want 

Jordan: to.

That makes me sad. It 

Lauran: does make me sad. You stared at each other. Was this fate? Destiny? I mean A terrible mistake by some other household expecting an exotic pet delivery? Regardless, Benedict was now yours. 

Jordan: I mean, I can't really stare at, like this, the egg. I'm staring at the egg. The egg can't stare back at me.

It has no eyes. It's just an egg. 

Lauran: That's true. As Benedict's new parents, you face your first critical decision. How will you nurture Benedict's early days? A. Give Benedict an elite, structured upbringing. You build a small egg academy in your living room, complete with flashcards, motivational posters, and daily enrichment activities designed to make Benedict the most accomplished egg in history.

Jordan: Okay. 

Lauran: Or B. Allow Benedick to experience pure, free range living. You craft a tiny backpack, take Benedick on adventures, and expose him to the wonders of the world, art, music, philosophy, and perhaps the occasional high stakes poker game in the park. What will you choose? I love 

Jordan: the high stakes poker. I 

Lauran: feel like both are, both are cool options.

Jordan: Both are, um, both are very good options. Um Do we want 

Lauran: an Eggcademy, or do we want to take him on adventures? I liked the phrasing, free range living. I 

Jordan: know, because I was thinking of like cage free eggs and free range chickens. Oh my gosh, um. 

Lauran: I feel like we're going on an adventure. 

Jordan: Are we going on an adventure, David?

We're 

Lauran: going on an adventure! Isn't that from The Hobbit? 

Jordan: Uh, not The Hobbit, um, Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Rings. There is a difference. Sorry. There is a difference. 

Lauran: Okay, I'm sorry. Alright, what's your choice? 

Jordan: I think we're going cage free. 

Lauran: Cage free. 

Jordan: We're taking that, we're taking Benedict Scramblebatch out in the world.

Lauran: I love his name. 

Jordan: I do too. He 

Lauran: might be one of my favorite names. What was the waffle one? Waffles 

Jordan: O'Brien. 

Lauran: Waffles O'Brien. Waffles O'Brien. Why did I think it was Waffles O'Hooliand? Waffles O'Brien. I like Benedict Scramblebatch. I think that might be my favorite. Okay, chapter two. The Free Range Adventures of Benedict.

Years have passed, though no one is quite sure how many, because you stopped keeping track after your fourth cross country road trip with Benedict. 

Jordan: Four of them? 

Lauran: Four. Wow. Did we just quit our jobs? I think 

Jordan: we did. 

Lauran: Okay. 

Jordan: We must be like 

Lauran: Travel vloggers. 

Jordan: I was gonna say travel, travel podcasters. Okay, we could be We have a remote podcast set up.

Lauran: Ooh, do we live in one of those converted school buses? 

Jordan: Oh, I like converted school bus. I was going to say one of those converted Sprinter vans, but I like converted school bus better. Could 

Lauran: never be me because I have too much garbage to take with me, like all my books and stuff. But I feel like I love it.

You could do it. 

Jordan: I feel I have to have an internet access, which yeah, 

Lauran: people do. Yeah, I mean, the ones that I've seen, they're very nice and they look cozy and comfy. I feel like we just like our space. I don't know. I can do it. You could do it. I could not. The egg has truly lived. Benedict has basked in the glow of a Parisian sunrise.

Listen, wait, how did we cross country to Paris? Are we 

Jordan: You've never taken the underground, like, tunnel from New York to Paris? No. Aw man, you gotta do it. There's like a glass, like, halfway through so you can see out into the depths of the ocean. Okay. One time I saw a kraken. It was pretty sick. 

Lauran: Get out of here.

Listen to jazz in New Orleans. And once Quite impressively, broke even in a high stakes poker game against a mysterious group of elderly pigeons. 

Jordan: Why are we playing poker with pigeons? 

Lauran: I have no idea. Not the pigeon poker. The pigeon poker! You've raised Benedict as a citizen of the world, and it shows. He speaks four languages!

Though being an egg, it's unclear how. 

Jordan: I also, we've only been to two countries, apparently. The United States and France. 

Lauran: Do you know how many languages are spoken in the United States? 

Jordan: But we're missing a language. 

Lauran: Well, no, he could, he could have learned four languages in the United States alone. 

Jordan: That's true.

That's very true. 

Lauran: We are a melting pot. 

Jordan: We are. 

Lauran: Okay, so he's become a citizen of the world, speaks four languages, though being an egg, it's unclear how, has developed a deep appreciation for surrealist art and recently began hosting a weekly philosophy salon in your garage, a philosophy salon. 

Jordan: Is he cutting hair while, like, espousing philosophy?

Lauran: No, I'm thinking it's more like, like, like an old timey salon, like where people, like, sit on No, like salon. It's a salon. Like where people would sit on, like, chaise lounges and, like, drink brandy and Is 

Jordan: that a term? I didn't know this. Is that a term? A salon? Yeah, like I think so. I'm just so used to being, like, you know, a hair salon.

Lauran: Well, yeah, there's a hair salon, but then a salon, I feel like, I think it can also be Like a sitting room. Oh, yeah. I know that. Yeah. Look at that. More, you know. Which has an alarmingly high turnout. So there's just people chilling in our garage all the time. However, Benedict is at a crossroads. He feels torn between two equally compelling life paths and his parents, as his parents, who must guide him.

What should Benedict pursue next? 

Jordan: Okay. What, what, what is his next deal? Wait until you hear this. Okay. Oh no. 

Lauran: The culinary arts. Benedict has shown an uncanny ability to identify any spice by scent alone and believes he is destined to revolutionize the world of fine dining. He dreams of opening a Michelin starred restaurant that serves only deconstructed omelets, but refuses to explain what that means.

Jordan: Wait, I gotta think about this. Hold on. Cause deconstructed. 

Lauran: Deconstructed is like if I said, Oh, I'm going to give you a cheeseburger. Yeah. But I only put like some ground beef. A little, like, splash of cheese on the plate, and then, like, something else. It's, like, not a cheeseburger, but it's a broken down cheeseburger.

That's what I was 

Jordan: gonna say. It's like 

Lauran: An omelette is kind of already Deconstructed. That's what I was getting at. It's 

Jordan: like, an omelette's technically kind of already a deconstructed dish. 

Lauran: Same. Or Or A life of espionage. Through a series of very suspicious coincidences, Benedict has been invited to Eggsford Academy of Covert Affairs.

Top Secret Intelligence Training program. The invitation simply states, we've been watching you. Your skills are, do, do. Excellent. Rare, 

Jordan: excellent. Oh, . 

Lauran: I know. Excellent. Would've been good. Okay. 

Jordan: Spy. 

Lauran: Uh, like I was gonna say, he has to do the spy was say be the 

Jordan: spy with the name. He's a world 

Lauran: traveler 

Jordan: and his name is Benedict Scramble Badge.

Lauran: And he speaks four languages. 

Jordan: Super spy. 

Lauran: He's an international spy, spy. Spy. Okay. Chapter 3. 

Theme: Chapter. 

Lauran: Benedict. Agent Yolk. Or no, Agent of Yolk. 

Jordan: Oh, Agent of Yolk. 

Lauran: Several more years have passed. Though time feels strange. Hmm. In the world of Espion. Since arriving at Eggsford Academy of Covert Affairs, Benedict has become a legend among spies.

His ability to blend seamlessly into breakfast buffets has made him the perfect undercover agent. 

Jordan: Wait, what what breakfast buffet? First off what breakfast buffet? Have you ever been to that there are just raw eggs sitting out at the breakfast buffet? 

Lauran: Now, there could be like hard boiled eggs sitting out, but like 

Jordan: I'm sorry, a hard boiled egg looks different than just an uncooked egg.

Lauran: Does it? I don't think hard boiled eggs But what I'm saying is like if they don't peel off the shell first. Because some people like they'll cook the hard boiled eggs, but They don't serve hard boiled 

Jordan: eggs like that. I've never, I have never been served a hard boiled egg that has not had the shell taken off.

Lauran: Okay, but to be fair, I've also watched so many TV shows where like, like they're like old Older TV shows where like a kid literally has like a hard boiled egg sitting in like a hard boiled egg dish in a cup and he takes the spoon and cracks the top of the shell. Yeah, like 

Jordan: when you're at your house.

Lauran: That's what I'm saying. Maybe it's like that. 

Jordan: They said breakfast buffets. 

Lauran: I don't know man. And I'm 

Jordan: gonna be honest. I don't know many breakfast buffets that serve hard boiled eggs. 

Lauran: Okay, when we were in Ireland and we ordered the breakfast up to our room, it came with like a whole tomato on it, and we were like, I wonder what that's for, but that's like part of their normal breakfast.

It's like normal for you to have a whole tomato on your plate. So, maybe people just have whole bowls of hard boiled eggs. 

Jordan: Okay, you might be right. I, uh, not hard boiled, uncooked eggs. 

Lauran: But he's blending it. 

Jordan: He's blending it, okay, he's, he's hidden. He's invisible. 

Lauran: His top secret mission have, missions have taken him around the world from infiltrating the international dairy cartel To preventing the unauthorized weaponization of waffle irons.

Jordan: My God, how are we, that scares me. The weaponization of waffle irons? Yeah, just 

Lauran: waffle your face. God, 

Jordan: what if they were like putting like machine guns and waffle irons and when you would open them up, they just like, getcha. 

Lauran: I feel like, what are the, what, how often are people using waffle irons? That that would be a tactic.

Jordan: I am sure there are people who are the targets. Of nefarious spy plots where the bad spies would use them as tools. Like you're just, uh, you're, you're the good spy. And you know, you're like, I want breakfast today. My kids want some fresh homemade waffles. You open up your waffle iron, bam, dead spy, taken out, spy games.

Lauran: However, 

Jordan: look what it's come to. 

Lauran: His latest mission was his most dangerous yet. A mysterious villain known only as. The WISC had been stealing classified recipes and encrypting them inside an uncrackable soufflé. 

Jordan: Oh my gosh. 

Lauran: Benedict was the only agent who could decipher it. After all, he had once trained under the world's greatest pastry chef in a secret Parisian underground kitchen.

With mere seconds to spare, Benedict cracked the soufflé's code, stopping the whisk from launching a global dessert based mind control scheme. Oh no! The mission was a success, but something felt off. 

Jordan: What felt off? 

Lauran: Afterward, Benedict received a secret message from an unknown source. The agency isn't what you think.

If you want the truth, follow the smell of burnt toast. 

Jordan: The call's coming from inside the house. 

Lauran: It calls for me coming from inside the kitchen. 

Jordan: Calls coming from inside the kitchen! 

Lauran: Now Benedict faces a choice that could change everything. 

Jordan: We have to find the mole. 

Lauran: What should he do? 

Jordan: We have to find the guacamole.

Lauran: Stay loyal to Yolk and continue his work as an elite spy, pushing away any doubts. It's dangerous to question authority. And besides, who else will stop the next Derry Bay supervillain? Or go rogue. Follow the trail of burnt toast, uncover the secrets of the agency, and discover the truth, no matter how dangerous it may be.

Jordan: Oh, we're going, we're going rogue. 

Lauran: We're going rogue? 

Jordan: Yeah, we are Yolk Force One. Rogue. 

Lauran: Yolk One. 

Jordan: Yolk One. No, aw, that joke sucked. 

Lauran: I liked it. 

Jordan: No. 

Lauran: I thought it was egg cellent. 

Jordan: You don't have to pander me. 

Lauran: Chapter 4, The Truth Beneath the 

Jordan: Shell. So we did go with the rogue plot. Yes. Okay, good. We went rogue. We went rogue.

Lauran: Benedict knew that spies were supposed to trust no one. But something about that cryptic message felt right. Late one night, he abandoned his post at Yolk HQ, following the faint yet unmistakable smell of burnt toast. I feel 

Jordan: bad for him. So he's like this master spy, but he still has to pull guard duty? 

Lauran: I know, right?

Man, I feel like he's been like above that. I was gonna say give Benedict some like R& R. Well, it's got his duty. 

Jordan: Okay, just like you earlier. 

Lauran: Shut up, Jordan.

You know what? Don't think I can continue. I don't think I can go on. 

Jordan: No, we need to know what happens. 

Lauran: Well, you shouldn't have made fun of me. 

Jordan: I'm sorry. 

Lauran: Are you? 

Jordan: I am. 

Lauran: Are you? 

Jordan: Truly sorry. 

Lauran: No, you're not. 

Jordan: No, I am not. 

Lauran: He followed the unmistakable smell of burnt toast through the darkened streets of a city that never sleeps.

Is that, like, isn't that a, uh, like It's a 

Jordan: sign of having a stroke. Is it, 

Lauran: is it a real sign of having a stroke? 

Jordan: The scent of toast, yeah. 

Lauran: Really? 

Jordan: Burnt toast, yeah. 

Lauran: I thought that was just like a, like a mean joke. 

Jordan: No, I'm pretty sure that's the sign of having a stroke. 

Lauran: Oh, wow. Well, hopefully he's not having a stroke then.

Yeah. The trail led to an abandoned diner on the outskirts of town. The neon sign flickered. Sunny side down. 

Jordan: Oh, 

Lauran: inside the place. Isn't that just 

Jordan: over easy? 

Lauran: Yeah. Inside the place looked untouched for years except for a single booth unoccupied, no. Occupied by a figure. Cloaked in shadows. You're finally awake.

Benedict the figure said sliding an old manila folder Across the table. Inside were classified documents, yellowed with age, stamped with the words. Operation Over Easy. 

Jordan: The Sunny Side 

Lauran: Down Cafe. It was foreshadowing! Oof. Oof. As Benedict read, his shell went cold. Yolk wasn't what it seemed. The organization wasn't protecting the world.

It was controlling it! He worked for the bad guys! He was a part of the bad guys, Lauren! Their so called missions had been carefully orchestrated to keep the world dependent on eggs. A global conspiracy designed to manipulate the breakfast industry. So 

Jordan: what do you think, like, the souffle attack would have done?

Would have broken everybody free of the egg hypnosis? 

Lauran: Maybe. So maybe he had to stop it to keep everybody eating eggs. 

Jordan: Eggs, yes. 

Lauran: But wouldn't he want to not have people eat eggs? Because he's an egg? 

Jordan: cannibalistic cult of eggs? 

Lauran: Dun dun dun! Oh 

Jordan: no. 

Lauran: And worse yet, Benedict wasn't the first egg to go rogue. But the others had all mysteriously disappeared.

The figure leaned in closer. You have two choices, Benedict. Now we get to pick for Benedict?! Like, we are Benedict! We are 

Jordan: Benedict! We've been, we've been transplanted into his mind! 

Lauran: What should Benedict do? 

Jordan: Okay, what should he do? 

Lauran: Expose Yolk to the world. Go public with the truth, no matter the cost. This could change history, but it also means painting a giant target on Benedict's shell.

Or, infiltrate Yolk from within. Pretend to stay loyal while secretly working to dismantle their operations from the inside. It's dangerous, but it might be the only way to bring them down without getting scrambled. 

Jordan: He's a spy. He's trained to subvert. 

Lauran: So you think we infiltrate? 

Jordan: We infiltrate. 

Lauran: We infiltrate his lair!

Ah! Is that from like Austin Powers? 

Jordan: I think so, yeah. 

Lauran: Chapter 5, Cracking the Conspiracy from Within. 

Jordan: Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. 

Lauran: Is that his spy music? 

Jordan: Yeah, it's like a really crappy version of Mission Impossible. 

Lauran: Oh, that was Mission Impossible? 

Jordan: I, like I said, it was a really crappy version of it. I didn't say it was good.

Lauran: Benedict took a deep breath. Going public was too risky. Yolk had too much power. Too many allies. If he wanted to bring them down, he needed to do it from inside. Yes. He burned the classified documents, memorizing every detail, and shook hands with the mysterious informant. Consider me your inside egg, he whispered.

Jordan: Why would you burn it? 

Lauran: You don't want anyone to find out. Yeah, but I feel like You still need a copy! Okay, fine. He took the documents and made a copy, and then burned the original. No, 

Jordan: no, he was dumb and he burned them. This is me as his parent being like, Why'd you burn them? You could've kept them. You probably needed that information.

Lauran: Benedict returned to Yolk headquarters the next morning, acting as if nothing had changed. He accepted a new mission with his unusual, er, with his usual precision, all while secretly working to uncover the organization's darkest secrets. Slowly, he planted doubts among his fellow agents, questioning the ethics of their missions.

He rerouted intelligence to whistleblowers in the food industry. He leaked files exposing Yolk's role in rigging global omelette competitions. Not the global omelette competitions, but just as he was on the verge of exposing their greatest secret, disaster struck. What 

Jordan: happened? What happened to my boy?

Lauran: Benedict received a coded message from his only ally. He informed it from the diner. It was just one line. They know. 

Jordan: I'm also concerned that his, his only ally is a man he's met once and doesn't even know the name of. 

Lauran: Yeah, that's a little bit concerning, isn't it? Yeah. 

Jordan: I'm a little concerned about Benedict Scramblebatch's choices here.

Lauran: Alarms blared at Yolk headquarters. Benedict's cover had been blown. With seconds to escape, Benedict grabbed one last classified file. Wait, so he's grabbing the classified file now, but he burned the first one? Okay. 

Jordan: Benedict, come on, we gotta make better spy choices here, man. 

Lauran: Sprinting toward the exit, but he was met By Agent Poacher.

Jordan: Oh gosh. 

Lauran: Yolk's deadliest enforcer. 

Jordan: Oh no. 

Lauran: You were a promising recruit, Benedict. Poacher sneered, cracking his knuckles. Not in the middle of the fight! You were a promising recruit, Benedict. Poacher sneered, cracking his knuckles. Shame it has to end like this. Oh gosh. Benedict has one final choice to make, eh?

Make a daring escape, Benedict grabs a grappling hook hidden in his shell, swings over Poacher, and disappears into the night. He'll have to live on the run, but at least he'll be free. Or be. Fight back. Benedict has trained too hard to run now. He stands his ground, preparing for the most intense hand to hand, or hand to shell, combat of his life.

If he wins He could take down Yolk for good. 

Jordan: He has to fight. 

Lauran: Fight! 

Fight! 

Jordan: Let them fight! 

Lauran: Let's get ready to rumble! 

Jordan: Let's 

Lauran: get ready to scramble! 

Jordan: That was a good one. 

Lauran: I know. 

Jordan: Just imagine like this is like Godzilla and like King Kong getting ready to square off. 

Lauran: It's an egg and some dude named the poacher.

Jordan: Isn't poaching when you steam an egg? 

Lauran: It's, uh, I think, like, you boil it, like, you crack it open into boiling water. Oh, 

Jordan: gosh, that's really devastating. Like, that, that's ominous for Benedict. 

Lauran: Yeah, it's not looking great. Oh, he better 

Jordan: win. Is that what's gonna happen to him if he loses? That's, like, really traumatic.

He can't lose. 

Lauran: Chapter Six. 

Jordan: Okay. 

Lauran: HQ. 

Jordan: Gunfires everywhere. 

Lauran: Benedict refused to run. He had spent too many years training for moments like this. If he backed down now, Yolk would continue its corrupt reign over the breakfast industry. With a flick of his shell, He reached into his spy belt and activated his explosive smoke bomb, a gadget he had invented himself.

Jordan: A division. 

Lauran: A division. During his time at Eggsford Academy, the room filled with a thick sulfuric fog. Oh, that stinks. Ooh, ooh, that smells. Stirred like eggs. Giving him just enough time to strike first. Poacher was fast, but Benedict was faster. 

Jordan: Yes. 

Lauran: He ducked under a brutal right hook, countering with a perfectly timed yoke foo maneuver.

Jordan: Yoke foo. 

Lauran: Sending Poacher stumbling backward. The fight raged through the halls of Yoke HQ. smashing through filing cabinets, espionage training rooms, and the highly classified experimental omelet division. Let's see, 

Jordan: what's an experimental omelet? I want to know. A deconstructed 

Lauran: omelet? 

Jordan: A deconstructed omelet.

Lauran: Sparks flew as Poacher launched a devastating spatula strike, barely missing Benedict's, Benedict's shell. But Benedict had a secret weapon. With one final move, he flipped onto Poacher's shoulder and whispered in his ear, You ever wonder why they call it Eggs Benedict? Because I always come out on top! Oh no!

With a swift twist, Benedict executed his signature finishing move, the over easy takedown. Flipping Poacher onto the ground with such force That the floor beneath them cracked. I'm sorry, that was a badass takedown line. That 

Jordan: was. You wanna 

Lauran: know why they call it Eggs Benedict? 

Jordan: Because I always come out on top.

Lauran: That was amazing. I'm not 

Jordan: gonna lie, that would have been like the movie, like, if I was like, a little like, kid. That's what 

Lauran: Liam Neeson would say. 

Jordan: I was gonna say, as a little kid watching like, some sort of like, action cartoon, and they would have said that, I would have been like, OH 

Lauran: MY GOD! The alarms were still blaring, more agents were on their way, but Benedict had what he came for.

The final classified file containing Yolk's darkest secret. 

Jordan: The dark secret. 

Lauran: Inside was one devastating sentence. 

Jordan: What's it say? What's it say? What's it say? 

Lauran: Yolk is a front for the Muffet Men! Oh my gosh, it keeps going deeper! The Muffet Men, the real masterminds behind the Global Breakfast Conspiracy.

They had used Yolk as a cover while secretly controlling bakeries, diners, and brunch menus worldwide. Benedict's mission wasn't over. It had just begun. Epilogue. The Egg Goes Rogue. Benedict disappeared that night, vanishing into the underground food resistance movement. Stories of a mysterious rogue agent began circulating across the breakfast industry.

Some said, He was in Italy, dismantling the Biscotti cartel. 

Jordan: The Biscotti cartel! 

Lauran: Others claimed he was in Tokyo, exposing the Tamago Syndicate. 

Jordan: Oh my god, I love these names. 

Lauran: One thing was certain. Benedict wasn't done yet. Because somewhere, in the shadows of the world's bakeries The Muffin Men were watching.

The end? Question mark. I need a part two. So I love how at the end we got some achievement unlocks. Oh we got an achievement unlock? Yeah it says, final score, legendary free range super spy, achievement unlocked, exposed Yolk's corruption, became the first egg to defeat Agent Poacher, discovered the Muffin Men conspiracy, set up a sequel hook for Eggs 2 The Reckoning.

Jordan: I want eggs to the reckoning. 

Lauran: Oh my god. Okay, that would that has to be our next one Yes Eggs to the reckoning with the takedown of the muffin man takedown of the muffin. Oh my god Okay, so let's we need a picture. 

Jordan: Yes, we I we need to see so Send the request to see the photo of benedict 

Lauran: So i'm going to ask it to generate an image of benedict fighting agent poacher 

Jordan: Okay, 

Lauran: because like that scene was incredible.

So let's see what they come up with. 

Jordan: Oh, come on. Come on 

Lauran: I like want this to be a movie now. 

Jordan: I was just, I was thinking that during like the entire thing is there's totally a framework for like a script in there and everything. What? Hold on. Oh my gosh. 

Lauran: Wait until you see this guy. We have Agent Poacher, who just looks like a egghead dude, but he's like, 

Jordan: he's got a beard kind of going on or a goatee.

No, he's got some like 

Lauran: five o'clock shadow. It's not even a whole goatee. Yeah. Then he has these like, those finger gloves, but like a whole fork coming out of one of the finger gloves. It's probably like a 

Jordan: hidden weapon that he goes to punch you. Yeah, like Wolverine. And he was like, Oh, I'm going to block it.

And he, he like flexes a muscle and it shoots a fork out. 

Lauran: And then we have Benedict. Who you could see the yoke as his face. And he's got these cool aviator glasses on and like a spy suit. And he's just like doing like this, he's 

Jordan: getting ready to high kick him in the face. 

Lauran: Yeah. He's about to high kick the guy, right?

That guy has giant eyebrows. 

Jordan: He does. 

Lauran: He kind of looks like grew. 

Jordan: I was 

Lauran: thinking that he looks like a skinny group. He does. He looks like a, an athletically built grew. And then the, I mean, the building itself is nothing special, but I mean, karate move or yoke foo move. It was. It's pretty impressive. Even the one it came up with before, it's just adorable.

Jordan: He's just a little brown egg in the street. And look, 

Lauran: there's the guy! 

Jordan: Oh, is he hidden? Oh, he's in the background! 

Lauran: So, I actually had it make two images. The first one is just of Benedict, and then the second one was him fighting Agent Poacher. So the first image of Benedict It's just kind of cute, but then we have the little, the informant guy in the background.

What is this thing? Oh, it's like a spy drone I'm going with. It just looks like an umbrella on, like, a spider. It's a spy drone. A 

Jordan: spy der drone. Wow, did, did you come up with that on the spot? Yep. I could tell. 

Lauran: Okay, um, I think this one was the coolest story yet. 

Jordan: We have to, have to come back. 

Lauran: There has to, this has to be a sequel.

It just has to. Is this, we need to save this chat GPT. Log. 

Theme: Yes. 

Lauran: Don't delete that, because I definitely, even if we don't do it on the show, I want to do that again. Because that was incredible. Oh my god. 

Jordan: I wonder if there's something deeper than the Muffin Man. Maybe the president knows. 

Lauran: I think, I, okay, but, the Muffin Man?

Jordan: Yeah. 

Lauran: Making a front, like, make, putting, it's like the, the Chick fil A cows saying eat more chicken. 

Jordan: Yeah. 

Lauran: You know? Of course they would have 

Jordan: but really behind the cows 

Lauran: and they're trying to get people to eat more eggs and stuff 

Jordan: But I was to say but this goes deeper. This would be like yeah There's the cows that say eat more chicken But behind the cows are the turkeys who are trying to cause conflict between the cows and chickens Trying to get everybody to eat either cow or chicken and take off the like Worry of turkeys being that's the same sort of thing going on here.

Lauran: This goes so much deeper than you and me. 

Jordan: Oh, yeah 

Lauran: I'm scared for the breakfast industry