Past To The Future: Nevada Legalizes Gambling (1931) with Gaspare Randazzo

Gaspare: And it wasn't the best pizza I've ever had in my life. I was going to say, it better be amazing pizza. Oh no, that's the worst thing. It was okay. It was just pizza. That's even worse. Ugh. All right. Sorry. Let's, let's see if Jordan dies. Come on.

Lauran: Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of We Are Fine. Uh, I'm excited because not only are we playing one of our new games tonight, but we have the amazing Gaspar Randazzo, who is hilarious. If you haven't seen his stuff on the internet, I Highly, highly recommend checking it out. You will be laughing and peeing your pants.

Um, but for those of our, of our listeners that might not know you just yet, can you tell them a little bit about yourself? 

Gaspare: Well, so first of all, uh, Hey, I'm Gaspar. I want to say, I love this whole ambiance of you sitting here with the blanket. I feel like I'm at my grandma's house. Um, yeah, 

Lauran: that's, I've described it as that before.

Actually, I'm sorry. I'm always 

Gaspare: cold. No, my, listen, my wife's the same way. She's upstairs in a blanket. So I'm with it. So, uh, my name is Gaspar. I am a teacher still. I've been teaching for 13 years. I teach high school. I am also a standup comedian. I've been traveling the country for the last like three years on.

Every other weekend, pretty much for three straight years and then landing back in the classroom on Monday mornings and it's miserable. So, um, and I make stuff online, I guess. So, hey, how's it going? 

Lauran: Awesome. And you guys just had like a really awesome live show with Andrea and Philip Lindsay, right? 

Gaspare: I did.

Well, so I, I do stand up on my own for years, but this weekend, me, Andrea Forkham, um, educator, Andrea, unfortunate last name for her and Philip Lindsay, uh, Mr. Something Philip. I don't know his Instagram. I don't, I don't know his, his tag either. Mr. Philip. Uh, we did like a, almost like a live podcast, I would describe it as where we just kind of went on stage and hung out.

It really ended up being me just making fun of the two of them, but it was fun. We had a good time. You know, we just talked and. Yeah, it was a good time. I love that. So, we got some more of that coming up too, so stay tuned. 

Lauran: Yeah, you guys need to come over somewhere in Ohio so I can come see you guys. Where are you guys?

You're in? We live about an hour outside of Cleveland. 

Gaspare: Okay. I love Cleveland. 

Lauran: Oh. Yeah. I mean that one 

Gaspare: block of it. Yeah.

Any shows, any shows coming 

Lauran: there? 

Gaspare: Uh, I don't know. We'll see what happens. I, I was just there. That sounds like 

Lauran: a, that sounds like a maybe. We'll see. I don't I I I It doesn't sound like a 

Gaspare: no. Well, I was just there in the summer. I was, so I did Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati, and yeah, Cleveland was cool. I, I, do you guys like go to Cleveland for fun?

Is that like a place people go? 

Lauran: So oddly enough, like, so where we live in Ohio, we're an hour outside Cleveland, but an hour outside Pittsburgh. And we actually go to Pittsburgh more than Cleveland. 

Theme: Yeah. 

Lauran: Yeah, it's like, it's pretty divided in our area. Like, my brother is like a Clevelander, so he'll, he and his friends, like, they literally have tickets to the Browns, they go there all the time.

But, like, I don't remember the last time I was in Cleveland just for fun. Like, not to go to the airport or, like, 

Gaspare: Yeah, I'm struggling, even, you know, even people who go to Cleveland for fun, can't remember the last time they were here for fun. 

Lauran: Exactly. We just go there and it's a blur. Yeah You know 

Gaspare: what it's so it's a different world I did cleveland then I drove to columbus then I drove to cincinnati It's, you know, first of all, it's just like roads and roads of like nothing, which is like so wild to me.

Cause like I'm in New York city, you know? So it's like a whole different world. Also like the airport in Columbus. It was like, I was the only person there. I thought like. I thought I was gonna have to fly the plane home. Oh my god. Why? I turned the lights on in the airport. I was like, hello? When I was trying to go home.

Lauran: The funniest, the funniest, that happened to us once. We were coming home from, like, Disney, and we flew out of Pittsburgh, but then, like, the cheaper flight we got home was into La Trobe, which, It looked like, I was like, oh, it's just on the other side of Pittsburgh, so my brother was gonna come and pick us up at La Trobe.

When I tell you, like, I thought we landed at the wrong airport, like, the airport was one gate. We got off the plane and had to walk into the airport and there was like, the security line was one metal detector and there was not a single security guard in sight. Yeah, it's wild. 

Jordan: It was, it was, yeah. It was a, an honor system.

Yeah. Security checkin it. It's very nervous that you could fly that airport into other, like larger airports. . Yeah. So I, please don't tell anyone,

Lauran: but yeah, air airports in, in Ohio are definitely way different than like LaGuardia or what is it? JFK, 

Gaspare: JFK, Newark, and the lady was like, I was renting a car and she's like, right now you're up for the whatever midsize car and it's 42 a day. And she's like, or for 48, we could give you a new Mustang. And I'm like, Yes, we're going to do that.

I was like, that's a 6 difference for a way cooler car. And, uh, it's just like, not even like I, it was crazy. And I was like, this is only because of Ohio. Like it can't be, this isn't real. It's not, 

Lauran: Ohio cities are not like, you know, these other cooler cities like New York and Las Vegas, which actually brings us to the game that we're going to play today.

So we have this fun game, um, called Past to the Future. And essentially we put in the date of the episode that, um, the day that this will air and it gives us different events that happened in history and we had our producers pick one. And so the event that we're going to play the game on today is, um, Nevada legalizing gambling in 1931.

Um, so what's going to happen is. There are going to be character choices, and you and Jordan are both going to pick which character you guys want to be. And throughout this, like, choose your own adventure style history game, I'm gonna narrate all the different things that are happening, and you guys get to, like, be as chaotic as you want, and we'll see what happens to this event in history by the end of it.

Yeah, so last time we played it We did, um, the Voyager 1, like Yeah, Voyager 

Jordan: 1 to Jupiter. 

Lauran: Yeah, passing Jupiter, and in real life, it Took a picture of like Jupiter's moons and then came back or or kept going or whatever But in our version it actually went on to the moons and flew into a volcano and went through the lava tubes and found an alien Civilization so like, you know chaos can ensue so I'm ready for this if you guys are yeah.

All right. I'm 

Gaspare: ready Let's do it a Great Depression 

Lauran: Especially in Nevada when they're gonna legalize gambling. Yeah big fan Okay So welcome Jordan and Gaspar to 1931 Nevada. With gambling now legal, fortunes will be won. Laws will be bent and history is yours to shape. So you guys have to choose your characters and here are your options.

So if you want to be a male character, we have William Fisk Harrah, a young entrepreneur with big casino dreams. Who would later found Harrah's Entertainment, which is like the Harrah's Casino where Donny Osmond played and all that, yeah. Uh, or you could be Bugsy Siegel, a gangster with a vision of turning Vegas into a gambling empire.

Female options, we have Clara Bow, a famous Hollywood actress and gambler known for her wild, high rolling nights. Florence Poncho Barnes, a fearless aviator and high stakes gambler taking risks both in the air and at the tables, or the wild card choice, which is a small time card dealer, just a regular guy trying to survive in this new unpredictable world of gambling.

Gaspare: I'll be the wild card. 

Lauran: Okay. That's a good choice. I 

Gaspare: feel like it's too easy for me to go like the mobster guy. Cause like, that's like. My New York life. Yeah, not me personally, but like people that I walk past in the streets and You know, I don't want to be owning no Harrah's Too much responsibility. I don't even want to be in charge of a classroom 

Lauran: Okay, Jordan, who do you want to be uh, who's that first female character Clara Boe?

Jordan: Clara Boe, yeah! A famous 

Lauran: Hollywood actress? 

Jordan: Yeah, big, big gambler. Alright. I'm gonna be Clara Boe. Do you gamble in real life, Jordan? Hell no. I 

Gaspare: am, I am so afraid to lose money. I don't, I don't either. It's crazy. 

Lauran: We have um, a racino that opened in our town like You know, 10 years ago or so, and it's just slot machines.

And then they have like horse races in the summer. But I like randomly a couple of weeks ago, I was like, you know what we should do? Let's go to the casino. And we, we went and just took out like 200 bucks and found the dumbest games we could find. And, but they suck you in, man, like, they played this stupid fish game that, they suck you 

Jordan: in, they 

Lauran: did, the fish, just like the fish get fatter in their little fish bowls and then when they break the fish bowl, you win, or whatever, and they kept getting fatter, and I was like, it's gonna break, we have to keep playing, and he's like, this is why you can't come here, like, 

Gaspare: yeah, I think I don't gamble.

I think like the one time I remember I was 18, I was in, uh, St. Martin, the island. And I was with my friend and his family. And we were like walking through a casino. And my friend's dad was like, Oh, gambling's legal. Cause you're 18. He's like, why don't you try? And I was like, you're right. I went to a blackjack table or no roulette table.

And he's like, just pick red or black. Like it's 50 percent chance I put 20 down. I was like, so pumped. It, I was like red, it came out black and I was like, I will never gamble again. I was like, I just lost 20 like that. Like, and he's like, yeah, but if you won, you'd have been a gambling addict. And I'm like, yeah, maybe, but I did not.

Maybe 

Lauran: that was, it was a good thing that you lost. 

Gaspare: I'm only in the 20. 

Lauran: There you go. Could be worse. Okay, so the stage is set. Jordan will play as Clara Bow, the Hollywood superstar known for her wild gambling lifestyle. 

Theme: Oh, yes. 

Lauran: Charm and influence over high society. Hello, hello. And Gaspar will play a small time car dealer, a regular person trying to carve out a life in Nevada's new world of legalized gambling, where fortunes are won and lost in the blink of an eye.

Welcome to Reno 1931! It's March 19th, 1931, the ink is barely dry on Nevada's new legal gambling law, and the state is buzzing. People from all over the country are pouring into Reno and Las Vegas, looking to strike it rich. Jordan, as Clara Bow, you've just arrived in Reno after a Hollywood shoot. Drawn by the thrill of this game, your name alone can bring in high rollers and investors.

But will you be the queen of the casino? 

Jordan: Oh, you know I will. 

Lauran: Or just another player who loses it all. Gasper as the card dealer. I feel like we need to give you a name. So you're the card dealer. What's your card dealer alter ego? 

Gaspare: Jordan. Jordan. Oh, that's a great name. I love it. Okay, let's make things super confusing.

Lauran: Jordan the card dealer. You've just landed a job in one of Reno's first legal casinos. The tables are full, the money is flowing, but so are the gangsters and high stakes gamblers. Can you survive in this cutthroat new industry? With these palm shell looks, you know I will. Okay, so here's your first challenge, the big game.

The casino is packed. It's the first official high roller poker night in Reno since gambling was legalized. Clara Bow is at the VIP table, making headlines with her bold bets, while Gaspers, I'm not, I'm not gonna say Gaspers card dealer, while Jordan the card dealer is dealing the cards and keeping an eye on the players.

But suddenly a problem arises. A notorious mobster from Chicago, Vitor, Vitor, Vito? Vito the Viper Moretti, has just sat at Clara's table. He's a known cheater and enforcer, and if things go south, he's not the kind of man you want to cross. Here's the decision you have to make. Okay, you got to make this together.

Jordan the car dealer and Clara. Okay, Clara. Do you, play it cool, keep your bets reasonable and avoid conflict, go all in, show Vito you're not afraid and raise the stakes, flirt with him, use your charm to distract him and get the upper hand, or secretly signal Jordan to see if your dealer friend can help you spot any cheating, which one of those options would you do?

Jordan: I'm bold. I'm brash. I'm beautiful. I'm calling him out! 

Lauran: So you're gonna You're gonna signal Jordan, the car dealer. 

Jordan: What was the second one? 

Lauran: Go all in. 

Jordan: Yeah, sorry, not calling it out. I'm raising the ante. Okay, you're upping the ante? Upping the ante. Wow, you can tell you don't gamble. I don't 

Lauran: gamble. Okay So you're going to go all in.

And then, uh, Jordan, the card dealer, do you stay neutral? Just deal the cards and avoid trouble? Do you help Clara keep an eye on Vito and subtly warn her? Do you help Vito? Maybe it's safer to be on his side or do you slip in? I'm staying neutral. 

Gaspare: Because at the end of the day, it's not my place. He wants to cheat us on him.

All right. He's like, I just 

Lauran: work here. Yeah. 

Gaspare: Like I'm just a worker. I'm not trying to get tangled up in the mob or whatever. Whatever. Say. Yeah, just like real life. Jordan, I would definitely take that same. Who am I going to be? Oh, I'm going to watch you and then you kill me. I'm not, I'm just gonna, I'll just say my thing.

I don't know. Nothing 

Lauran: like you sound like a true New Yorker. I don't know. Nothing. I didn't 

Gaspare: see nothing. I 

Lauran: saw nothing. All right. So Jordan picked number two. He's going all in. Oh yes. And Gasper's like, I don't know what the heck you're doing, but I'm not a part of this lady. Okay. So, high stakes in Reno, the game begins.

Clara chooses to go all in. You slide a mountain of chips into the center of the table, locking eyes with Vito the Viper Moretti. I want to know if this is a real guy. Or if this is just some made up gangster. 

Gaspare: Probably real. Moretti's common. 

Lauran: Moretti sounds like a real gangster name. Yeah. I mean, that's just Italian, so.

Gaspare: Uh, actually, it doesn't come up. Vito the, Vito the Viper is a Mortal Kombat character. Yo! 

Lauran: Alright, well, good luck with that. Alright, so what's your, what's your line? What are you going to say when you push all the chips in? 

Jordan: Oh, you caught me off guard. Uh, my line is definitely, Look who's cookin What?! I don't know!

You caught me off, you caught me off guard! He's going to be like, what is 

Gaspare: that even mean? 

Lauran: He's like This lady doesn't gamble either. The crowd gasps. No one challenges Vito like that. A smirk creeps across his face and he lazily tosses in his own stack. You got guts, Hollywood, but guts don't win games. The cards are dealt.

The tension is thick. You feel the weight of the moment. If you win, you'll be the talk of Reno. If you lose, you may owe a very dangerous man a favor. Or worse. Dun, dun, duh. I feel like we need, like, some music in the background. Oh, yes. Intense music. Okay, Jordan, the card dealer, he chooses to stay neutral.

You keep a stone cold poker face, dealing the cards cleanly and professionally. You know this is a dangerous game, but the last thing you want is to get involved. Your hands are steady. But you can feel the mobsters watching your every move. Some dealers get caught between the players, they slip the wrong card, and suddenly, they disappear.

Tonight, you're just here to deal the game and keep your job. Whatever happens between Clara and Vito, that's their problem. That's what I'm saying. Right. You're like, I gotta go home to my family. I don't wanna deal with this gangster. Alright, the turn of the cards. The game plays out in slow motion. Gets a full house, queens over eights, a near perfect hand.

Look at 

Jordan: that. That's all 

Lauran: she says. Look at that. That's all she says. Look 

Gaspare: at that. I know you have no idea what that means. That's a really good hand. Awesome. 

Lauran: Clara, she's not impressed though because she's like, I do this all the time. I'm a high roller. Yeah. Vito's smirk disappears. His cards? A straight high.

But not not, wait, a straight. Hi, but not enough. The crowd erupts as Clara pulls in the massive She just beat a notorious mobster in a high stakes game and he does not look happy. I don't know, somehow I feel like this is still gonna come back on Jordan the card dealer. 

Gaspare: Yeah, because they're gonna blame me or something.

He's the normal guy. Yeah. 

Lauran: Clara says, Well, well, well, looks like luck's on my side. As she stacks her winnings, Vito leans back, cracking his knuckles. His voice is smooth, but dripping with menace. Luck's funny like that, huh? But in my world, no one wins forever.

I love this. What do we have here? Is this, this is our picture of Vito? 

Gaspare: That's how I pictured him. 

Lauran: Yeah, he does look like that his name would be Vito the Viper. He looks like a snake. Alright. He stands, straightens his tie, and walks out of the casino. But the way his men glance back at Clara before following tells you this isn't over.

Is Clara How's Clara feeling right now? 

Jordan: Cocky. I have no idea this is going on. I just won a million dollars. I'm on top of the world. I'm gonna go drink. 

Lauran: Okay. Alright, a new problem happens. 

Gaspare: Vito doesn't You've clearly never been tailed by the mafia. Yeah. No. No. Which 

Lauran: is funny because we live in Youngstown, which is known for having some ties to mafia.

Very 

Gaspare: deep tie. I guess if you're not interacting with those people, they're not bothering you. 

Lauran: Yeah. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Let's go shake 

Gaspare: down the local school teacher. She's going to have a lot of books. 

Lauran: Oh yeah. I don't have any money for you. Uh, veto doesn't take losses lightly. He's either gonna try to win his money back, or make sure Clara pays for embarrassing him.

So, Clara, what do you do? Do you cash out and leave, take the money and disappear before trouble starts? Do you celebrate and drink, which I think you already said? You know it! Do you offer Vito a rematch, or do you bribe Jordan the card dealer to be on your side? 

Jordan: I'm thinking. You know, Claire, 

Lauran: she's really, 

Jordan: Clara, sorry, Clara is real excited.

Theme: Yeah. 

Jordan: She's oblivious to the, the mafia tailing her. She's on top of the world. She wants a drink. We're going to get a cocktail and celebrate. 

Lauran: Alright, and then, Jordan the card dealer, how do you react? Do you stay out of it still? This is between Clara and Vito. Do you warn Clara and let her know she's just made an enemy?

Do you tip off the casino boss? If the house knows Vito's got a grudge, maybe they'll intervene. Or do you follow Vito's men and find out what they're planning? 

Gaspare: Well, definitely not the last one, because that's when you die. Uh, I'd probably go and let the casino know. Like, y'all listen, like, she was giving you a heads up, they're gonna kill each other.

Because I'd feel guilty if she died. 

Lauran: Okay, so at least you're like, alright, I'll stay out of it. I don't want to die. I'll stay out 

Gaspare: of it, but like, not when I know like a real crime is about to happen, you know? 

Lauran: Right. Like, how am I going to live with myself after I go home from work knowing I just watched a Hollywood actress take her last breath?

Alright, the fallout, trouble brewing in Reno. 

Jordan: Oh no. 

Lauran: Clara chooses to celebrate and drink. You flash your winning smile and stack up your chips and signal for a bottle of champagne. What's the point of winning if you don't enjoy it? How much of a bottle 

Jordan: of champagne are we talking here? 

Lauran: Um, see aren't, aren't like fancy bottles of champagne like real expensive?

They can 

Gaspare: be very expensive. Yeah, it's like, isn't Moet champagne or is that not? Or Cristal or something like that. I've heard of Cristal. The only way 

Lauran: I've heard of it is from Austin Powers when Dr. Evil is like, Cristal, my moto. 

Gaspare: Well like, I know like Cristal is like the rapper drink. Yeah. They all like water bottles of Cristal.

I think it's like. 1500 a bottle. 

Lauran: Dang. 

Gaspare: That is 

Jordan: what Clara is 

Gaspare: ordering. Here's 

Lauran: the thing though. Champagne isn't even that good. Like, I could spend my money on way better. 

Gaspare: Yeah, I mean like, I'm not really a drinker. Neither am I. Like, and I had to pay 1, 500 for, I would be pissed because I'd be like, like I bought liquid IV a few days ago and it was like 2 a pouch.

And I was like, Whoa, I just spent 2 to put this in my water. Yeah. Nah. 

Lauran: I'm also not much of a drinker. So that's, that's me. I like, I don't care how fancy it makes me look. I'm not spending 1, 500 on a bottle of champagne that tastes like 

Gaspare: dirt. If you go to like a club in manhattan, never mind You haven't been to a club in probably 15 years if not more but like if I go to a club, which I don't Um one time I did with my friends and we sat in like the vip Area and I was like, oh, I don't really want to be in here but like they were like you have to spend 10 grand to be in here and i'm like What and I was with like 10 people and my friends are like, Oh, that's not that much.

It's not that crazy. And I'm like, what? And they were like, a bottle of vodka in the VIP was like two grand. And we were like, maybe like 10, 15 people. So they were like, yeah, it's not that much. Like, cause I guess 

Lauran: I 

Gaspare: once 

Jordan: accidentally ordered a 100 drink before and felt so stupid. What was it? It was a Johnny Walker blue label.

Gaspare: Oh yeah. One time I went to a pizza. It wasn't a pizza area. I went to a restaurant and we ordered some pizza. It was, there was no price on the menu, which, you know, that's like the first red flag that's going to be super expensive. So we're sitting there, we ordered two pizzas, uh, the chef comes out. So my friend leans over and he's like, dude, he's like, if the chef, the head chef is coming out to be like, we hope you're enjoying it.

This is about to be some expensive pizza. The pizzas were 110 each. 

Lauran: What were they made out of? 

Gaspare: There was truffle shavings on it. Some BS. Not even whole truffles, just the shavings. That's another 

Lauran: one of those things that I think is highly overrated. Truffle anything truffles literally tastes like earth. I don't like it.

I do. Like, 

Jordan: yeah, 

Lauran: no truffle fries. No, gross. 

Jordan: No, no. I do love truffle 

Gaspare: fries. Like 80. Like, how does that work? No, no. They use like imitation truffle. 

Lauran: Exactly. And it's like, that's the number one thing. Like, When I go into a place and, like you said, they don't have the price on something, I know if I have to ask them how much it costs, I can't afford it.

I'm just not going to embarrass myself by asking. 

Gaspare: Yeah, but like, I just remember, like, the guy came out and I'm like, how much of this pizza is going to be? Like, this is wild. It's pizza. Like, and it wasn't the best pizza I've ever had in my be amazing pizza. the worst thing. Yeah, it was okay. It was just pizza.

That's even worse. Yeah. 

Lauran: Ugh. 

Gaspare: All right. Sorry. Let's, let's see if Jordan dies. Come on. 

Lauran: The casinos VIP lounge erupts into cheers and music. People swarm around you, raising glasses, laughing and placing you at the center of the night's biggest story. The news spreads fast. Hollywood's wildest star just humiliated one of the most dangerous men in gambling.

Oh, you're screwed. 

Jordan: Oh, no. But 

Lauran: behind the music and laughter, you can't shake the feeling that you've just stepped into something bigger than you realize. Jordan, the car dealer, chose to tip off the casino boss. You quickly step away from the table heading toward the casino's back office. The casino boss, a man only known as Big Eddie, is puffing on a cigar, watching the night unfold from behind one way glass.

That's not creepy at all. Eddie, you say, keeping your voice low, we got a situation. All right, I gotta hear you. I gotta hear your best Jordan the card dealer tipping off your boss. 

Gaspare: So, Listen, we got a situation here. See that guy over there, he's going to kill that girl. I just have a feeling she just beat him.

I'm just looking out for her. I feel bad because she's like famous and stuff. Even if she wasn't famous, I would have told you, but you know, I don't want this coming back to you, big Eddie. 

Lauran: Oh, he, see, he knows how to spin it too. Yeah, 

Gaspare: he does. Put it on Eddie. I'm 

Lauran: doing it. I'm doing it for Eddie. 

Gaspare: Cause then when Eddie has to go make the, uh, the call on something, then he's like, Oh dude, I can't have you killing somebody at my club.

It's going to bring bad press to me. So that's that. And then the, the, the Mortal Kombat guy is going to be like, all right. I could do you a solid, I won't kill her. I get it. I know how the world works. Yeah. Yeah. 

Lauran: Yeah. He knows how to play it smart. Alright, so you explain what just happened to Clara and, uh, that she's in danger.

And Eddie takes a long pause before finally saying, Alright, you did good telling me, I'll handle it. He motions to two of his biggest enforcers. 

Jordan: You just made me have to work for the weekend. 

Gaspare: Dammit. Yeah, I feel and now I feel bad. I should just pretend that I didn't see anything too late. We're too deep.

Yeah. But you know, like, this is like one of those situations, like where you hear a kid say something to another kid and you're like, I don't know what kind of kids you teach. They're probably really good. Or better than 

Lauran: their kids, kids, your kids. 

Gaspare: Yeah. Like, you know, but like every year a kid and they're like, we're going to, you know, do something and you're like, it's not that serious.

And you're like, I don't really think they're going to do that. And then you're just like, if I hear it and have to like, I'm going to sound like a horrible teacher right now. Are you saying you 

Lauran: hear a kid threatening another kid? And you're like, yeah, it's not that serious. Is that what you're saying right now?

Gaspare: No, like, I mean, that's how it came out. You're right. I'm going to just, I'm going to plead the fifth. Actually. No, I'm teasing you. I'm totally teasing you. No, I get 

Lauran: it. 

Gaspare: Some things, not everything's like reportable. Whereas in like, then if you like make it a thing, it becomes a thing, but you're like, Oh, he didn't really, that wasn't like really a thing.

You get what I'm saying? 

Lauran: Yeah. Like not everything needs to go to the principal's office. Like I could just pull a kid aside and be like, Hey, like you can't talk like that. Don't don't do what you think you're about to do. Like, just don't do that stuff. That's what 

Gaspare: I'm saying. Like if they're going to jump, you have to squat.

I'm like, you're not, you're not jumping them. And then I talked to them. 

Lauran: Like if I did, I would probably pull them aside and be like, Hey, uh, about this. 

Gaspare: Yeah. You know, who's really going to do it and who's not, you know? 

Lauran: Right. Okay, um, Alright, well 

Gaspare: this is my last day as a teacher. Thanks for coming. 

Lauran: No, okay.

He motions to two of his biggest enforcers, who nod and step out toward the casino floor. The next crisis, Vito's response. 

Jordan: Oh boy. 

Lauran: Here it comes, Clara. You're toast. Just as Clara is mid toast, the crowd suddenly parts. 

Jordan: Look how great I am. Everyone applaud me. 

Lauran: Vito Moretti is back. He walks straight up to Clara's table, his face unreadable.

His men flank him. The casino's bouncers watch closely, but they haven't stepped in yet. Oh, what if they're on his side? Oh, then you're both toast. 

Gaspare: I'm dead. I shouldn't have spied. This is why you can't speak, honestly. See something, say nothing. See, you try 

Lauran: to do something good, and you just end up getting screwed over.

He walks straight up to Clara's table, his face unreadable. His men flank him. The casino's bouncers watch closely, but they haven't stepped in yet. He slowly picks up Clara's champagne glass, swirls the drink, then downs it in one gulp before setting the glass back down. I was drinking 

Jordan: that. 

Lauran: What the heck?

You got guts, lady, I'll give you that. See, I feel like, I feel like Gasper should have been the gangster. You have a better, you 

Gaspare: got a better gangster voice. No, no, that was good, I was intimidated. Okay, okay, good. Shaking in my boots. You sure got those guts, don't you, Betty? 

Lauran: He leans in and says, You and me, one last game.

No limits, no backin out. The casino hushes. This isn't just a poker game anymore. This is about pride, power, and possibly something much worse. Big Eddie's men are watching, ready to intervene if needed. But right now, this is Clara's call. Jordan. 

Theme: Okay. 

Lauran: I mean, Clara. Yes. Do you accept the game? Win or lose, you're not backing down.

Refuse and walk away. You already won, no need to risk it. Try to charm your way out. Talk your way into a truce. Or, accusive of being a sore loser, go all in on embarrassing him. 

Jordan: Oh, I've come this far. Oh, God. Oh, I'm making fun of him. 

Lauran: Oh, what color casket do you want? A green one. Oh, okay. A green. Alright. Uh, okay.

Jordan the card dealer, do you sit at the table as the dealer? Do you tip off Big Eddie's men? This could get ugly. Do you secretly rig the deck for Clara or for Vito? Or do you sneak out of the casino? You've seen enough and you want no part of this. 

Gaspare: If I help one win over the other, I die. If I leave 

Lauran: depends on who you help, 

Gaspare: but you help one over the other, you might not die.

I leave then like I also lose my job. So like, I was going to play the game as is let let's let them play it out. And at this point I've tried all I can to help her. She dies. She dies. 

Lauran: No, I mean, hey, no blood on your hands. 

Gaspare: Let's see. I'm not helping anything here. Yeah, cause like then I help. She's 

Lauran: egging him on.

Gaspare: Yeah. Like, that's the thing. Like I gave you the outlet. I told you, you could be, you could end at this. You could have just walked away, but instead you're like, nah, I want to still play. So I was like, all right, well now you know what? You knew they're onto you. You wanted to play. This is good luck. 

Lauran: That's how it's going to go.

Clara chooses to accuse Vito of being a sore loser. As the tension in the room thickens, Clara leans back, smirking at Vito. She slowly sips the last of her champagne before setting the glass down with a clink. I thought he just downed it. Or did she get another glass? 

Jordan: She got another glass. 

Lauran: Okay. Yeah.

Alright, uh, let me hear how you're gonna challenge him. 

Jordan: I'm gonna go, Vito, you ain't no viper. You a garden snake. 

Lauran: Vito, you ain't no viper. What was 

Gaspare: that? You're a garden snake. Nah, you're dead. I don't flip that for him. I'm actually rigging the deck for him. 

Lauran: He's like, well, you've dug your own grave at this point.

Gasps ripple through the crowd. Vito's jaw tightens. But he stays silent. And then you say, But here you are, crawling back to my table like a desperate man. What's wrong? Can't handle being beaten by a woman?

Do you want red roses or white? 

Jordan: Definitely white. 

Lauran: Okay. Yeah. The crowd erupts, some laughing, others going deathly silent. Vito's men shift uncomfortably, but the mobster simply tilts his head, studying Clara. Why am I picturing The, like, the Viper as Mr. X in Resident Evil, like, just the big guy in a suit just standing there.

That's what I'm picturing. I'm not picturing our AI generated Vito. For a moment, the entire casino seems frozen in time. Then Vito laughs, a slow chuckle. You got nerve, Hollywood.

I gotta hear you say this line. Oh, no. 

Jordan: You're 

Lauran: damn right I do! Clara fires back. Vito taps his fingers on the table, then pushes back from his chair. I'll tell you what, sweetheart. You got this one, but one day, you and I are gonna have a rematch. He stands, straightens his jacket, and turns to leave. His men follow, but not before one of them leans in toward Clara and mutters, You don't know how lucky you just got.

And just like that, Vito Moretti is gone. Dang, you almost died! You almost got got by Vito. You, like, that's what I love about this, this game though is that no matter what Historical historical event. It is. You always like push the envelope as far as you possibly can until it's just walked 

Gaspare: away from all that kind of mobster.

Are you? He didn't even play the game like right challenged her. And then he's like, yeah, now forget it. Like, why wouldn't you then go through with the game then lose again? You kill her, you win again, you get your pride back. So like, I'm just confused as to his course of actions. 

Lauran: Maybe he's just not trying to catch another charge.

Maybe that's it. Yeah, but see if you're the boss like you don't get your hands dirty. 

Gaspare: Yeah, but yeah, I guess 

Lauran: I don't know. That's just what I've seen in mobster movies before it's like they call the orders But like you're not the one that does the thing 

Gaspare: No, you're not but you know, you wouldn't get shown up by some random Hollywood girl think about that's like You know big mobster being shown up by Jennifer Aniston.

He'd be like Who the hell are you? You know what I mean? 

Lauran: See, I feel like that last line of him going like I'll get you in a rematch one day that seemed like flirty almost 

Jordan: or 

Lauran: like maybe he likes her. 

Jordan: It was foreshadowing 

Lauran: for what? 

Jordan: She's gonna go to her car and her car's just gonna It's over. 

Gaspare: Yeah 

Lauran: All right now 

Gaspare: tomorrow's day in history The death of Clara.

Actress Clara 

Lauran: Boe. Clara Boe dies at 28 or whatever. Okay, uh, Jordan the card dealer chooses to sit at the table. As Clara takes control of the situation, you stay at the table ready to deal if things escalate. But now, as Vito walks away, you exhale a breath you didn't realize you were holding. You just witnessed history.

A Hollywood star just stood up to a mobster and walked away untouched. That doesn't happen. You glance over at Big Eddie's enforcers. They were ready to step in. But now they relax. Eddie himself watches from his office, giving you a small approving nod. You made the right call. Good job, Jordan, the car dealer.

Oh my gosh. There's no way that would have played out like that in real life. 

Gaspare: The club is then met with a hail of bullets. Everyone inside has died. 

Lauran: Right! It's like, there's no way. Oh my god. Okay, so how history changed. So, in real history, Nevada legalized gambling as a desperate move to boost the economy during the Great Depression.

The early casino scene was wild and unregulated, run by saloon owners, con artists, and soon organized crime. 

Jordan: The most trustworthy of people. 

Lauran: Yeah. By the 1940s, mobsters like Bugsy Siegel began pouring money into Las Vegas, creating a massive casino empire controlled by crime syndicates. In our timeline, instead of the mob having full control, Clara Bow's Hollywood influence shifts the casino industry towards celebrity driven gambling.

The first major power struggle happens in Reno, not Vegas. With Clara publicly humiliating a mobster at the gambling table and casinos start catering to high profile celebrities and their reputations, making them less dependent on the mob for success. Actually, Clara standing up to the mob kind of righted the course in history, I guess.

You just had to risk your life. 

Gaspare: But the thing is, like, anyone in, like, react Wait, is there more? I don't want to give No, go ahead, go ahead. Oh no. I was gonna say like in reality though, anyone who did stand up to the mob with the casino buildings was killed. So like Right. That would never happen. , that's the like, like they built all these casinos in Cuba.

Like that's why like during like JFK and stuff, like they wanted Cuba to be back because the mafia was like running all this stuff in and out of Cuba and people were taking boats to Cuba to gamble. So like. You know, I get it, but that's like the scenario playing out like that is like, well, I guess it's like anything else.

I mean, it's just a what if, you know? 

Lauran: Yeah. So no. Uh, and it literally says Hollywood stars frequented the casinos, but they weren't known for challenging mob bosses head on because they would not be known again if that ever did happen. 

Gaspare: Or like when they did get approached by them. They pretty much joined it, like Frank Sinatra and like all those guys that were like, so interconnected with it.

And, you know, people are like, were they in the mob? And it's like, well, like they weren't in it, but like they had the protection from the mob in 

Lauran: their career. Frank Sinatra, the Rat Pack and celebrities flock to mob run casinos, but they, like I said, they never challenged mob bosses and they kind of had their protection.

Well, because they joined 

Gaspare: Well, cause I guess then Frank Sinatra was like performing at the clubs that they were owned by the mobster, you know, and like, then he was like performing like their daughter's weddings and stuff. So like, that's not all coincidence. 

Lauran: Do you have a godfather impression? 

Gaspare: Um, I'm not really an oppression person, but when I was young, I had, that's just 

Lauran: me being stereotypical because you're from New York.

Gaspare: No, no, that's fine. But when I was young, my voice, when I was a little kid, I used to have my wife, but I would be like, I need a little milk and I would have such a voice. They used to call me like the godfather as a baby and always make fun of me. And then I had to go to a doctor because at the end of the night, like.

After like four or five years old, why was I talking? I was like, I need a little more like strained vocal cords. So I went to, yeah, I went to the doctor and the doctor was like, you just talk too much. Like your voice at the end of the night, your voice is gone. And like my voice couldn't recover because I was so little.

And I guess it just, but my kids are the same way. By nighttime, my kids have no voices. Cause all they do is talk all day. 

Lauran: Yeah, that makes, I feel like that was, that was kind of me growing up. I didn't lose my voice, I didn't talk that much, but I, I was a chatter for sure. Um, and then, yeah, so, like, in real life, the organized crime kind of took over the world of gambling and casinos for a while, and Uh, they definitely used a lot of violence and intimidation, um, if someone crossed them the wrong way, uh, and unfortunately, if they did that, they most likely disappeared and were never seen or heard from again.

So, hopefully, a lot of that has gone by the wayside, but, um, yeah, yeah, it definitely has, it's definitely not like that now. Um, but yeah, many casino owners in the past were either mob affiliated or paid protection money, uh, to the crime syndicates, like you, you already mentioned, um, and yeah, the, the funny thing I think about our alternate timeline is how Clara's life so drastically changed because.

In your version of Clara, she becomes a gambling Hollywood icon and, like, rises to fame for her gambling and as being like a high roller who stood up to the mob. 

Jordan: And she did that in real life too? 

Lauran: Nope, in real life. She never became a gambling icon. Her career declined after the 1930s and she faded from public view.

Oh. Yeah. So she just kind of, she should 

Gaspare: have stood up to the mob. Yeah. 

Lauran: Made a name for herself, 

Gaspare: you know, speaking of speaking of protection money. Right. So when my grandfather came here from Italy, they owned a candy store and he refused to pay protection to the mob because like, My grandpa came from Italy and he's like, I didn't leave Italy and leave like the mob and all that stuff over there to come here to then be harassed by like the Brooklyn, New York mafia and all this stuff.

So they owned a candy store, him, my grandma, and they used to come by and smash the windows every day because he wouldn't pay protection money. So my grandfather used to just fight outside. Just be brawling outside like this. And he was a dock worker. So he was like this little Jack, the tie in, dock worker, 

Lauran: and 

Gaspare: he used to just stand outside the store at night and just fight the young teenage goons that were like sent.

So like, it's so funny. Cause like growing up in like Brooklyn, New York, like people were always like, Oh my God, like the mafia, blah, blah, blah. And it's like. My, my dad was a cop, my mom was a teacher, my grandfather fought. I'm like, I am the furthest from any of that. Like I'm the complete opposite of it.

You know what I mean? 

Lauran: Why did I just combine like your grandfather, like standing out on the sidewalk and like fighting these mob goons and like this, the candy man song from Willy Wonka and the chocolate factory. 

Gaspare: I mean, probably very different 

Lauran: candy man. 

Gaspare: He's just in a tank top. Just pounding on some teenagers.

They're smashing the windows and blowing stuff up. 

Lauran: Man, wild time. I know. Oh my gosh. Well, our final scene, the legacy lives on. Clara becomes a casino, a casino mogul, possibly partnering with Big Eddie to open a celebrity backed casino. Jordan, Jordan's card dealer career skyrockets either as a trusted high roller dealer or a casino manager.

So you've got a promotion. Vito Moretti never forgets the loss, but he's forced to respect Clara instead of taking revenge. Um, never have I ever known a mob boss to take the high road. I don't know. And Reno for a while changes or sorry, challenges Vegas as America's gambling capital. Look at 

Jordan: that in this alternate universe.

Lauran: All right. Well, um, I'm glad that no one died in this version of history. Well, not that anyone in the other version died either, but Clara just kind of faded into obscurity in her real life. Whereas now we made her a gambling mogul. 

Gaspare: Yeah. Well, you know what's crazy? Like, do, in today's world, like, think about it, like, do people, like, I'm just trying to think like, do people become moguls of like these franchises?

You know what I mean? Like, like, like Shaquille O'Neal owns like 405 guys restaurants and like, and like all this crazy stuff. Like you would think more celebrities would be more like, you know, like right now, if I had 40 million in the bank, like you should open a casino, like, cause that's like forever money, but they really don't do that.

Which I guess makes sense, but like, you know, like they open other things. But still, it's like, what are 

Lauran: you doing with, yeah, yeah, it's like, what are you doing with that money? Like if, like you said, if you have like, stupid money, and you have nothing to do with it. You know, why not open something 

Gaspare: like the rock, like the rock owns Dwayne Johnson owns like a cologne, a body wash, like, so I guess like, like Kendall Jenner owns like a lip glow or whatever Kylie Jenner, like, I guess they just own a product and then just attach their name to it.

Lauran: Yeah, 

Gaspare: but like, you know what I'm saying? Like you don't ever really hear about like Dwayne Johnson's like, oh yeah, this is cool. And then he's like, I'm going to just buy, well, I don't know. I mean, 

Lauran: I think, I feel like some of them do, but like. Yeah, you don't really it's it's more so like a lot of celebrities will have brands or a product that they create and then sell, but not really like a lot of celebrities will partner with already existing companies or brands and like.

By part of that, I was gonna say, I think the only 

Jordan: one I could think of is Brian Reynolds and Rob from Always Sunny in Philadelphia bought the Wexford team in England, a soccer team. They bought a soccer team? Yeah, they bought a soccer team in England. It was like a really bad soccer club and they actually like started pumping money into it to make it like a more respected club.

Gaspare: Huh. 

Jordan: Yeah. But that's the only one I could think of. 

Gaspare: If you're Jeff Bezos, like if I'm Jeff Bezos right now, I'm buying the New York Jets. Like why not? Like I have billions and billions of dollars. So I'm like, Hey, Johnson family, the Johnson and Johnson owned the Jets. I'd be like, I'll give you 50, you know, billion dollars to take them off your hands.

And it's like, why not? You know who did it? Um, I don't know if you're baseball fans, but Steve Cohen, who was like a financial like wizard worth like 30 billion, something like that. He bought the New York Mets last year and he bought them for like 2 billion. And everyone was like, Oh my God. And he, it was like.

It's nothing to him. Like 2 billion was nothing. And then like, he just, he's a fan, he's a fan of the Mets. So he's like, I don't care if I want a player, I'll throw a billion dollars at the player cause I'm a fan and I want to watch him, you know, on the team because at the end of the day, like, why not spend the money?

You're getting the money back. Like, you're going to lose money. Like. It's just interesting that they don't, but I guess then it's another thing to take care of and another headache, you know, like when Jeff Bezos is going to have the time to run the New York Jets. 

Lauran: I just want to pay off my student loans and my house.

Gaspare: Call Jeff Bezos. Yeah, 

Lauran: I don't have New York Mets money, so. 

Gaspare: But it's like wild when you think about it. 

Lauran: It is, it really is. Well, thank you for playing our, our like funny game with us. Sweet. I think it's so interesting to like mess around with history and see what's going to happen differently. So I appreciate you being here.

Any other like fun projects that you're working on that you want to share? 

Gaspare: I am on tour right now. So if you want to come see stand up, I won't be in Cleveland anytime soon, but I will be in Portland, Oregon, Naples, Florida, Boston, Philadelphia, West Haiti, Hartford, Connecticut, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Plano, Texas, Atlanta, Long Island, Los Angeles, Seattle, Chicago, Staten Island, New York City, all these places.

So you can go on, yeah, you could go on my website, gasparandazzo. com or follow me on Instagram at stand up Randazzo. 

Lauran: Oh yeah, definitely go check them out. Uh, I'm going to have to find some time for us to come to a show. I definitely want to. So I've seen your I've seen some of your standup clips and stuff here and there, but I want to see in person So we'll have to head out to a show i'm very 

Gaspare: mean but not it's not personal, but i'm mean on stage to people 

Lauran: That's okay.

I I like I like the crowd work kind of stuff. It's funny. 

Gaspare: That's all I do for 45 minutes And then I'm like, Oh yeah, let me give you guys some jokes and then I talk for 20 minutes and then the show's over. 

Lauran: Well, thank you so much for being here today and we will be right back. Thanks for having me.

That game, I feel like it didn't get as chaotic as your Voyager did, but it was intense. It 

Jordan: was close. 

Lauran: It was close. It could have ended really badly. 

Jordan: Right there. 

Lauran: Right there. Somehow Clara 

Jordan: wanted. Clara wanted chaos. The mom took the high 

Lauran: road. . The mob, took the high road. That 

Jordan: that says a lot about Clara, though.

Yeah. She's got 

Lauran: that much influence. 

Jordan: She's that chaotic. She 

Lauran: is. But if it wasn't for. Gasper the card dealer. Uh, 

Jordan: not Gasper the card dealer. Jordan the card dealer played by Gasper. 

Lauran: Okay, if it wasn't for Jordan the card dealer played by Gasper, you would have been sleeping with the fishes as mobsters say.

Yes, 

Jordan: all those fishes. In Reno, Nevada. 

Lauran: Whoops. Well, anyway, thank you so much to Gaspar Randazzo for joining us today on the show. If you guys have not checked out his standup or his videos online, I highly recommend it. Like he said, he's going on tour, so you can check out his tour at gasparrandazzo. com.

And I believe all of his socials are stand up rendazzo across all platforms. So make sure you guys check him out. He's hilarious. Um, and let us know what you think of our show. I know we made a few changes and we're doing some different games and stuff. So I want to know what you guys think about them.

Where can they tell us Jordan? 

Jordan: At hello at we are fine pod. com. 

Lauran: Good job. You can email us there or on Instagram and Tik TOK, you can find us. Human content pods. 

Jordan: So you're waiting for me to say it. No. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. 

Lauran: Nope. Well, no, 

Jordan: I'll just look away I'm staring off into the distance sad human content pods 

Lauran: so dramatic Well, anyway, thank you guys so much for listening and for leaving any feedback or comments.

We read them We love you guys And we appreciate all that you you do for us by listening to our show if you want to see the full Full version, um, of the video format, you can either check it out on Spotify now, or at my YouTube channel, hello, nope, that's not my YouTube channel, my YouTube channel, Mrs.

Woolley and Fifth, hello, it's Mrs. Woolley and Fifth, um, I'm just gonna change the name. to that so I can not say it wrong ever again. 

Jordan: That sounds like a smart plan, yeah. 

Lauran: There you go, okay. 

Jordan: All that work to change your handles on everything. Yeah. Just so you can not say that wrong. 

Lauran: Exactly, I can never be wrong again.

Jordan: Until you start messing it up and calling it by the old name and then It's a 

Lauran: solid plan. 

Jordan: Yep. There's no flaws in it. 

Lauran: Not at all, not a single one. Anyway, we're your hosts, Lauren and Jordan Woolley. Sorry. Oh, Jordan's dying, hold on. I guess it's just me, I'm your host, Lauren Woolley. 

Jordan: Executive producer time.

Ah, executive producers are Lauren and Jordan Woolley, Aaron Corny, Rob Goldman, and Shanti Brooke. Oh, look at you go! I stole your thunder. You 

Lauran: did steal my thunder. Our editor is Andrew Sims. 

Jordan: Awww. Our engineer is Jason Bortizzo. And our 

Lauran: music is by Omair Bensby. To learn about our program disclaimer and ethics policy and submission verification and licensing terms go to wearefinepod.

com or reach out to us at hello at wearefinepod. com with any questions or concerns. 

Jordan: We are fine is a human content production. 

Lauran: And remember if you ever go to the casino don't stand up to the mob boss. No! Thanks guys we'll see you in the next one. Bye!

Theme: Hey you! Hey! I love that shirt you're wearing. And you know what would go great with that shirt? What? A nice big virtual hug. And you can get that by hitting some of these buttons down here. Subscribe, like, comment. We'll give you a big ol virtual hug. 

Lauran: Thank you so much for listening and we will see you guys next Wednesday.

Bye! Bye!