The Cleveland Browns Are Tackling School Attendance—Wait, What?

Lauran: This podcast has content that may be distressing to some listeners. Be sure to check the description below for content warnings. And now, a poem in the style of Billy Collins. 

Jordan: Before we begin, consider this a gentle tap on the shoulder, a voice clearing its throat, before stepping into the light, what we say may drift like autumn leaves, soft and harmless, or land like a stone in a quiet pond, of your afternoon.

If a phrase catches in your chest, if a memory rises uninvited, know that you can press pause. Step away. Let the world settle where they will. We're here to share, not to shake the ground. But sometimes, even the smallest tremor can feel like an earthquake. 

Lauran: Our jobs are so mundane, or like, we just feel like we're not making a difference.

But when somebody, like, takes a minute out of their day to tell you that, I feel like it just, it makes all the difference in the world.

Jordan: We are, we are Thor! There was a couple times when you were talking to Kyle where you said things like Did I? Yeah! 

Lauran: Listen, okay, okay, we're starting off here because as you'll get to learn at the end of the episode Jordan kind of lifts the veil and tells you guys that we actually film the beginning of the episode at the end After we've done all the other parts Hollywood Magic.

So, now you lost, you got me to lose my train of thought. Where was I going with this? We were just having some standard chat 

Jordan: shit. 

Lauran: Oh! Oh! Stop it. So we were, you mentioned Kyle, which, who is our special guest today, Mr. Kyle Cohen. So excited because not only is he, um, A fellow Ohioan. 

Jordan: Yes. 

Lauran: But 

Jordan: also from Northeast Ohio.

Northeast Ohio. 

Lauran: Right. He is a Cleveland assistant principal. Uh, and he shares his journey online all about being an assistant principal and formerly a fourth grade teacher and all kinds of fun content. So make sure you check out his pages. But, Jordan was saying how I, like while we were talking with Kyle, I was saying certain things like Moira.

Jordan: You're re watching Schitt's Creek. I am. It's amazing. It's a great show. No, I'm not, I'm not, but you do this thing. I swear. It doesn't matter if it's TV shows, movies. Just if we visit a certain area for too long 

Lauran: Yeah, 

Jordan: and we'll we talk about like Lauren and Kyle's like speechy background because they were both in Speech and debate in high school, but I think it's part of that is the root cause 

Lauran: Yeah, I would say is the root cause 

Jordan: but you pick up the accent of just something you're fixated on 

Lauran: Like, scarily fast.

I, I, It's not intentional. 

Jordan: No, it's not intentional. And then the other issue with it is, It doesn't take over your complete dialect. It'll just be certain words. And I'll just be like 

Lauran: Yeah, it'll be intermittent. Um, but like we first realized it a while ago because we actually were visiting Jordan's brother and his wife in Tennessee and they're like, obviously in Tennessee, there are people who have more of a Southern.

Draw in their speech and they, you know, they speak with a Southern accent and I started to, we were only there for like four days. Yeah. And I started to pick up a Southern accent and I wasn't even, I was doing it subconsciously. I didn't even realize it until Jordan was like, why are you speaking like that?

And I was like, what are you, what are you talking about? Like, I'm not doing it right now, but like, it was so Noticeable, but I didn't notice it and now I realize that's something that I do is like if I'm somewhere where people are speaking in an accent different from how I speak, I start to pick up on that and subconsciously change my speech to include that accent.

I don't understand how that happens or why. I'm sure there's someone somewhere that could explain it scientifically. You're a little, you're a little 

Jordan: vocal chameleon. 

Lauran: I am a vocal chameleon. I love that. I am a vocal, I am a vocal chameleon. There's my Moira. 

Jordan: You know what I did find? My hat. From last week.

Lauran: If you're coming to this episode for the first time, you're probably so confused. 

Jordan: Why is there a pineapple 

Lauran: hat? Well. Maybe you should go check out the episode and find out. Yeah, 

Jordan: go check out last, I think it would be last week's episode. Yeah. Yes. 

Lauran: Yeah. It was, it was a good one. I promise. Um, 

Jordan: with principal lamb, 

Lauran: principal lamb and Brenna were so great.

So yeah, uh, this was, this is, uh, an interesting episode. So I'm not going to lie. It's heavy on the teacher. So if you're in education. And you are like, I can't listen to one more thing in education right now. I totally get it, but you're going to want to listen to this one. Cause we talk about lots of important stuff and how teachers are awesome and how we need to support families and students and lots of, lots of important education things.

Uh, and if you're not in education, you should still listen because I think this is knowledge that everyone needs. And that we all need to fix our education system, because it's broken.

It needs our help. I feel like we need to put out, like, one of those, like, AS ASPCA ads. With like the, the ones that would show up on TV and make you feel bad. You should write, 

Jordan: you should write a song. In the arms of a teacher. 

Lauran: No. 

Jordan: Why? 

Lauran: Uh, you will not Sarah McLachlan this podcast. No, but it, like it, I feel like that's what, that's what our education system needs.

We need an ASPCA ad on TV. With just, just teachers holding books. It's just. Looking sad in a classroom. Why 

Jordan: would the ASPCA do a teacher ad? 

Lauran: No, not, not, not the actual ASPCA. I'm saying that style of ad. A 

Jordan: style. Sorry. That 

Lauran: style of ad. We should do that where we just have like teachers holding books in classrooms looking sad and, uh, like, like, okay, and a student sitting there, like, eating their, eating their lunch in a cafeteria.

So I take 

Jordan: it that your suggestion Is that we petition the NEA to spend an insane budget to create a Sarah McLachlan style campaign have a song written that pulls at the heart strings of everyone in the nation. 

Lauran: Your donation of just three cents a day, three cents a day can provide meals for hundreds of elementary children.

And books for classroom, that haven't received new classroom library books in decades. Just three cents. Three 

Jordan: cents, wow. That's 

Lauran: it. Three cents a day and we fix education, guys. That's how we do it. 

Jordan: I don't, I think there's a lot more wrong. 

Lauran: No, I'm totally, I'm totally being sarcastic. If you, you can't hear the sarcasm in my voice, there's a lot more we need to do.

But we have a whole episode, so you guys, stick around. We'll be right back.

Alright everybody, we are back and today we have, I'm excited because we have a fellow Ohioan today. Okay. 

Jordan: In Ohio, a Northeast Ohioan. 

Lauran: Yes, it's, we are, we are a special, a special group of people up here in Northeast Ohio. Uh, and today our special guest is Mr. Kyle Cohen. Thank you so much for being here. 

Kyle: It is a joy to be here.

I'm so excited. 

Lauran: So are you in your, are you in your office right now? 

Kyle: We are in the office. You are in the assistant principal's office. 

Lauran: Oh, I don't like that. Coming in live, man. We're in the principal's office. 

Kyle: Oh boy. But I have snacks. Oh, okay, okay. So, um, it's a happy place to be. I was about to say, it sounds 

Jordan: like we're in there for a good reason now.

If there's snacks, we're good. 

Lauran: Yeah. 

Kyle: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Lauran: I think that's so crazy. Like, you're one of the first People I feel like because I don't, I don't know how old you are and you don't have to share, but I feel like we're relatively in the same age range and you're like one of the first people that I know that was a teacher and now is has made the transition into administration.

So I think that's something that's really interesting to me because I'm. Like I'm about to finish my second master's degree in administration. Um, and like, I just want to know, like, what has that been like for you? 

Kyle: Yeah, it's been wild. I completed my admin licensure program a couple of years ago. And I, I knew from like my second year in the classroom, I wanted to go into school leadership because I quickly learned from like my earliest days in the classroom, how essential it is to have a leader who has your back and who has, um, and have a leader who understands the ins and outs of what teachers go through every single day.

And I wanted to be that person. I wanted to be that person who goes to bat for teachers, who goes to bat for kids every single day, um, and who has like the energy and drive and excitement to do that. So I knew that like, I didn't want to wait 15, 20 years to go into this position because I'm so excited about it now.

And I'm in a place in my life where I can give it my all now. And we're filming this at 5 40 PM and I'm still at work, but like, it's okay because like, I have the capacity to take this on now. Um, But for the past few years, I've put my name out there and just try to network to the best of my ability to, um, see you see what positions are out there.

And I had full intentions to return to my school this school year to teach another year of fourth grade. And I got a call. late June about an opening for an assistant principal position. The assistant principal moved into the principal role because the principal had just got promoted within the district and there was this opening there and I'm a huge believer that everything happens for a reason and went on that interview met the most incredible team and I feel like I hit the lottery and I'm at another amazing school with a phenomenal team and I'm like been pinching myself that I get to do this job every day.

So it's been, it's been a really great transition. Don't get me wrong. It has been so challenging and it has been, um, really, really difficult, but, um, it's been really amazing too. So yeah, we're already, we've made it to, we've made it to January. So almost February. 

Lauran: That's awesome. I, I'm so happy for you that that that happened that way.

And I, I agree everything. I feel everything happens for a reason, even, you know, challenging things that happen to us. We. Can always learn and grow and be stronger because of them. Um, so I, I mean, okay, I feel like. Going into an assistant principal role as like a first time administrator is like the per it's like the sweet spot, right?

You're I mean you're administration, but you're not the top dog making all of the decisions and like the really tough choices yet Are you? 

Kyle: No, and I love this position. Like this is like The perfect role for me right now because I'm learning so much every single day, and I'm really lucky to be working under a principal who just had my job for six years.

So again, she was the assistant principal. She now serves in the principal role, so she knows the ins and outs of my position, and I'm so lucky to have a mentor like right here out the gate who knows what I'm going through every day and is able to help coach me through it because I'm also new to the district that I serve.

So, um, switching districts alone has so much that you're learning when you're, um, starting a new position, but also like learning an entire new role. But everything falls on the principal. Everything. And I don't think a lot of people realize that, like genuinely how much the principal has to handle day in and day out in every single decision just falls back on that one person.

And I feel like to be their number two, to be someone who just Also has their back and is ready to support in however they need. It's a great fit for me right now. And it presents its own challenges because for me and my experience, like the assistant principal is really handling a lot of the discipline.

Um, and the assistant principal is really like the front lines to like students. And like, that has been really cool for me. Also a question I get all the time is like, do you miss teaching? Like, do you miss being in the classroom and being with kids? Like I'm with kids. All day. Like, I have never, not with kids, like, I have meetings, don't get me wrong, but I am in recess, I am in the cafeteria, I am in classrooms, and I, I'm, it's like, it, it really has been great.

And there are parts of teaching that I miss, of course, but this, this role has been a really great transition. 

Lauran: I feel like that's the case, like that, that would be my thought of being a principal too, is like, you know, would I miss being in the classroom? Absolutely, but also, I feel like being the principal, you get that sweet spot of getting to interact with All the students in the entire school and not just your one class all day long.

So you get to have positive relationships with like hundreds of kids versus just, you know, your 25 kids in your class. Uh, now that being said, obviously, if you're the, the one who's dealing with most of the discipline, it's not always happy fun time, but you know, I mean, hopefully the discipline is not like a overwhelming aspect of the job and it's, you know, you're able to still enjoy.

Being with kids in other 

Kyle: Yeah, 100 percent and for, I feel like administrators who say like, Oh, I wish that I was with kids or I wish I was still in the classroom. Like there are a lot of ways to do that. Like, and I think we think of a lot of ineffective school leaders and a lot of ineffective administrators who are ones who are, you know, chained behind their desk all day every day.

Uh, but I feel like this new wave of admin, like this new wave of leadership really like Yeah. I hope are present and are visible and are in classrooms are with kids forming relationships because at the end of the day, like that makes everyone's job easier, right? When both teachers and leadership collectively are forming these amazing relationships with kids, like that's when this works.

And it's when there is that disconnect where we see the problems that a lot of schools are facing. 

Jordan: I was gonna say you said something there and I just really liked it. Resonate with it was, um, this new wave of administration because I remember from when I was a kid, even a little bit like at the start of your career, how like administration was just like this, like monolith thing.

It seemed like that was behind their desk and you never wanted to be in the principal's office. Like when I was in high school, it was just like it was the worst thing. You never interacted with your principals. It was like you were there for something negative. You were in trouble. There was no like, Oh, I'm going to see the principal and like get advice and stuff like this.

Right? Okay. See them as like a mentor and things like that. But like you said like this new wave of administration It's it's really cool. And it's really exciting to see and it's like, you know when like we're planning for our future it makes me excited for our kid to get into the school system because it's just like hey this person is like It's another person in their life who can just really impact them in such a positive way.

Lauran: Yeah, and I feel like a lot of lawmakers need to take that into consideration when we're thinking about all these different initiatives that are constantly being doled out and they're really Bombarding principals with, you know, having to implement all these different things instead of being able to be present in their schools and be a positive mentor or be a positive role model for teachers and for students.

And I mean, I see that at my school because I like, I teach at a very small rural district and we have two. Principals. There's a high school junior, like a junior, senior high principal and an elementary principal, and that's it. And they're in charge of everything. Behavior, uh, any initiatives that are happening, meetings, like all of it has to take place, you know, on their shoulders.

So they're constantly, you know, stuck in their offices and aren't able to make it out into classrooms as often as I'm sure they would like to. So I, I do feel like if that's. You know, if that's what we want our new wave of leadership to be, and we want administrators to be like more of an active role in education and in.

the experience of the students at the school, then we also have to think about that when rolling out all of these different initiatives. Because it does take a toll on administration as much as it does teachers. 

Kyle: A hundred percent. And like, what do What is our focus and what do we want to do well? Like, I am someone who, like, I want to do the things that I have to do at a really high level successfully before I can add more things to my plate.

And we all feel that way. I felt the same way when I was in the classroom. Like, I, like, in order to add something more, we have to take something away. And it's, like, so, So real. And I see that in this role. I see that in my teaching role. And when we just keep piling on and piling on, that is where we're seeing the burnout.

That is where we're seeing the teacher shortages. That is where we're seeing like these huge problems. Um, and we really do have to think critically about that. Um, if we want to be cultivating this education system that our kids really, truly deserve. 

Lauran: Absolutely. Uh, so you kind of brought it up, so I'm gonna go back to it.

Uh, yeah. What is something that you miss about being in the classroom? I know you kind of, you know, everyone has something small, even if you're like, I, you know, I was made to be an administrator and I, I want to do this job and I'm not, you know, I don't want to be tied down to just one group of students or one classroom.

I want to be able to impact everybody. And what's something that you absolutely don't miss at all? 

Kyle: I love it. I mean, I obviously miss how close. I got with my class. I taught fourth grade for six years and we would just be truly like a close knit family and we would have so much fun and we would drive each other insane.

But we, I mean, we, it was so incredible and you would like close out the school year and you would say goodbye. And I mean, there would be tears like no one wanted to leave and like the whole in my old in my old school fourth grade was the oldest grade in the building and then they would move on to the fifth and sixth grade building so it was like it was earth shattering it was like the last day of summer camp if you're a summer camp person like it was it was like that i miss and i don't really have that level of relationship with Really, like, many students here, I serve 500 kids, I have 80 staff, like, it's just really hard when you're stretched that thin to try to form relationships with so many people.

So, that, I definitely miss. I also miss, just like, I, I'm an over the top person. I, I'm sure you can hear that in my voice and like in the content that I've shared, but like when we would do like these like amazing like classroom transformations or like all out lessons that you just like pour your heart into and then you see the joy on kids faces because you planned that, you put that work in and then you got to see it in real time, like that's just the best.

Or when like families would be like, My kid didn't love school and they didn't like going to school, but then they're in your class and now they finally love coming to school. Like, it's like that kind of stuff. It just makes me so happy. That is like a top 

Lauran: tier compliment. Let me just say, like, if you're a parent listening to this and you truly appreciate your child's Educator, just tell them that one thing and that will be the best gift you ever give to them because telling a teacher that like a kid didn't enjoy coming to school or hated going to school or whatever, and only if that's true, you know, like, don't, don't just say that.

But like, if, if your child really did. not enjoy going to school. And then that teacher was the difference between, you know, fighting to get them to go to school in the morning. And now they're like jumping out of bed, ready to hop on the bus, let them know that will make their day. Like I've gotten that comment a couple of times and it never ceases to make me like cry.

Cause it's just like, like, Me? Like, you're talking about me? Like, okay. 

Kyle: Thank you. As a teacher, as a teacher, you expect that your kids are gonna show up every single day and they're gonna be there, right? But there's something to be said about them being excited to be there. And don't get me wrong, like, Mr.

Cohen's fourth grade class was not like every single kid, every single day. It was like, oh 

Jordan: my god, I'm so excited to be here. Oh, I'm sure mine's the same. 

Kyle: Not like that at all. But like, I do generally believe that my kids loved coming to school and that they really did love being part of our class and it was something really magical and I do believe that they, I have had students in my class who had really negative experiences with school prior to being in my class and then we were able to do that and like that level of impact because there, there are so many kids and so many families who have to.

struggle so deeply to get their kids on that bus or to get them in that car and then to drop them off in morning routines and then they get home from school and then you have homework routines and it is just absolutely torturous. But when it works, it could really be so magical. And exactly to your point, It does not take much to make a teacher happy.

Like, it is like literally that comment of like, 

Lauran: the bar is on the floor. It is so 

Kyle: low. And like, people get so, I, I, I struggle with teacher appreciation week and like that sort of thing on social media because you see these like incredible parents who are like preparing these amazing gifts for their teachers and like all this stuff.

But like the bar is so low, like just saying that you appreciate them. It means so much because from the parent perspective, like you might not be hearing so many positive things about your child and you might only get that phone call home when something bad is happening, but like the teacher is that times like 25 they're dealing with so much.

All day, every single day, and they're so rarely getting the positive. And I know feel that from a leadership position of like, I wish I had the capacity to tell my people and show them how much I genuinely appreciate them. And I'm trying to do that as much as I possibly can, but I know I'm not hitting everybody to the extent that I should.

And I know there are so many phenomenal teachers who I work with every single day who are just like mind blowingly amazing. And I do not tell them that nearly enough. So like for a, for a parent to. Tell that to a teacher. Like it just goes so far. 

Lauran: Yeah. And I mean, I feel like, cause I know you're not in education, Jordan, but I feel like that goes for like any career in general, just like, I don't think we express to each other enough how appreciative we are of our colleagues or our coworkers and like just how much of a difference it makes in your day when someone comes up to you and just says that you're doing a good job.

Theme: Oh yeah. 

Lauran: Or like that you're, you know, what you do matters, you know, because sometimes we just feel so like our jobs are so mundane or like we just feel like we're not making a difference. But when somebody like takes a minute out of their day to tell you that, 

Theme: yeah, 

Lauran: I feel like it just it makes all the difference in the world.

Jordan: And I was gonna say, at least like on. Cause I work in nonprofit and I can say on like the corporate end of it. Like I agree with that a lot because it's weird how when you hit adulthood and adult life and everything, like not that you're searching for like. Appreciations and attaboys like all day long and everything, but it almost like kind of stops because it's just expected of you to do a good job and do like these things and go above and beyond especially in like the corporate business side of the world and everything and Usually it's just like okay like You're you're only getting those like talks normally if you're doing something wrong never if you're doing something, right?

So yeah, like as an adult, you know, like I think we should just like hey like tell people like hey You're doing a good job more often just because you know I feel like it does it just becomes that just like expected norm of us just to be doing Great all the time and nobody ever appreciates your 

Lauran: boss.

I feel like you're direct boss. Yeah, does she does? I mean, I don't know I hear I hear things like when you're working from home and I like happen to have the school day Off or whatever. Yeah, like you have phone calls with her Sometimes if I can hear them like and she's like, oh Jordan, you're doing so great.

Like I'm like, I love her. She's 

Jordan: She's awesome. So I could I do have a very good boss that like does that Try and do that as much as he can. So 

Lauran: I think, okay, so last week we talked with Principal Lamb and his wife, Brenna, and I know that, like, he's kind of like a role model of yours, right? 

Kyle: Yeah, absolutely.

And like when I describe the new wave of leadership, like, I feel like he is just paving that path. Like, the content that he creates is so important, and it's like, so essential in this like, education landscape, and I'm so happy that he made the decision to pick up a camera and to start recording, because he has had such a tremendous impact on me, um, and um, on the work that I do, and I feel like it's just really, really great that like, the greater education World is seeing that work because I think for far too long, we did have this narrative of what the principal looks like and what the teacher looks like.

And national report card just came out yesterday or two days ago. And We are so behind where we should be, like, when we look at this data of fourth and eighth graders in this country, and where we were pre pandemic, where we are post pandemic, and everything that we're currently experiencing, like, the current system isn't working.

Like, what we currently are living in and working with, it's not working, and a lot has to change. But something that really excites me are leaders like him who are really, really leading the way for what I think leadership needs to look like in our schools. 

Lauran: Yeah, no, I completely agree. And like, to that point, something that like, and I'm sure I think it's like a, it's a statewide issue, if not a national issue, but chronic absenteeism, like chronic absenteeism is just killing us over here to 

Kyle: the Cleveland Browns and all their work that they're doing to combat educate 

Lauran: me.

I don't know about this. What is this? 

Kyle: Yeah. No, the Cleveland Browns have their entire like, um, foundation this year focused on school attendance and getting kids in schools. And I was like, super honored to like be part of that in like the smallest way possible. Um, and they're doing some really important work when it comes to attendance and their whole mission is called stay in the game and they're working all throughout Northeast Ohio to help kids stay in the game and like show up to school every day.

So they're doing visits with Browns players and with the team. 

Lauran: That is incredible. I love that they're focusing on app on attendance on school attendance because it seriously is. I feel like one of the major issues right now in our school, um, and, and that's the thing is sometimes like when you're, when you're talking about, like, for some of these students, like getting to, like getting them to school can be such a challenge or getting to school for themselves can be such a challenge just because of, you know, where they live or the family that they have, or, you know, whatever challenges they're, they're dealing with in their own personal lives and, Sometimes, and I'm gonna be honest about this, sometimes for me, like, as a teacher still in a classroom, it gets frustrating when you have kids that are absent for days on end, and then, like, when they show up, like, we need to be, like, celebrating that they're there, you know, like, not, you know, being like, oh, well, you're, You know, you're back, you know, we need to be like, Hey, I missed you.

Where were you? You missed 

Kyle: our testing. 

Lauran: Right. Like, no, we need, we need to make them feel like, you know, they're a part of the team and we, we miss them when they're not here. And like, that's something that I actively want to continue to try and. Make a point to do like I've been really trying hard to like when a kid shows up late to school or whatever not be like Negative about it and flip it and make it something positive instead or you know be like, oh, I'm glad you're finally here you know to to make them feel like welcome and feel like they're you know, they're Needed almost in the classroom for it to be whole so 

Kyle: in our elementary world to like Student attendance is not a student issue exactly It's so rarely falls on the child when we're talking about attendance, especially in our elementary landscape like we're talking about what that family is experiencing what the family is going through what their education looks like and the value of school also kids show up However, like, they are just, they're, they're dropped off, they're put on a bus whenever they can, like, and so these types of routines and these types of habits and the priority of school in general is like a huge education gap that we're seeing now too, um, with our kids who are chronically absent.

Lauran: Yeah. And I, like, I have all the respect in the world because I know I have students of my own that have to wake themselves up and get themselves dressed and eat breakfast themselves and get themselves on the bus to be able to attend school every day. And I. Like, I just remember eight year old Lauren getting ripped out of her bed every morning by my mother and, like, yelled at to get in the bathroom and start getting ready.

And my butt used to go back, I would go in the bathroom, and in my, in my mom's, like, in my mom's bedroom, her bathroom is like a smaller bathroom, and the heating vent was like Right there. So the, the, uh, bathroom was always very warm in the morning, so I'd literally go sit my butt on the bathroom floor and go back to sleep.

And I know my, my mom used to like get in there and start yelling at me and be like, get up. It's time to go to school, like, but like these kids are so dedicated to getting themselves up. They're like little adults and they shouldn't have to be. And it's like, it just breaks my heart that they have to be the ones that are responsible for themselves.

Getting to school, and that's, you know, that's commendable that they do that in the first place, but like, we, we need to celebrate when students come to school in general. 

Kyle: I say this all the time, but I had phenomenal teachers growing up. Like, year after year, I would have just the most amazing teachers. I also just was like a great student, like I really was like a student that teachers liked.

Um, and regardless of that though, I had two amazing parents. who like, no matter what, if I had the worst education ever, were going to do everything in their power to make sure I turned out okay. And I was super lucky that on top of that, I had this like amazing education. And so my parents were making sure that I was at school every single day.

And they were making sure that I had everything that I needed every single day. And they were so on top of my work and my home, like they, um, were driving this bus literally for me. 

Theme: Yeah. 

Kyle: And I think about how many kids that I work with every single day who have a situation that looks dramatically different.

Um, and how the most incredible teachers who are working tirelessly to do the most phenomenal work. Can only impact so much and can only touch so much for the life of a child. Um, that when we talk about this issue of attendance, there are so many underlying factors when we think about like our greater education system and our country in general, right.

Um, and what that means for kids. So. You really got me going there. 

Lauran: No, no, I, I appreciate that because that's like, I mean, that's a chronic issue across the country right now. And I feel like as a whole, not only do we need to support families and support their, like educating them to understand the importance of attending school.

Cause I, I think that, you know, even before the pandemic attendance has always been an issue. I think the pandemic. Definitely exacerbated that, but I don't think I don't think parents, the majority of parents or families, you know, are, you know, purposely not sending their kids to school. For the point of not educating them.

I think that there's just a lack of knowledge there on families ends, but because the schools are not educating families on the impact that not attending school can have on a child's education. I mean, I remember from my first year teaching. We, every open house, we would have like a parent meeting at the beginning of open house and all the parents would come into the cafeteria and the, our principal would like give a little speech and like welcome them in and everything.

And then she would straight up just drop some truth bombs on them and be like, Hey, your kid can miss maybe two days per quarter before they start falling behind academically, you know, X amount of. You know, hours or whatever. And like, that was so eyeopening to me. Cause like, even as an educator, like I never thought of it like that.

Um, cause I also grew up in a household where, you know, my parents were very on top of my education and my, like, I always had what I needed and, you know, my parents, I was very privileged to grow up in a house where my parents, um, forced me to go to school, even when I didn't want to go to school and it, you know, I.

I'm thankful for that. Um, but I think that as educators and administrators, we can do a better job of informing parents, um, and guardians of What they can do to help support their child through their education journey. You know, whether that's at home or just getting them to the building so that we can, you know, help them learn.

Um, but it's definitely an issue that, you know, is going to take time to recover from, and it's going to take time to fix, but we, we have to start looking at education as like a team sport. Like we're, we're all in this game together. We're all on the Browns team together. 

Jordan: No, not that team. 

Lauran: Listen, win or lose, we're all in education together.

Jordan: You might, for this 

Kyle: metaphor, want to pick any other team. We're going Ohio State. Let's go with the National Jazz. Okay, 

Lauran: we're all, we're all the Ohio State Buckeyes. And we all need to get to the, the championship game. I'm not a sports person, but You're doing 

Kyle: great. Thank you. You're doing great. Thank you. 

Lauran: I try.

Um, but, but we're all on the same team. And I, I think that's, you know, that's the goal of the message I'm trying to get across here. But with my very bad metaphor. Yeah. 

Jordan: I agree with you. When you look at education, like you brought up the, with the national report card, uh, cause I remember reading the article that reading, reading comprehension literacy is, it's been on a.

Downslide for years, and this isn't a new problem, but. Like you've both kind of pointed out and it's shown through the data is everything. It's such a systemic problem There's so many fires going on at once that I think this idea of a right we're gonna have to put out this massive fire What is one thing we can do right now?

that's gonna make a big impact to lead to the next fire being put out and so on and I think like Having these discussions and everything are so important because it's, it might not be, I mean, I'm, at least for my end, I'm not a, like a professional educator, so I don't know what I'm talking about, but at least, like, It sparks creativity or it sparks an idea that somebody is like, okay, it might not be this.

Let's think about it like this and that could be the idea that leads to it and everything So actually having these discussions Does so much more than I think some people give credit for so 

Lauran: yeah And going back to your like putting out multiple fires thing. I think we should just all buy that fire blanket off tiktok shop and we can just You know, when we see a fire, we just waft it open.

We're just dropping 

Jordan: blankets everywhere. Yeah, 

Lauran: we'll just throw blankets on top of it and put out the fires that way. No, um, yeah, no, I think you're right. Like, just, we, we need to talk about it more. And we need to be okay with talking about the fact that it is a broken system. And, you know, like, I think something that's really scary for teachers Um, but you know, there it's like what you said.

There are so many little fires here and there. We need to pick a focus area and, you know, have all of our efforts be towards fixing this thing and then moving on to the other fires. I think just like like Right now, at least how it feels on the educator side, there's a lot of house bills just getting slapped around here and there to try and put out fires.

Um, but they're not putting out the right fires. And so therefore it's just. You know, stopping nothing from happening. Like, I don't know how, like, okay. So you guys also, since you're in Ohio would have been impacted by house bill 33, right? Did you guys have to adopt a new curriculum this year or are you guys doing it next year?

Kyle: No, we adopted the entire district, adopted a new curriculum for this year. Um, enrolled it out for the entire district and my old district did the same for this school year. That is one of your fire blankets. Yes. Just one. 

Lauran: Yes. Hahaha. 

Kyle: The fire blanket. One 

Lauran: fire blanket. 

Kyle: A single fire blanket. Which one did you guys 

Lauran: go with?

Kyle: Into, so we have Into Reading, Into Math, HMH. 

Lauran: Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't think that was one of the ones we looked at. We got Saavis. I wish 

Kyle: I owned a phonics based curriculum. Those companies are doing great. 

Lauran: Listen, uh, the amount of money that these companies just, they Made out like a bandit in the night this year.

They are just, ugh. 

Kyle: Everyone bought in and it worked. Yes, 

Lauran: it did. I want to know how they got on the list. How'd they get on the approved list? Who did you know? 

Kyle: Who got you on that list? It's 

Lauran: like, it's like a Like a list for a club. Like you have to know, you have to know somebody. If you're 

Kyle: not on the list, you don't exist.

You are gone. I feel so sad for all of you not on the list. 

Lauran: Right. Oh, it was a rough one, guys. Like going off, going through these curriculums. Cause like, you're, you don't get a chance to like pilot any of them. It was just kind of like, okay, we like 

Kyle: flipped through them. 

Lauran: Right. It's like, Oh, this one, this looks nice.

It has all the pieces I need. Okay. How about that? 

Kyle: Because we're moving so fast all the time. It's one of the biggest challenges that I have in this profession. I mean, like, thankfully I like can tread water quickly, but like we are moving. So incredibly fast, it's not sustainable, it's not healthy, and it's not working.

Like, that is why we're seeing No, teachers have 

Lauran: to be adaptable like no other. 

Kyle: Yeah, it's, it's, it's so ineffective because we need people who are present. We need people who are like really in the moment, who are able to listen like so deeply. And then back to the point that I feel like you were getting at with your fire blankets, which I just wanted to like get on and I'm not trying to make this too deep of a podcast and I'm so sorry.

No, you're fine. Listen, no, we have, we have 

Lauran: deep episodes and then we have like Episodes that go back and forth. And we have funny, like we, this podcast is the, we are fine podcast. And it's just, we're fine. Like we'll talk about everything. You got me 

Kyle: after a day. I'm just saying, we have, we have people who are going into the field of education because they want to be a teacher and.

I think it's, like, equally important that we have people going into the field of education who want to be a teacher, who want to fix a broken system, and, like, that is an unfortunate reality, I will state that fact, like, we shouldn't have to be doing that, like, we shouldn't have a profession where we need people going into it who are, like, equipped for battle, who are, like, ready to to navigate all of these challenges that you just pointed out.

Right. But when anyone messages me, or when anyone asked me, or I had a student teacher last year, like anytime I like him afforded the opportunity to talk to an aspiring educator, I think we owe it to them to be real. Because like what we are currently experiencing is real. And we need people who get that deeply and who are ready to be part of it because who care.

And like, I find it incredibly rewarding. I find it exhausting and challenging and all of those things too. But like having the right people who are bought in and understand what they're actually getting themselves into, I think is so essential to like being able to actually function. 

Lauran: I agree. I take, I take student teachers every single year, every single, like I have, what does it call it?

A preclinical teacher last semester, um, and then she's, she's currently doing her like special ed round of student teaching right now, and then the last eight weeks of school, she comes to me for her like general ed, uh, student teaching experience. So I, I wholeheartedly agree. We need to like, we need good teachers in the field.

We really do, but we also need to be realistic with them about what they're getting into and we need them to care because if we have like, it's just. A fact of life, there are going to be teachers in every building, ones who teaching is their passion, it's the love of their life, it is what they were put on this earth to do, and they put their whole heart into everything they do.

And then we have some teachers who might not feel that way. And that's okay, but we need the teachers that care to help us with the load. Like we need them to help us carry the load because otherwise nothing is ever going to get fixed. If we don't have people that truly care about what we're doing and trying to better society and trying to, you know, raise a generation of.

Intelligent human beings who are kind and who also have the stamina and work ethic to contribute to society. And I, I just agree with that whole thing you just said. Like the, it's, it's, it's so important and it is exhausting. It is. And there are days when you are, like you said, you had a day. There are days when you just sit there and you're like, why do I do what I do?

Like, why, why am I doing this? You know, and then you have those other days where it all makes sense. Yeah. And it clicks. And just makes everything worth it. So, ugh. Ugh. I just, I feel. I feel so tired this year, just so tired, all the time, and I'm just so, I'm just, I'm tired of having to, having to fight the good fight all the time, like, it's, it's a worthy cause, but I'm tired.

Kyle: We're fine. Yeah, we're fine. 

Lauran: We're fine. Okay, before we, before we take a break and go, um, into our game, because I'm super excited for this, because I, I hope you crush Jordan in this game. Um. You want everyone to beat me. I know. Like, it's just fun for me. Oh. Yeah, it's just fun for me. Um, I want, uh, I want you to tell your story about your teacher.

Is it Mr. Ladder or Mr. Lader? 

Kyle: Mr. Lader! 

Lauran: Mr. Lader! Tell us about Mr. Lader. I'm excited. 

Kyle: I loved that you asked that question and I love that I get to share about him. No, I had, um, I was super lucky to have a teacher for three years in high school, which I feel like is super abnormal. That is! That's awesome.

Three 

Jordan: years, wow. 

Kyle: Yeah, I had him for my freshman, like, science class, and then he taught biology, and then he taught AP biology. Oh, nice. So I had him, like, freshman, sophomore, senior year, and he was also the cross country coach, and I ran cross country. So cross country was before the year started, and we would have cross country practice leading up to freshman year, and the transition to high school is, like, obviously, like, a very overwhelming moment for everyone.

And I like connected with him out the gate because he was someone who understood how to form relationships with ninth graders, kids, like whatever you want to call them, strange humans. And made, gave me the feeling of excitement of coming to high school. And it's like, like that feeling of like already knowing my teacher and already feeling like I have that relationship and someone who has my back and, uh, like that feeling that inspired me to become that person for my students.

I also never really had a male teacher in my life who played that role growing up in elementary school, never had a male teacher. Um, and then never in middle school I had some male teachers, but never connected with someone until Mr. Leader. And I think about my students now who don't have that positive male role model in their life.

Um, and. how I get to potentially be that person for them and what that means. Having that role is so important and I feel like for me, I was really lucky to have someone like that with Mr. Later, but I was also really lucky to have such a supportive family. Um, And then I got to have him again in 10th grade, and then again in 12th grade, and then it became someone who, um, wrote my, you know, recommendation letter for college, and at that time, which this is a whole nother story, I thought I was gonna go into medicine because I wanted to be a pediatrician, because I knew I loved working with kids, but then I also, like, loved watching Grey's Anatomy, so like, to me, like, pre med was my route, and I wanted to also make money, so that, my, I'm like, I don't know who I was.

But like, 

Lauran: neither did I, I feel like I 

Jordan: was going to say I went on that exact same journey when I was in, when I was in high school, I was very much like you. I was like, I, cause I did AP bio AP well, it was college in high school in our school district that I went through, but it was a college in high school, chem and bio and everything.

I did the whole, like, I'm going to do premedicine. I wanted to be an anesthesiologist so bad. That's what I was like dead set on because it was that thing where I was like, Oh, I get to help people and I get to make a lot of money and I don't. I wish a lot more, at least in my district that I grew up in, like so much more went into finding out who you were as a human, because like, it's just everything was associated with money that was like, Oh, like, what are you gonna like?

What's gonna make? Oh, the most money. Are you really smart? Like, this is like what you should do. And it was just kind of handed to you. So yeah, I that journey of The whole like, I'm going to do pre med and then going to college and then really starting to figure out who you are and being like, I don't want to do this.

I 

Lauran: know. I feel like that too. I feel like career exploration is really not. It's not done enough and like, not that I wouldn't go into education all over again, because I probably would, but I feel like when I was graduating, I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I had, like, I was the same as you. I was a good student all through school.

Like, I was, I was a goody two shoes. I had good relationships with my, with my teachers. I genuinely enjoyed going to school. And. I, I feel like I didn't know anything else. Like I didn't know what else I wanted to do with my life. Um, for a hot minute there, I, I wanted to go, um, to school to be a lawyer. And I don't know why I changed my mind, like what changed my mind about that.

But like, that's what I was planning on doing in my senior year of high school. And then I kept going back and forth. I feel like, I think it was my mom who was like, you should go be a teacher. Or you should do education or something like that. And I remember going back and job shadowing my kindergarten teacher.

Cause I had loved her name was Mrs. Schnernberger. I loved her. Um, she was so sweet. 

Kyle: We're gonna have to send this to all of our old teachers. 

Lauran: I loved her. So I job shadowed her. And then I kind of had a similar experience to you in high school. Um, so my freshman English teacher. Um, her name was Miss Folsom at the time, but now she's Mrs.

Reed. Um, she actually got me into speech and debate. 

Kyle: Oh, what event did you do? 

Lauran: Oh, did you do speech? 

Kyle: Come on. 

Lauran: Wait, okay, what year did you graduate? 

Kyle: Um, 2014. 

Lauran: Okay, so we're not that far off. I graduated in 2012. 

Kyle: Okay. 

Lauran: Did you go to 

Kyle: States together? We might 

Lauran: have. We very well might have. So, I did prose and poetry.

Jordan: Okay, I did duo. 

Lauran: Oh, I got, okay. Hold on. This is gonna, uh, guys, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna 

Kyle: get on a rail. 

Lauran: I'm so sorry. I'm gonna nerd out for a minute here. We'll 

Kyle: cut this out. It's fine. 

Lauran: No, cuz there might be other speeches out there. Okay. Did we just become best friends? Like, I 

Theme: think so. 

Lauran: I think we did. Anyway, um, but yeah, I feel the same way.

So like going back to what I was saying, I did speech and debate. And my, so my English teacher, she was the one that was like, you should try out for the team. And so I did, did speech and debate. She was English teacher also 

Kyle: coached, yep. 

Lauran: See, there it is. 

Kyle: Mm hmm. 

Lauran: She, um, she was my coach all four years. So even though I didn't have her in class for four years, I got to stay with her.

Yeah. And like get, I was mentored by her for that entire time I was in high school. And that was a, a huge deal for me also. Which I, I feel like definitely. Impacted my decision to go into education. Um, but it like having a teacher like that in your life is so important. I feel like, I feel like everybody.

I want everyone to have that experience. I know not everybody will, but I, I, my hope for every child going through our education system is that they find that one teacher that they click with and that they can build that relationship with and that impact their experience in education. So I'm, I'm glad that you had Mr.

Later in your life and I'm glad you were speechy because that just Me too. And 

Kyle: I completely agree. And I think that takes me back to like the Rita Pearson video of like every kid deserves a champion. Like every single person deserves, like every kid deserves the person who's rooting for them. And that is where I also hope to be in that like new wave of administration of like, it doesn't have to be the teacher.

It doesn't have to be like, it could be a paraprofessional. It could be someone in the cafeteria. It could be a coach. It could be like someone in that building like deserves. To be there for that kid. That kid deserves to have someone there for them. Um, because every single person needs that. 

Lauran: Absolutely.

And on that note, we're going to take a quick break and then we'll be right back with a fun little game. 

Kyle: I'm scared.

Lauran: All right, guys. So we are back. Um, yes, we nerded out over speech some more while we took a break. Um. And I, I had to go and be like, look at all my plaques from speech. She's showing me plaques. Yeah. Cause I'm, you know, I love to 

Kyle: speech. You should brush your teeth more then. 

Lauran: Really? 

Kyle: That was good. That was a good one.

That was a good 

Lauran: one. For a second. For a second, that one hurt. You don't have to 

Jordan: pretend, that was 

Lauran: And then it went, it was gonna go like this, right over my head, and then it just fell right back down on my face. And I was like, oh, okay. I'll let you two work through that later. No. And this is why I'm the game show host.

Yep. Because I want to make you do all the thinking. No. Okay, so today we are playing Are You Smarter Than AI? And in this game, we asked AI to come up with various It's academic questions from grade levels, kindergarten through 12th, uh, and we're going to go back and forth between Kyle and Jordan and see who can answer the most correct.

Jordan: Sounds good. 

Lauran: Okay. 

Jordan: Let's go. All right, 

Lauran: let's do this. Uh, so I think we should let our guest go first. I'm fine with that. All right. So. 

Kyle: So nice of you. 

Lauran: Uh huh. So Kyle, you're. Your question is a kindergarten question. 

Kyle: Okay. 

Lauran: What do you call a baby cat? A kitten? 

Kyle: Ding, ding, ding, ding! That is correct! 

Lauran: It was almost like a kitten, 

Kyle: an official term?

Okay, 

Jordan: I'm not gonna lie, my brain did the same thing. I was just like, kitten, wait. 

Kyle: Proper term for kitten. Is that right? I 

Theme: don't know! 

Lauran: Alright, so that's one point, one point for Kyle and Rob. I'm dripping 

Theme: sweat. Rob, our 

Lauran: producer, will, uh, hopefully keep track of the points for me. Um, okay, so point for Kyle.

Okay. Alright, on to the first grade level. First grade. 

Jordan: Okay. 

Lauran: What coin Is worth 25 cents. Actually,

it's a dime. Dang it. All right. One point for Jordan, I guess. 

Jordan: All right. Starting off easy. I think we're doing good. 

Lauran: Starting off, starting off smooth. Okay. Kyle, second grade. Ooh, ooh, this means if, you know, if we continue on our little pattern here, he'll get back to his fourth grade level content. Oh, I'm actually 

Kyle: having a fun time assessing if this is a proper question for that grade.

But yeah, 

Lauran: no, me too. Okay. What's the 

Kyle: standard in that question? Right. 

Lauran: I'm glad I'm not the only one that's like thinking about that. Okay. So second grade. I'm ready for my 

Kyle: phonics. All right. Yes. Okay. 

Lauran: What season comes after summer? 

Kyle: Oh, um, I'm gonna go with autumn. Fall? Ding, 

Lauran: ding, ding! Ooh, and he even gave us two answers.

I don't know 

Kyle: if that's the proper term. He gave us 

Lauran: synonyms. Okay, so we're tied so far, but I feel like maybe that will go away when we get into the upper grade levels. At least I'm hoping. Otherwise, we have to do a tiebreaker of some sort. Oh, 

Jordan: no. 

Lauran: Okay, Jordan. ask 

Jordan: AI. 

Lauran: We'll have to ask AI. Third grade level.

Jordan: Third grade. Let's do it. 

Lauran: What is seven times eight? 

Jordan: Seven times eight, uh, would be, oh man. 

Lauran: Do you forget your times tables? I forget my 

Jordan: times tables. Hold on. You 

Lauran: forget your quick facts. I do forget my quick facts. 

Kyle: It's so funny that I just live in my multiplication facts. I need a calculator. 

Lauran: Oh god. Right now, so right now my students are learning standard algorithm for like double digit multiplication and long division.

And so right now like they're really into challenging me. And my co teacher, so when they're waiting for the buses at the end of the day, they'll be like, I I challenge you Mrs. Wooley, and then we'll do like, uh, a standard algorithm problem on the board. And I always smoke them because they're just learning, but they find it so funny, so like, I'll do the problem really, really fast, and like, beat them, and then I just go, Thank you for playing, and then I walk away.

Kyle: Is it 54? 

Lauran: But they get, I mean, they get it right, they just need extra time. 

Kyle: 54? It's not. 

Lauran: Ehhh, that's incorrect. Do you really not know seven times eight? 

Kyle: Do I get to steal? 

Like a calculator. I get that. 

Lauran: Yeah, you do get to steal. 56. 56. 

Jordan: Okay. So close. Two 

Lauran: off. So 

close. We would do, 

Kyle: um, for long division, we would do, for fourth grade, it was multi digit by one digit, and we would do whoever could solve the longest multi digit by one digit problem would like win, and we would get to the point where it would be like 50, 60, 70, 80 numbers long by a one digit number.

Oh my gosh. And they would be like, Taping pieces of paper together because you couldn't physically fit it on one page and we had a student last year, biggest one ever in like my six years, who had multiple poster boards like taped together like CVS poster boards and it took us like an entire recess period to check the work.

Lauran: This is amazing. Oh my god. I, okay. That is dedication on the part of that student, but 

Kyle: their entire family. It was a whole effort. I give it to them. They won It was great. Congratulations. 

Lauran: I can't imagine how long that would have taken. 

Kyle: Yeah. Oh, they worked on it for a long time. 

Lauran: Jeez Louise Okay, so I think that is one two three points to Kyle right now to Jordan's One point.

No. Oof. Oof. In the, in the 

Jordan: elementary grades, Jordan. I don't remember my multiplication quick facts. It's why I have a calculator. Like. Shame, shame. You can shame me all you want. 

Lauran: No, I'm teasing you. Okay. Kyle, fourth grade. What is the capital of California? This is a, I feel like I would not have gotten this correct.

Kyle: Hmm. It's Sacramento. Dang it! Ding, 

Lauran: ding, ding! You're correct! You got it! I, I don't know that I would have gotten that right, because I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, I don't know that I know all of my state capitals by memory. 

Kyle: Yeah. 

Lauran: I don't, I don't think I do. 

Kyle: Which was not a, I don't think, it was not a fourth grade standard.

Lauran: I don't believe that it is. I, yeah, it's not a fifth grade standard. 

Kyle: We had to learn that for, like, a year. A like I was in a P. U. S. Like we had to know that for that. See, I feel 

Lauran: like I remember learning it in elementary school at some point, like I remember learning the state capitals at some point, but not I don't remember what grade level, but I know for a fact it's not in fifth grade.

Jill from HelloFifth, do you follow Jill on 

Kyle: Instagram? She does like, all the state stuff. So like, she does tons for fifth grade. 

Lauran: I follow her religiously on, like just, and I use a lot of her resources. 

Kyle: She's the queen. 

Lauran: She is the queen. I don't know how she fits everything that she fits into her day. Her and Fancy Nancy.

They both blow me out of the water. I don't know. I 

Kyle: could talk about the 

two of them for so long. Also, Jill is so amazing because like, I tune into her stories, like a TV show. Yeah! Like, I learn, I have learned more from that woman's Instagram stories than I did in any PD I've ever taken. I just love 

Lauran: her.

Good morning, friends. Yeah. 

Kyle: And she's literally holding her phone up against her diet Coke can. And it's just like, it's so relatable 

Lauran: because I put my phone up against my Stanley cup. 

Kyle: It falls down. I can't do that. 

Lauran: It did. Depends on the phone case. Anyway. All right. So that is now Kyle. Four points. One, two, three, four points.

Okay. Okay. To your one point. Now starts the comeback. Okay. 

Jordan: Okay. 

Kyle: Well, now I'm out of my wheelhouse. So good luck. 

Lauran: Fifth grade, what is the longest river in the world? 

Jordan: It's the Nile, right? 

Lauran: That is correct. Okay, good job. The 

Jordan: Amazon's the widest. 

Lauran: Yes, and in the Nile, at least I think so, and then the Nile is the longest.

Yes. 

Theme: Yes. 

Lauran: Yes. Okay, so that's two points. Two! You could say 

Jordan: that I'm in Denial for losing. 

Lauran: Oh my god, get out of here. Alright Kyle, 6th grade level. I feel like this is not a 6th grade question. Who invented the light bulb? 

Kyle: I don't think so either. 

Lauran: This is not a 6th grade. Thomas 

Kyle: Edison? 

Lauran: Thomas Edison is correct.

I feel like that is more of like a 3rd or 4th grade question. 

Jordan: I also think he technically stole it, too. Yeah, he 

Kyle: did not invent it. Yeah, there's like, there's history there. Yeah, there's a lot of history there. Didn't he invent, like, the filament? There was, like, something he invented. Yeah, the filament for the incandescent light 

Jordan: bulb.

And then he, I don't want to say, also, it wasn't him. He had a company, and then he took credit for other people's work, so. Sounds about right. That's a whole thing. An 

Kyle: entrepreneur. 

Jordan: Yes! He was an entrepreneur for the lightbulb. 

Lauran: Oh, oh good old Thomas Edison. Alright. 

Jordan: Just also, speaking of, um, the Topsy episode of 

Lauran: Bob's Burgers.

Oh my gosh, do you watch Bob's Burgers? 

Kyle: No, I don't. 

Lauran: If, well, if you 

Kyle: Our first thing we don't have in common. 

Lauran: Okay. It's okay. You don't have to, but if you want to watch a funny show, Bob's Burgers is really funny and there's an episode where they spill the tea about Thomas Edison and it's called He killed an elephant!

Yeah! He electrocuted an elephant! Uh, but he Um, it was the elephant's name was topsy. Yeah. Yeah, and it's it's all about that and it's like a musical so it's funny Um, but yeah, okay. So seventh grade On to you jordan. 

Theme: Okay 

Lauran: What this is also not a seventh grade question ai what are you doing? This is a fifth grade question 

Theme: Okay, 

Lauran: what is the process by which plants make their own food 

Jordan: photosynthesis?

Lauran: Correct. Okay. I just taught this I just taught this in our ecosystems unit about producers. Ugh. Seventh grade. All right. Eighth grade level. Kyle, what does DNA stand for? 

Kyle: Oh, uh. You got this. 

Lauran: You got this. I believe in you. 

Kyle: It's something nucleic acid. 

Lauran: Yes. 

Kyle: Ugh. Oh, 

Lauran: you're so close. 

Kyle: It's like doxi, deox, deoxi, nucleic acid.

Lauran: Oh, you're so close! Half a 

Kyle: point? 

Lauran: I give, I give a half a point for that. I give a half a point. How 

Kyle: do you say it? Well, 

Lauran: hold on. Since I let you, I let you steal the one question. I guess I'll let Jordan steal. Because 

Jordan: I, I'm at like deoxy, deoxide. You don't know either? I know it's like dye, something. You guys are both really close.

Lauran: Okay, it's deoxyribonucleic acid. 

Kyle: Yeah, I, yeah, I was really confident of nucleic acid. Yeah, 

Lauran: nucleic, yeah, it's the ribo, like that's, yeah, deoxyribo. 

Kyle: It should be dRNA. It should. It's too long of a word to just warrant one letter. 

Lauran: I agree. I agree. We should call the science people and tell them to change it.

Okay, Jordan. 

Kyle: Yo, Einstein. Yo, 

Lauran: science people. Change this to DRNA. And 

Kyle: pay teachers more. Yeah, 

Lauran: pay us more. We teach your, we teach your information.

Ninth grade. How many bones are in the adult human body? 

Jordan: Oh, shoot. Let's go. Where are those 

Lauran: biology skills? Pre med fun fact. I don't know if you've talked about this before but Jordan, uh, once upon a time was pre med 

Jordan: There was a time when I could name them all too. That was you could 

Lauran: name 206 bones 

Jordan: Hey, thanks, 260.

Lauran: She just 

Jordan: gave me the 

Theme: answer! 

Lauran: You didn't want to play host! I didn't mean to do that! Who gets the point? Me! I get the point! We're fine! 

Kyle: It's a good 

Lauran: thing, 

Jordan: because I was gonna guess I, for some reason I had in my mind 235. I was gonna say 

Lauran: 210. 

Jordan: Sorry, I didn't mean to 

Lauran: just give away See, this is why I don't host a real game show.

Jordan: But no, there was a ti Uh, it was a part of like Could you really 

Lauran: list 206 bones? We 

Jordan: had to for Okay, so, um I think I only know like six. My first major after pre med was nursing, and one of my It was like anatomy of nursing and everything. For our final, we had to name Every single, it was a test of about like a hundred questions and they had different bones just laying out on a table and then certain harder ones like your hands, like, because there's a ton of bones in your hands and feet, it would just be like labeled with like a sticky thing, like, which bone is this?

So yeah, there was a time when I used to be able to name 206 bones. I 

Lauran: feel like I only know a handful and it's because of that one Hannah Montana episode 

Kyle: where she sang 

Lauran: the bone song. We're doing the bone dance, we study the answers, 

Jordan: again and 

Lauran: again till we get it 

Jordan: right. I think I should get that, that pity point though, cause I, gotcha.

Lauran: Uh, fine. I'll give you the point, but I have the half 

Kyle: point. 

Lauran: Yeah, you can have the half. I literally, I can't believe I did that. I was just so shocked that you could name all of them. You can name all 

Kyle: 206? Really? I'm 

Lauran: sorry. Oh, I failed. Okay. 

Kyle: Read the question and give me my answer. 

Lauran: Okay. 10th grade. What is the largest organ in the human body?

I feel like we're heavy on the science questions today. 

Jordan: I like it though. 

Lauran: Last time we were heavy on the history and government questions. 

Kyle: We were. Is skin an organ? 

Lauran: Is that your answer? 

Kyle: Yes. 

Lauran: Dang it! Dang it! I thought I was gonna get a chance to steal! No, it is the skin. Your skin is an organ. Yes. 

Jordan: Yeah. 

Lauran: Yeah.

Uh, okay. Jordan. 

Jordan: That's a funny word. Epidermis. 

Lauran: Epidermis. 

Jordan: I've 

Kyle: lost it. 

Lauran: Oh my gosh. That's the point of the day that it is. Alright. Eleventh grade. Bedtime. It is bedtime. What is a Shakespearean sonnet's rhyme scheme? 

Jordan: Oh, okay. Now I'm There's 

Lauran: no I'm just gonna tell you right now, there's no way, unless you just recently studied Shakespearean sonnets that you memorized this rhyme scheme.

Absolutely. I, 

Jordan: okay. As a, as a 

Lauran: literate, literature connoisseur, there's no way I would have known this or remembered it. Is 

Jordan: the answer like an A, B, B, C, E, 

Lauran: B, C? That's how you, yeah, that's rhyme scheme. Okay. So that's 

Jordan: what the rhyme scheme is supposed to be. Okay. That, that is rhyme scheme. We're, we're narrowing down the answer pool here.

So I'm just going to. Letters. Yes. 

Lauran: Letters. It is letters. English 

Jordan: letters. 

Lauran: It is alphabet letters. 

Jordan: Is it a a 

Kyle: a? 

Lauran: Dang it. All right, for the steal. 

Kyle: No. 

Lauran: Just straight no. 

Kyle: I also know it's letters. 

Lauran: I teach rhyme scheme. Alphabet 

Kyle: letters. Yeah, I definitely have taught rhyme scheme. Just not 

Lauran: Shakespearean sonnets. Uh, yeah.

Okay, you ready for this one? 

Jordan: Okay, what is it? 

Lauran: Uh, the rhyme scheme of a Shakespearean sonnet. Is this 

Jordan: like all his sonnets? 

Lauran: Well, that would be yes. Like, a sonnet is a type of poem. 

Jordan: Yeah, but I'm saying, it's saying a Shakespearean sonnet. Like, this man just didn't feel the need to change up his pattern. He was just like, ah, we're just gonna do them all this way.

Lauran: All the sonnets, apparently, yeah. 

Jordan: What a loser. Boring! God. 

Lauran: We stood in front of this man's grave. Well, no, not his grave, but like a memorial. His 

Jordan: plays? Historic. His sonnets? Ugh! 

Lauran: I like his sonnets. Okay, the rhyme scheme is A, B, A, B, C, D, C, D, E, F, E, F, G, G. Like I said, there's no way. 

Jordan: How is this? I assumed it was gonna be like the four line stanza and that was like, okay.

Nope. Who's gonna repeat? It's, 

Lauran: I'm assuming, yeah, cause each of those would be their own stanza, I'm assuming. Or, you know, they might not be. I don't, it's been a minute since I've read a sonnet, so. Well, there it is. There's the rhyme scheme. 

Jordan: At first I was going to say, Iambicpantameter, I was like, wait, that's a Shakespeare 

Lauran: word, right?

Yeah. Iambicpantameter. Mm 

Jordan: hmm. 

Lauran: Yep. That is in fact a Shakespeare word. Alright, for all the marbles, 12th grade, what is the difference between mitosis and meiosis? It's about 

Kyle: like, 

it's biology, chromosomes, and like, like breaking down cells. Yeah, I, I don't know the difference. 

Lauran: Okay, okay, we were, we were in the right wheelhouse, at least.

Kyle: Like, I'm in the right genre of school. 

Lauran: We are, we are in the right genre of school. Okay, Steel? 

Jordan: I'm trying to remember if it's when a cell replicates. If it's the nucleus splits in half for mitosis before the cell breaks apart, and then if the cell, the, the nucleus splits. Nucleus. Nucleus. Nucleus. 

Kyle: Is it one splits in two and then one splits in four?

Yeah. We just helped each other. We did. We got there. We 

Lauran: got there. So you each get a half a point? Yay! Okay, I'll do that. I think it's impressive that you even remembered the numbers that are related to it. Well, I'm saying one splits in half and then 

Kyle: one splits in half again. Yeah. 

Lauran: Nope. Uh, I don't recall.

Well, no, no, you're right. I'm just saying. I'm saying I. Would have been like, nope, I don't know. 

Kyle: It all goes back to Mr. Later. There you go. See, those 

Lauran: bio lessons. Uh, mitosis results in two identical cells. Yes. Meiosis results in four genetically different cells. I, I don't, I remember learning about that.

Don't remember it at all. Nor did I ever need to. 

Kyle: Twelfth graders consume so much knowledge that like, in that period of life, only exists in your brain for that period of life. Yes. Like, I think about how like, I did calculus at one point in time successfully. 

Lauran: Couldn't 

Kyle: be me. Yes. Like, I don't know who that version of myself was.

Jordan: I was going to say that four year span of like, Senior year of high school to like college, the smartest I've ever been, I have lost so much knowledge since then just because like not doing it anymore. Yeah, it's like that kind of stuff, 

Kyle: but then like my capacity in other areas is like just wildly great.

I don't know, it's just so weird. 

Lauran: Right, like okay, I always feel, I feel so dumb when it comes to like certain random knowledge and like random facts about things, like that. Like, the names of bones in my body. I don't, I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I know maybe five of them. Uh. Or, or like, meiosis versus mitosis.

I don't teach that, so I don't know it. 

Theme: Yeah. 

Lauran: Like, but my students will ask me certain things about other things, and I'm like, yes, and they're like, you're so smart. I'm like, nope, I just know some things. But, our winner is Kyle! With a whopping seven points! And Jordan. With four. 

Kyle: Hey. Shout out to 7x8. Really took me to the promised land.

It 

Lauran: did. It saved you. I locked 

Kyle: up. 

Lauran: It broke you. 

Kyle: It breaks a lot of third graders. It's okay Jordan. You're not alone. I was gonna 

Jordan: say, I feel like it breaks, like, a lot of people because I just rely on a calculator for so much anymore. our 

Kyle: 8s are so hard. So hard. 

Lauran: They are. 9s facts? 9s facts. Easy peasy. Did you know there's a trick you can use for nines facts?

Jordan: What is the trick? I feel like I might be enlightened. 

Lauran: So, so when you are doing, like, give me a random nines fact. 

Kyle: Oh, it's so good. 

Jordan: Nine. It's great. It's amazing. Only, like, only a teacher would know this. Right? Like single digit? Yeah. Okay. Uh, nine times three. 

Lauran: Okay. So you hold out your hands. 

Jordan: Okay. 

Lauran: Okay. And then you would have nine fingers, so like nine times three, one, two, three, drop down that finger, twenty seven.

Oh, that's cool. Or like, nine, I don't know, nine times six, one, two, three, four, five, six, drop that finger, fifty four. That is so cool. we 

Kyle: don't have a trick for eight times seven. You just gotta know it. Yeah, you just gotta know that one. You just gotta know that one. 

Lauran: See, for me, I, I try to teach, like, related facts, so like, okay, if you know seven times seven is forty nine, Yeah.

One more group of seven added on, count it up. Some kids 

Kyle: don't remember five, six, seven, eight, like, seven times eight, and then five, six, Oh, I, I didn't know that one. Yeah. 

Lauran: Alrighty. Well, thank you for once again crushing my husband in, uh, Are You Smarter Than A. I.? 

Jordan: I think I'm on a losing streak here. 

Lauran: I, listen, you know, we have to let our guests win because they're guests.

Jordan: They are guests. They are guests. They 

Lauran: are, they are guests. Uh, well, thank you so much for hanging out with us. I know that you probably are like, I want to get the heck out of my school and go home. I appreciate you hanging out with us. Um, before you go, where can people find you and do you have any, anything special, any projects or anything you're working on that you want to share?

Kyle: Oh, that's so sweet. It's more like, how could people avoid me? I, I would, I, Mr. Kyle Cohen in all the places, um, No, not everything's exciting. No, nothing in particular. It's all exciting every day. It's just thrilling. But this was so much fun. I really appreciate you all having me on, and getting to connect with Cleveland educators next time in person.

Lauran: Yes. Yes. We need to definitely, uh, go get dinner or something. 

Kyle: Yeah. We'll talk speech and debate. 

Lauran: Love of my life. . Alright, well thank you. And go enjoy the rest of your evening before you have to be back there in 12 hours. 

Kyle: I wish I had an air mattress. , 

Lauran: you're like I would just stay here. We will be right back.

Is that you we're back. Okay. I was like, is that you bringing us back? Yes. I enjoyed that. A shark 

Jordan: attack. 

Lauran: I enjoy. Wait, that was a shark attack? 

Jordan: Yeah, it was a how do I, an IP friendly Jaws theme song, . 

Lauran: Oh, okay. Bum bum buh nuh. 

Jordan: Bum bum buh nuh. 

Lauran: Bum bum buh Okay. Buh nuh nuh. Uh, anywho, I That was the first one.

The first one! You still 

Jordan: said it! It's the 

Lauran: first one. 

Jordan: Oh wait, but what if you say one Now you I'm gonna lift the veil. We filmed this part before we filmed the intro, so you saying this is the first one could be a lie. 

Lauran: Oh, it could. I hope it's not. So you better not say it! I will make it my job. 

Jordan: You will make it your job.

Lauran: To not say it again. 

Jordan: Wow. You know what else would be really interesting with that? 

Lauran: What? 

Jordan: Special bond. 

Lauran: It would be. 

Jordan: Yeah. 

Lauran: Let's get into it. Okay. 

Jordan: That hurt you, didn't it? 

Lauran: A little bit. It hurts not to transition with that word. I don't know why. I need to come up with a different one or I need to make that a t shirt and just wear it.

Jordan: I just like the t shirt and wear it idea. Okay, I'll just do that. 

Lauran: I'll make it a t shirt. Anyone else want one? I'll just make us all a group order. So let me know. Okay, so this week's special bond. I was gonna 

Jordan: say if you want a t shirt made put a little owl In the chat, if we have an army of owls. 

Lauran: Ooh, yeah.

Jordan: The way you're saying ooh just sounds like an owl hooting. Ooh! That 

Lauran: the owl sounds? Ooh, yeah! 

Jordan: Oh my god, guys. My friend has a theory. 

Lauran: No, 

Jordan: that Lauren, it's a made up theory, but we're going to, we're making it a real conspiracy theory. Lauren is a bird person. She always says any who her high school mascot college mascot twice was a bird.

Lauran: That's not my fault. And she 

Jordan: makes bird noises. 

Lauran: I, okay. 

Jordan: Mm hmm. 

Lauran: I don't 

Jordan: consistently make random 

Lauran: bird noises. Yes, 

Jordan: you do. You 

Lauran: act like I walk around our house and just go like, Ah! 

Jordan: What is, what is one of your most viral videos of you doing? Fifth grade. 

Lauran: Calling, calling my students into recess. Caw 

Jordan: caw. Caw 

Lauran: caw.

Jordan: There is more evidence that I know what to do with of you being a bird person. 

Lauran: Okay, I feel like I need to make this a video now. 

Jordan: Yes. 

Lauran: And debunk the bird person rumors. No, 

Jordan: I'm going to make, I'm going to be like Charlie Day. I'm going to have tons of papers, pins, strings everywhere about how you are 

Lauran: bird person.

Alright, getting into this week's special bond. 

Jordan: Lauren Woolley Bird Person 2025 watch. If I get a hundred eagles, 

Lauran: if you get a hundred eagles in the chat, you get a hundred eagles in the comments. I will dress up like a bird. 

Jordan: Come on. I think that's doable. 

Lauran: Good luck. Okay. Our special VOD for this week comes from Rebecca.

She said, my music teacher slash vocal teacher from high school is my biggest inspiration. He poured so much love, support, and wisdom over my life. In high school, I had a ton of family problems going on, such as my brother going to jail, my birth dad being manipulative, and me falling for it every time.

And every time my dad broke my heart, my music teacher was still there for me. And then, my senior year, two months before I graduated, I finally told him off and cut off our relationship. And I feel so free. I wouldn't have been able to do it without my music teacher. The amount of mental and emotional abuse I was put through, I don't know if I would still be here.

Oof. Yeah. Rebecca. Well, I'm glad you're still here, for one thing. Um, and I'm so sorry for all the family drama that you had to endure, all the mental and emotional abuse that you've had to endure, um, that's never easy. And that just is a testament to how strong you are as a person, um, being able to, to pull through and free yourself from that.

And having a teacher that was able to be that support system for you and be able to provide you with so much, like, love and safe space is, Just invaluable. So, I, my heart goes out to you, Rebecca. I hope you're doing well. Um, and thank you for sharing that about your, your teacher. 

Jordan: Yeah. 

Lauran: Anything you want to say?

Jordan: Um, no, that's just. 

Lauran: I kind of said it all. I'm sorry. Yeah, you kind of stole words. That hit me right in the heart. I'm sorry. Okay. So, on that note, if you would like to also share your special bond, we would love to hear it. You can send it to us at hello at wearefinepod. com or you can DM our human content podcast family over on Instagram at human content pods and send them that story and we would love to share it on the show and include you.

So please, please share your special bonds with us. We would love to hear them. 

Jordan: Also, we would like to know how the show's doing, and you can do that a couple different ways. Come chat with us and our family on our Instagram, Lauren's Instagram over there, or the Human Content Pod's Instagram page and TikTok page.

Because it's still alive. For now. Not dead yet. 

Lauran: For now. 

Jordan: Or you can contact them directly at hello at we are fine pod. com 

Lauran: love that. Hello. We're fine. 

Jordan: Hello. 

Lauran: That's I feel like I just, I'm going to greet everyone like that from now on. Hello. We're fine. I'm fine. 

Jordan: Hello. We're fine. 

Lauran: And thank you guys to those of you who have been, you know, listening to every episode of the podcast We really appreciate you guys listening or watching on YouTube If you're new here, welcome.

We're so excited to have you and please continue on On this weird and exciting journey that we are on. 

Jordan: I think weird's an understatement. 

Lauran: Uh, yeah, but you know, that's the word I'm gonna go with for today. And if you have listened to the episodes, but maybe you want to watch them, you can do so over on my YouTube channel, Mrs.

Wooly in 5th. 

Jordan: There might even be an episode of me hidden in there somewhere, dressed as a pineapple. 

Lauran: It's pretty entertaining and honestly, one of my favorite episodes. Um, so yeah. Go find it. It's great. Uh, thanks for listening. We're your hosts, Lauren and Jordan Woolley. 

Jordan: And a huge special thanks to our guest, Kyle Cohen, and you can find him at, at Mr.

Kyle Cohen. 

Lauran: Yeah. All right. Our executive producers are Lauren and Jordan Woolley. What? I, 

Jordan: I just said your name. 

Lauran: That felt like a Twilight Zone moment, cause like I heard myself saying it, and then I heard like a mumbling in the background, and I was like, what? Did it sound like 

Jordan: an angelic voice calling your name for a waiting room?

It did, and then it 

Lauran: looked, no, but then I looked at you, and it, I didn't think you said anything, so I was like, what? Huh? 

Jordan: It's the rapture! I was so confused! I'm going to heaven now! 

Lauran: Goodbye! 

Bye, goodbye 

Jordan: everybody! 

Lauran: But when will I see you again? Oh, never! All right. Oh my gosh. Okay. Who are the executive 

Jordan: producers, Lauren?

Lauran: Uh, I'm, uh, it's me, Lauren, having an existential crisis, uh, and Jordan Woolley. Aaron, Courtney, Rob Goldman, and Shanti Brooke. Our editor is 

Jordan: Andrew Sims. 

Lauran: Our engineer is Jason Portizzo. 

Jordan: And our music is by Omer Benzvi. 

Lauran: Woo! To learn about our program disclaimer and ethics policy and submission, verification, and licensing terms.

That's a lot 

Jordan: of words. It 

Lauran: is. Go to we are fine pod. com or reach out to us at hello at we are fine pod. com with any questions or concerns. 

Jordan: I never get to read this. You don't. We switched it up this week. So this pro product 

Lauran: and that's why you never get to 

Jordan: see. There's a reason. 

Lauran: Just kidding. 

Jordan: This podcast discusses sensitive and challenging topics including mental health and personal struggle.

If you're in crisis or need someone to talk to, please reach out to the Suicide Hotline at 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You are not alone. 

Lauran: We Are Fine is a human content production.

Jordan: Hey you! I love that shirt you're wearing. And you know what would go great with that shirt? What? A nice big virtual hug. And you can get that by hitting some of these buttons down here. Subscribe, like, comment, we'll give you a big ol virtual hug. 

Lauran: Thank you so much for listening and we will see you guys next Wednesday.

Bye! Bye!