Bumblebee’s Legacy: Finding Light in Loss

Jordan: This podcast has content that may be distressing to some listeners. Be sure to check the description below for a content warning. Now, a poem by Lauran Woolley. Actually, 

Lauran: by ChatGPT. Here's a message, kind and true, to share with love from us to you. 

A tale of loss, though tender told, of hearts that break and souls consoled.

If themes of grief or sorrow deep might stir a place where memories sleep, take a moment, breathe, be kind. Your comfort first, your peace and mind. 

Jordan: I never realized how much I wanted to be a parent until that moment of, oh shoot, I'm a dad. It felt like this whirlwind, like the best way I can describe it was we were playing like spin the wheel and we finally landed on like, we got this prize.

And it was given to us and then like right as soon as we turn away I was like uh uh uh I need that back and it was just kind of ripped from our hands and I didn't know how much I wanted it until it was gone already and I felt, I felt so stupid for worrying about so much. Which is a constant theme in my life.

Like I can't get out of my head enough. It was like one of those moments where I just really wish I had gotten to enjoy it.

Hi, everybody. Welcome back to We Are Fine, a podcast. 

Lauran: We're fine. 

Jordan: Are we fine? 

Lauran: We will be. 

Jordan: We'll make it through. It's one way or another. Um, like I always say, if you're not laughing while you're crying, Are you living life? So, 

Lauran: wait, you laugh and you cry at the same time? 

Jordan: Yeah, you never have a good laugh cry?

Lauran: I mean, I feel like I have, I feel like I have. 

Jordan: Okay, you have never been so upset by the absurdity of a like a situation in your life That you have not cried and laughed at the same time? 

Lauran: Probably. I mean, I feel like everybody probably has at some point. I 

Jordan: know I have been in that position and you just, like, you're crying because you're sad, but then you're also laughing because you're like, who does this happen to?

Like, it can't, Just be 

Lauran: me. I'm also like, I'm also a nervous laughter person. So like, I, when I don't know how to interpret a situation, or I don't know how to deal with something, I'm just like,

just this awkward laugh. But like, That's just because I don't know what to say so I just kind of laugh about it. You're feeling the 

Jordan: silence through laughter. I, 

Lauran: I do. I can't, I can't not do the silence. I can't, what? I can't do the silence without making 

Jordan: some kind of noise. You don't, you don't like just The heavy anxiety that an empty silence can just put on your chest.

Lauran: Okay, the only time, I will say as a teacher, the only time I truly enjoy the silence. 

Jordan: See, that's a peaceful silence. 

Lauran: It is. is on my disassociative ride home from school when I just don't turn on any like music or podcast or audio book and I just drive home in the complete total abyss of 

Jordan: silence. How, how often do you do that?

Lauran: Pretty often. Okay, 

Jordan: see my problem was I had, I had to do that for the first time in my life. Like, Last week. 

Lauran: Yeah. 

Jordan: And I have never done that before and when I was driving in complete silence with just the road noise, it just hit me. I was like, Oh, I'm really sad right now. 

Lauran: Don't jump because we'll get into that.

Jordan: Okay. Okay. I 

Lauran: can't start the episode off crying. 

Jordan: Oh, Oh, you're telling that's going to be a tearjerker. 

Lauran: Listen guys, it's going to be, we're going to laugh a little first. But then you better get your tissue box ready because we're gonna cry together and I I'm not even gonna say that I won't cry Cuz it's it's a given.

I absolutely will 

Jordan: way to make it awkward for everybody 

Lauran: I just want to warn them so they know what they're getting into because 

Jordan: Trigger warning at the start. Our haiku, that's what it's for. 

Lauran: This one deserves a double 

Jordan: warning. The dreaded double warning, look out. 

Lauran: The double haiku. The 

Jordan: double haiku. 

Lauran: Last time we chatted, and it was just Jordan and I, we were telling the story of how we got engaged.

Yes. And we got through part one. 

Jordan: We did get through part one. But there's a whole part two. Yeah, so I did not expect it to be a part two er. It's 

Lauran: a part two though. Yeah. 'cause there was so much involved in it. Yeah. I didn't 

Jordan: realize that until like, I started telling the story. I was like, oh wow. There was a lot to this

Lauran: There was, where did we leave off? 

Jordan: So we left off with your parents' divorce. 

Lauran: Oh yeah. Bump 

Jordan: bu 

Lauran: that that was a, you know, interesting time in my life. 

Jordan: What should be the climax and end of most stories was just 

Lauran: the 

beginning. 

So after my parents announced that they were getting divorced in October of 2016,

we obviously put all of our plans on hold. Hold like I had gone with Jordan to pick out my ring like we said, but I wasn't there when he bought the ring so like I just kind of showed him what I liked and then he went and did whatever he wanted, um, which was not whatever he wanted, he just bought what I wanted.

Jordan: I went with my mom, so you know what, I had someone, I had, you had input, I had an adult in the room at that time in my life. You were an adult in the room. No, I was not. Okay, by age, yeah, but by maturity level, no. 

Lauran: I think you did a great job. Thank you. I think it, well, you can't really see it, but 

Song: it's, 

Lauran: it's, I love my ring.

I do. I, it's special to me because I honestly, I wanted to get a black engagement ring and that was 

Jordan: like the trend at the time 

Lauran: no it wasn't even the trend at the time i wanted to i wanted to be kind of pick me and not have a silver ring oh so i i wanted a black engagement ring and then i was like i might hate this in a few years and i'm kind of glad that i i went with my gut because i Um, ended up, we just did the, the sapphires in my actual wedding band, which was like different enough that I, it made me feel kind of special.

Jordan: Thank you, Vera Wang. 

Lauran: Yes, but, um, so you got the ring, and I remember, I'm never one to just like ruin surprises for myself. 

Jordan: Yes, but you're also yeah, you don't ruin surprises for yourself, but you can't just leave things alone either and enjoy the moment 

Lauran: I can't I I but I I realized that about myself. 

Jordan: I'm not saying you don't I'm just saying in that moment Like you couldn't just let the moment come.

I 

Lauran: can't do surprises. Like I just I ruin them for myself Um, and I ruin others surprises because I just want to give them the things. So, I, I kind of knew that Jordan already bought my ring. 

Jordan: Wasn't it Kay's fault too? It was. Which I'm really mad about. It was their fault. Well, hold on, no. Yeah, 

Lauran: let's blame them.

Jordan: Yeah, I was about to say, hold on, it wasn't Kaye's fault, it was your fault. 

Lauran: No? Yes. No? 

Jordan: Yes, it was, because they called me to tell me, because they had to do something special to the ring, I forget what it was, but they had to send it away, and then it came back, they made the call, they're like, hey, your ring's here, and I'm like, cool, um, but the truth about me is, is I'm really bad at answering my phone.

So, so 

Lauran: they left a voicemail. Yeah, and it was a random number on Jordan's phone and like Neither of us like hide our phones from each other. So like I was like, Oh, who's this? And I just clicked on it. The 

Jordan: dynamic of our relationship very much is you check out for those things, because if I don't have you checking out for them, I would never listen to my voicemails.

Yeah, 

Lauran: Jordan drives me nuts with having like 20 missed text messages. He'll just have like the notification there. I'm like, you know, you can read these. I still have to 

Jordan: respond to one of my friends from a text from Monday. 

Lauran: From Monday? It's from 

Jordan: Monday. 

Theme: Friday. 

Jordan: I'm sorry. I am so bad about it. And it's not because I don't want to respond to you or I don't like you.

I just forget. And then I, it'll be like, Oh, I see the notification. And I'm like, I got to come back to this. 

Lauran: You know, I mean, if that's your one downfall, like, I don't think it's that bad. 

Jordan: And then I forget to come back to it because I'm so busy, and then I, it's like the end of the night when I'm just lying in bed finally to be like, okay, I can relax.

I see that notification, because I leave the notifications up as a reminder. 

Lauran: But they don't remind you. But they don't remind 

Jordan: me. 

Lauran: Anywho, so I, I see this notification that Jordan has a voicemail, and so I just clicked on it because I was like, oh, maybe it's like a, you know, telemarketer, I don't know, something.

Jordan: I don't know. Super ex girlfriend. 

Lauran: No. And it literally was like, Hey, Mr. Wooley, your ring is ready. And I was like, I shouldn't have seen this. Yeah. So I, I don't think I told you. I just pretended. You told me after. I told you after the fact, but like, I wasn't going to ruin it for you. Yeah. So I, I kind of knew you had it.

But I didn't know you had it, you know, like I didn't know where it was or like when you were gonna propose or anything like that. So, I, then of course because I knew he had purchased it, was on the lookout for like any reason he would have to make it like a special occasion or any like event we were going to where he could propose to me.

So it, like, makes you, I'm not kidding, like, maybe I'm crazy or other women can attest to this, but it makes you, like, a super sleuth detective for, like, dates and times. I was an international super spy for, like, um, a month and a half, cause you bought it in October, and then my parents announced their divorce, so you couldn't, you were, you were like, well, I'm gonna hold on to this, but, but, It was, I remember you 

Jordan: brought it up to me.

I look back at it, and you know, it should have definitely been the life lesson of when one door closes, another opens. So 

Lauran: When one marriage ends, another begins. 

Jordan: From ash to ass. No! 

Theme: Leave that in, I like that one.

Jordan: From ash to ash, dust to dust, I am now proposing to your daughter because your marriage is rust. 

Lauran: Stop!

Jordan: I'm sorry, that was mean. 

Lauran: No, that made me laugh so hard. Oh my god, from ash to ass. Stop, you're the worst. Okay, okay. Anyway, so. 

Jordan: Oh, you're not going to say any who? 

Lauran: I'm trying to stop saying it so much because I realize now that I do say it a lot. I apologize for saying any who to you guys like 700 times an episode.

Jordan: On the video format, I just want them to superimpose an owl on your head every time and it'll be an unofficial mascot. We'll have 

Lauran: an any who count every time I say it. Um,

Jordan: what you gonna say? 

Lauran: Any who. So I'm on the lookout for like when this is gonna happen and he like made a point to say something to me About when he was going to propose because we had talked about it. It's not like it was like a super secret that he was going to propose to me. We had talked about like our goals and our like wishes for our future and stuff.

Um, so I knew it was going to happen. I just didn't know when. And then I sat down and I pieced together like days that it could not possibly happen. 

Jordan: Charlie Day from Always Sunny with the map in the mail room 

Lauran: with all the pins and the strings and like it couldn't happen here or here it's gonna happen here like it was I was crazy guys I'm like I will admit that but I knew because at the time I was coaching a high school speech and debate team I, so three days out of the week, we're out.

It couldn't be on a Tuesday, a Thursday, or all day on a Saturday, because I coached on those days. And I knew he was not gonna propose to me on a weekday, because Jordan be sleepy, and he, well, no, you are, you are a sleepy person, and you will fall asleep. If you, if your head hits a pillow, you're out. So I knew it wasn't going to be a weekday.

Yeah. So Sundays were the only days he was going to propose to me. The only day. It was, it was. I, and I, I remember having this conversation with you and being like, You're gonna propose to me on a Sunday. 

Song: Yeah, 

Lauran: and I explained it to you and you were like no It was like your eyes real wide because I had figured it out and then we Every year we went Christmas shopping like we chose a day in December to go Christmas shopping and we got all our gifts for our friends and family together and 99 percent of the time, I was the one that would initiate said Christmas shopping day and I would be like, Jordan, pick a day so we can go Christmas shopping.

But not this year, because on this year, Jordan was like, hey, um, do you want to go Christmas 4th? 

Theme: Don't be suspicious. Don't be 

Jordan: suspicious. 

Lauran: Except be super suspicious. 

Jordan: No, I think, I think I did a great job hiding the lead. 

Lauran: Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. 

Jordan: You can't tell me. I still gotcha. 

Lauran: You did. So, so I was like, yeah, let's go Christmas shopping on December 4th.

And, of course, I was Like really sus about you cuz I knew you wouldn't 

Jordan: stop hugging me. 

Lauran: Well, 

Jordan: cuz you were trying to feel for the ring box Like it was the I'm sorry. Like I like your hugs. I love your hugs that day. I 

Song: hated your 

Jordan: hugs 

Lauran: Okay But this is how sneaky and clever he is, okay? So we went, we went shopping at a mall in Cleveland, and then we had reservations at The Melting Pot, which is one of my favorite restaurants.

We go there for like, all of our anniversaries. It's a, it's a special occasion restaurant. We 

Jordan: love fondue. 

Lauran: We love some cheese. Um, so we, we go for special occasions because it's pretty expensive to go. Um, so immediately when he said he had made reservations at The Melting Pot, Red flag. I was like, we don't go there for no reason.

So you're going to do it on this day. So the whole day that we're shopping, he's right. I was giving him hugs left and right, because I just wanted to feel if he had like a lump, like a square shaped lump in his pocket with maybe a ring inside of 

Jordan: it. I know, because It was my, it was that old black peacoat I had too, right?

Yeah. It was 

Lauran: like tight on you, not tight like it didn't fit, but like it was meant to be like tapered. Yeah, it was 

Jordan: tapered. And I just remember like you would just like press like up and you'd be like, is that a ring box? No, no. And you get, what, what I don't understand is you would get so defeated because you realize there's no ring box, but it'd be like five, ten minutes later and you're like, Well I gotta check again.

Lauran: At a different angle, maybe the angle wasn't right. 

Jordan: And this is the thing, because you kept doing it while we were shopping, it was in the car. The ring box was in the car. Where? 

Lauran: Wait, where? 

Jordan: That was my old Fusion, right? 

Lauran: It was not in the car. Yeah it 

Jordan: was, it was in the car while we were shopping. I left it in the car, I'm not stupid.

I thought you in the, 

Lauran: uh, no cause, okay, you told me. It was 

Jordan: in the glove compartment and I locked it. 

Lauran: Oh, you jerk. You told me that you had a secret pocket inside of your coat. Yeah, I 

Jordan: know. 

Lauran: And it was in that pocket. 

Jordan: Well, okay, at the restaurant. 

Lauran: What? 

Jordan: Well, I wasn't going to risk you finding it at the mall, so I locked it in the glove compartment.

Oh, and then when you put it 

Lauran: in the, okay, when we went to the restaurant, then you put it in your pocket. 

Jordan: Yeah. So if I 

Lauran: would have hugged you then, Yeah, but you were so, 

Jordan: I had you so defeated at that point. You were like, it's not here. He 

Lauran: was having fun with it too. He was, he was like, I'm not doing it today.

It's not today. 

Jordan: Cause I could tell that. And I'm like, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I 

Lauran: was like, are you sure? And he's like, yes. I'm like, fine. So then we go to the restaurant and I was like, oh, he's going to propose at dessert. Because that's how people do it, and they bring us, you know, because at the restaurant, like, it's a fondue place, you get chocolate fondue for dessert.

Nothing. Not nothing in the fondue, which, thank you for not put putting the ring in the food. 

Jordan: Didn't you order, like, wine or champagne that day, too, just because you thought it was gonna come in the glass, like, in the movies? I 

Lauran: don't know, I no, I think no, because I I don't know. I can't remember. Did I, did I order champagne?

Jordan: You ordered wine or champagne too, which I'm assuming you did. I'm just assuming you did that because you thought it was going to come out in the glass like that. Maybe. 

Lauran: I could have. I don't know. So we, we eat dessert and then the waiter brings the check. He goes, will that be all for this evening? And I look at Jordan, I was like, is that all for, is it?

And he's like, yep, we're ready to go. And he pays the check, let bounce. And I was like, you, you're ready to leave? Like, are we good? We're good to go. And he's like, Uhhuh, let's leave. And I was like, there's nothing else that we need to do before you le before we go out the door. You 

Jordan: did not want to get outta that booth.

I am like halfway out the restaurant. And you're sitting in that booth still like. What's going on? I thought there was more to this. 

Lauran: So then we, we leave and we're walking out and where the melting pot is in Legacy Village, it's on a second story and there's a balcony overlooking a courtyard. And during, you know, the holiday season, they have this giant tree in the center, all decked out in lights.

It's really pretty. Um, but we walk out of the room or out of the building and he's like, Let's go look at the tree. And I was like, yeah, let's look at the tree. Like, all salty that you hadn't proposed to me that night. And I walk up to the edge of the balcony and there's not a single soul around. No one in the courtyard, not a soul.

So I'm standing there just like, like staring at this tree. You were 

Theme: miffed. Like, 

Lauran: well, yeah, I thought I was getting proposed to. And I'm going to be 

Theme: honest, 

Jordan: so. No, just, just go ahead because I'll, I'll explain my rationale, which was so much worse on my plan. Oh, I know, I know 

Lauran: what your plan was. So I'm standing there and a minute or two goes by and I, like, I didn't realize that Jordan wasn't, like, right next to me looking at the tree also, probably because I was, like, P.

1. 'd. 

Theme: You were not happy. 

Lauran: But I, I hear this, like, from behind me. And I turn around, and he's down on one knee with the ring, and I just looked at him and I was like, of course, like I didn't say anything, I jumped, no wait, but I like, I jumped and like hugged him, and he put the ring on my finger. And I never officially said anything.

Theme: You've never said yes. You never said yes. 

Lauran: I never said yes. It's a running joke. I never, I've never officially said yes. But I mean, I think the ring is a pretty, pretty done deal thing. You know, the vows, the wedding, the 

Jordan: whole, yeah, the six years married. Very expensive wedding that we should have taken my parents advice and just gone to like Hawaii for a week and then sock the rest of the money away.

Lauran: So, so we get engaged and I'm like looking around and I'm like, There's no one here, like, no one to, like, be excited for us. No photos taken. No one to take a picture, like, we had no pictures. So then we are like walking around the courtyard just like looking for anyone to take our picture and we see that there's like a parking, like a valet attendant booth at the edge of the courtyard and so Jordan and I walk up to this parking attendant, this 

Jordan: young kid just doing his job 

Lauran: and we're like can you take our picture and then we'll He was like, yeah, sure.

So we walk and we're standing in front of the giant tree. To be fair, he did not say it that sassy. My man was like, yeah, sure. He was just confused. He was like, yeah, sure. Like, all right. So we're standing in front of the giant tree and I put my hand up, you know, like everyone who just got engaged does and he's like, did that just happen?

And I was like, yeah, you're the first to know. He's like, oh my God, congratulations. And it was just like, It was a hilariously awkward engagement, but like, I wouldn't want it any other way, because it just makes for such a fun story. Oh my 

Jordan: gosh, I know, I just, I wish I would have stuck with my devious plan.

Oh, 

Lauran: you were so, your plan was so mean. Because 

Jordan: you had it all timed out, you figured everything out, so I wanted to mess with you, because I wanted to be like, ha ha, you weren't right in the end. Can't trick the trickster. So, my original plan was because I picked the last reservation of the night to push that timeline, and I know about, it takes us, at the melting pot, we're there for about like an hour, an hour and a half, plus the hour drive home.

Usually like two hours. Yeah, close to two hours sometimes. The hour drive home and everything, so I knew, based off of everything, we would have been getting home at like 12. 01. So that way, I would have been able to say. We got engaged on a Monday to just stick it to you, but I felt so bad leaving that restaurant because you looked so defeated.

I was 

Lauran: so sad, I thought I had it pegged, I was like, I know for a fact it's happening today. And I felt like I was wrong all my intuition was just so off. 

Jordan: I could not, I couldn't, I couldn't leave you like that. I was like, no, it's too much. It's too much for my heart to bear. I am done. 

Lauran: But it was really sweet.

Yeah. And it was, I just, I love it because it's such a fun story now. And I don't know, I just, It just perfectly encapsulates our relationship to a T. 

Jordan: I just, I love the fact that it's just, our only proof of this is just this photo from some random dude in a valet parking spot. This 

Lauran: one person, this one parking attendant at Legacy Village, so, Thanks to you.

I don't even remember your name. I'm so sorry, but you're a real one. Thanks for taking our picture. He's the hero of the story. Oh my gosh. So, anywho, that's No! Anyways, that's part two of the engagement story. Usually when we do an episode where it's just Jordan and I, we You know, we do a little fun story and then we do our like highs and lows for the month.

Um, and last time we shared our highs and lows, our low was that we hoped that we wouldn't get another negative pregnancy test because we are trying to start a family. Yep. Um, so I guess our high for this month and. I'm gonna make everyone real happy. I was gonna say. In a second. 

Jordan: Just rip off the band aid.

Our high 

Lauran: for the month was that we finally found out we were pregnant.

Jordan: So what was the low for the month? 

Lauran: The low for the month was that we Lost it a week later. Before we tell, you know, the, the just timeline of events that took place anyone who is uncomfortable hearing like stories of miscarriage, I know we already have a warning, but if you Here's your additional warning because I know it's hard, um, anyone who's uncomfortable with hearing about miscarriage or pregnancy loss or infertility, anything like that, feel free to skip this next few, maybe 15 20 minutes, and you can skip right to Egbert and be happy with Egbert.

Jordan: Yeah, we're, we went on a high journey, we're coming down to a low journey, and then we'll come back up. And you, you have. Every right and every pass to just skip this part and go back up to the high journey for Egbert. So yeah, just uh, yeah, cause that was, 

Lauran: it's a rough one. It was 

Jordan: definitely the epitome of highs and lows.

Um, it, it was. A lot. And I think, I don't know, I think this is your space to tell the story because I, it definitely affects you a lot more than it affects me. Not that it doesn't, I was gonna say, not that it doesn't affect me, but I wasn't growing anything inside me, so I would beg to differ. 

Lauran: I, I get where you're, what you're saying, like, from a perspective of, you know, I guess I would say it as a, a uterus owning individual.

Yeah. I went to the doctor, uh, it would've been Two weeks ago, um, on a Wednesday, and before I went to the doctor, I, like, I, I had a feeling, I, I don't know, I don't know why I decided to take a, a test, but I had a feeling like something was different, and so I just on a whim decided to take the test, and I saw, like, literally a shadow of a line, not, not clear at all.

The mental gymnastics I was doing to, like, be like, no. No, yes, no, like, I just kept going back and forth in my own head, and I had not told Jordan because, like, I didn't want to tell him, I wanted it to be a surprise the first time I got to tell you, so, it's like, no one ever talks about how, like, if you're someone who doesn't take the test with, like, your partner, In the room with you how lonely that feeling is after you take it and if you find out that you are pregnant because you're just like I want to tell the world but I can't tell anyone but I want to tell everyone like it just is just back and forth in your head so I took the test I get this really tiny faint line and I was like I remember somebody telling me like even if there's a faint line like you're probably pregnant because if you're not pregnant it's Like, there's a slim chance that you're gonna get a false positive.

So, I took the test, I go to my doctor's appointment, which I just so happened to have that day anyway, and I told my doctor that I had just taken this test and thought I was pregnant. So, they're like, yeah, um, we'll take another one and see what happens. So, I took one at the doctor's office, and that comes back negative.

So then, you know, I, I went home and that night I told Jordan, I was like, ah, I took a test, it was negative, I took one at the doctor, you know, they said it's negative, so I'm not pregnant. Well then, like that feeling didn't go away, so then the next day I was like, eh, maybe, I don't know, maybe it's too early still, so let me go ahead and take this digital one.

And, I remember it was picture day at school, so I took the test, I put it back in the wrapper, and I brought it with me to my makeup table, and I got myself ready for school, and then before I left, I pulled it out of the wrapper. And I just remember seeing the word pregnant and it not registering for like a full two minutes.

I was sitting there just staring at it and I was like, this is not real. Like, I don't know if that's just a me thing or if any other people have felt that way when they've Found out that they're pregnant for the first time ever, but it just felt so unreal and I was just immediately so excited to tell you.

So that day at school, I had already purchased, because the day before when I thought I was pregnant, even after the doctor told me I wasn't, I went to the mall after my appointment and I bought little baby like vans and and Here's the thing. I don't know kids shoe sizes because we don't have children yet.

So I was like, I went to the mall and I was like, I need these in the smallest size you have. Like, I didn't know what to ask for. So she was like, like, like a three. I was like, whatever the smallest number size you have is, I'll take that. So she gives me this little tiny box of vans And they were just so flippin adorable.

Jordan: I'm gonna be honest, they look like they're for like a doll. 

Lauran: They do, cause they're so tiny! They're so tiny! They're so small! And I hid them in the trunk of my car and then I went to the grocery store, um, because they were on the way home and I bought plain onesies so I could make a onesie to show you.

And the next day at school, I went to the high school art teacher because she does a cricket class, and I was like, Hey, can you help me make this onesie? And I didn't tell her, like, it was for us. She helped me make it. And I brought it home that day, and I was, like, trying to think on the way home, like, where the heck am I gonna put this?

Like, where is this gonna go in the house that Jordan can be surprised by it? And I set it up down in our studio, like, where we're at now, in our basement. And I was like, how do I, what ruse do I use to get him down here? So I was like, Jordan, can you come get this box? Yeah, 

Jordan: I need help with a box. At first I was 

Theme: like, can't you get the box yourself?

Cause I was in the middle of something too. And I'm just like, all right, I'll put down what I'm doing to help. 

Jordan: When she says box too, I just want to specify, I should grab one just so the people I'm 

Lauran: talking like a box this big. I was about to say, it is It's not heavy. It 

Jordan: can't be more than Like a mailer box.

A foot by like six inch box, and it can't weigh more than Then like a quarter of a pound. Oh, okay, a quarter of a pound. All that's 

Lauran: in it is paper. Yeah, I was gonna say, 

Theme: and I'm just like, you can't grab this little box. Okay, like, I'll come help. I'm just, I'm doing something too. I 

Lauran: had to find a way to get you in the room.

So, so he comes in the, in the basement and I step aside and I had like the test and the shoes and the shirt laid out there and just earlier that weekend we had gone to see one of his favorite bands, The Front Bottoms, and one of the lyrics in their song, songs, 

Jordan: From your favorite song, Twin Size Mattress.

Lauran: Yeah, it's, it goes, um, I want to contribute to the chaos. And so I put that on the onesie. And, um, I, I was so nervous to tell Jordan because I knew, like, at that point, like, we wanted a family, but for, for Jordan, it felt a little different. Like he, he. And I don't want to speak for you. 

Jordan: I mean, we're pretty open with like things with like therapy and stuff like that.

So it was the initial like telling I was always worried about because I was afraid of how I was going to respond just because I know we've talked about this. We've determined as a couple, we want a family, um, just to kind of break down that wall. We decided that we only want one kid, um, that's partially on me because just there's a lot of anxiety with things that have happened in my life.

That I don't want more than one kid and I always was nervous about that because even though like we wanted one kid there's there's just in my mind there's just a lot of anxieties a lot of what ifs so I always knew like I was going to be anxious whenever you told me and not that I wasn't anxious when you told me but I was also it was it was just a whirlwind of emotions of everything from just sheer excitement that this thing we had been working to do had finally made it.

happened and at the same time just like oh my gosh like i have to support another human and i don't want to mess it 

Lauran: up yeah 

Jordan: because one of the things i've struggled a lot with um which i've Only over the past two years have a diagnosis with and everything I've been working on has been OCD and there's very much like I have this tight grip control over my life and I like things done a certain way and I hyper fixate on things and like if one of my big things is like I'm a very very big planner I have to keep my like timelines and everything organized and everything and I really hyper fixate on like Outcomes and everything and making sure everything is like following like a plan meticulously.

That's like one of my main, like things I focus on. And when you introduce a child, sometimes that gets, you're, you're just like, all right, we're along for the ride. So I've been working with, and therapeutic, you know, 

Lauran: it does create an element of chaos because at any given moment, like, you know, you don't know what's going to happen day to day.

Jordan: To which I also, But like to finish the last point, like I've been working with therapy a lot to like ramp me up to be like, this is something I want and I need to work towards it. So we've been working on that. So seeing like a lot of like work it done. And then I wanted to say too, like, I, I love that lyric you pick too, because I know it's not your favorite song in the world, but that song, that song means a lot to me because that band I know, I love that song.

I know it's not your favorite band. You're not a big fan of that like raw punk sound like them in modern baseball and all those guys. Um, but why I love them is it's nice to hear people who are struggling mentally go through things and ask questions that you ask yourself a lot. And one of the themes of that song is just like, you know, just Kind of overcoming expectations and people believing you just are never going to amount to anything.

And I know like over my life, I, I dealt like a lot with, um, self esteem issues and just really negative self images of myself. And, uh, because of therapy, we've worked a lot and I've Not I don't want to say overcome because I still have a lot of work to do in that realm But we've gone so far and 

Lauran: you have 

Jordan: yeah 

Lauran: really made strides though You know just from an outsider's perspective.

I know there's a lot that you know, we all do to ourselves in our own heads but I mean, I'm extremely proud of you for all the, all the work that you've put into yourself and like helping yourself to feel better. Yeah, 

Jordan: but I do want to get back to, um, just, there's a lot more to tell with this. The story and I, I don't want to eat it up.

So, 

Lauran: so I was, I was, I was excited but nervous to tell Jordan. Yeah. Um, because I was afraid. I, I don't know, I wasn't afraid of how he would react, but I was nervous that he wouldn't be as excited as I was. Um, and I mean, if I'm being honest, I feel like you. You were excited, but very hesitant because you just like, all right, this is happening.

Like it was just kind of, uh, it was like a moment of chaos. 

Jordan: It was like a plan in the back of my head, but it was like compartmentalized. And then it was just shifted in the main focus. And I was like, okay, like we everything we've been training for, we have to do now. 

Lauran: So, you know, so over the next few days, we.

We're just kind of like talking about our future, having some really nice conversations about what we wanted for our child, and just talking about things that we were both equally anxious about, and how we were gonna get through them together, and what we were excited for, and dreams that we had for For our baby and we even, you know, like, I almost like feel like I'm stupid because we got so excited so fast and like it's, it's not talked about enough how many, how many miscarriages actually happen and especially early on in pregnancy and it's, it happens so often but like it's not always known because You know, for some women it happens, um, and they don't even realize that they were pregnant.

It just kind of occurs and, you know, it doesn't register, but like, for those few days it was like I saw a complete alternate timeline of my life. It was beautiful and I was excited for it and just like ready for that chapter of my life to start and I just felt like I had waited so long for it to actually happen and I, it was just a great, it was a great five days.

Yeah. So that weekend we went out and we got all the stuff that we wanted to use to tell our families. Um, and we bought like little children's books and stuff and we, you know, got just all the stuff ready to go so we could tell them. Um, and then It was our six year wedding anniversary on October 20th, um, and then the next day was a Monday, so we went back to work, so, um, that Monday, I, I had been, like, having cramps here and there, but I didn't, like, I've never been pregnant before, so I didn't know what was, I just assumed, you know, maybe it was implantation, I, I didn't know any better, so, My, my co teacher Casey, she knew, um, just cause I can't keep my mouth shut and I told her, um, because she's been through this, like she knew we were trying and I mean, she, she has been through, um, you know, her own, her own journey on, um, family planning and so I, I was getting, you know, advice from her and I remember asking her that morning and being like, Hey, um, is this normal?

Like, is it normal for me to have like some cramps? And she's like, yeah, sometimes you have like a little bit of cramping. She's like, yes, that's normal. I was like, okay. And then, um, I, I taught language arts that morning, and then, um, she took over for a little bit, cause I, I was like, oh, I have to go to the bathroom, so I, I went to use the restroom, and I just remember seeing just blood, and immediately panicking, um, and I'm, I'm just like, stranded in our staff bathroom, like, bleeding through my pants, and I, I didn't know what to do.

So, I. You know, put some toilet paper in my pants to like, not bleed through my pants anymore. And then I went, like, I ran back to my classroom and I was like, I was like, Casey, I'm bleeding and I'm like panicking and I'm hyperventilating. And I pulled her in the hallway and I was like, like, I have to go.

And she was like, I'll take care of it. It'll be fine. Just go ahead and go. I remember sitting in the car and I, I probably should not have driven myself home. But, in that moment, you're not thinking about that, you're just, I need to get home now. And, I'm sitting there, and I just remember praying the whole way home that I wasn't having a miscarriage, and I wasn't losing the baby, and I just remember saying, like, no, no, no, no, no, like the whole time, and I got a hold of Jordan.

And without hesitation, he was just like, I'll be home in a minute. I'll be right there. And he grabbed his stuff and he left work and he called me on the way home. And I, I got home before he did. So I'm just sitting there in our bedroom. And that was the silence that he was talking about. It was just silence the whole time.

And it was the most deafening silence. That I have ever experienced in my life and it's just like It's, it's such a incredibly traumatic experience because in one minute you have a baby and you have this new life coming and you have all this excitement and the next it's just ripped away from you. And that afternoon we, we just kind of laid in bed like snuggling and waiting for my doctor to call us back.

And finally we got the call to go into the office and. They did an ultrasound and they did blood work and everything and it was gone. It was, it was lost. And I, I remember getting home from the doctor and collapsing onto the bathroom floor and just sobbing because. I just felt like it's just the, the, it's hard to explain because you don't understand it until you actually go through it because I've known other people that have gone through it and it's, it's sad when it happens to other people.

It's heartbreaking for them when it happens to other people, but when you actually experience it for yourself. It's just a different kind of grief and it just hits you like a bus and For that next six to eight hours of the night I think I just sat in our bed turned off all the lights. I lit a bunch of candles and I just Kind of laid there in the dark the rest of the night and it like I truly feel like I and I still am but I truly feel like I I mourned the death of our child for an entire week and I mean even now when we talk about it, it's still sad, even though it's been a few weeks now, 

Jordan: I think that's just that was like the hardest realization is that One of your friends said it, um, now it's hit this point where, like, I feel mo like, okay most of the time, but something'll happen that'll trigger, like, oh, like, either, like, oh, we were supposed to be at, like, the doc like, Monday, we were supposed to be at, like, the first appointment, and it was just, like, oh, like, I, like, I was supposed to work from home today to go to this appointment and it's like those what ifs 

Lauran: so it's like we like even this week I was like oh I would have been six weeks now like I keep thinking that every time another week passes it's just so hard to think about and then of course because you know we found that out Then all of my social media feeds turn into, you know, pregnancy videos and other women announcing their births or their, um, pregnancies and, you know, I've tried really hard to not, you know, take the joy from anybody else because I, I mean, I wouldn't want to.

I wouldn't want to do that to somebody. It's hard watching those videos, um, or like friends of mine that are announcing that they're having a baby and, you know, you just comment like congratulations, heart, and move on. But like, I mean, it's, It just feels like your whole life is consumed by that. And after, you know, getting through like the hardest few days, um, I decided to kind of make like a memorial video just of the week that we thought we were parents.

And I, I did not expect the just complete waterfall of just kindness And support and love that people, you know, friends of mine, acquaintances, strangers on the internet, like, just everyone was saying and, you know, like, we, we, before we filmed this episode, um, Jordan's cousin actually just sent us a, like a, just a condolence gift and I was like, I did not expect people to react this way.

I'm like, I, I know, I'm like, I, I feel like this is how we should be reacting because this is, you know, we're mourning the death of our child and, and I'm gonna say it like that because that's how it truly feels to us. It feels like we are mourning our, our child, which, You know, I don't care what the science says, of how big it was, or whatever, I don't care.

To me, I lost my child, and it seems like to a lot of other people, they also see it that way, which is Very supportive and I just, I appreciate people recognizing that and even, you know, no matter how far along you were or whatever, it doesn't matter. The grief is still the same and I'm just very grateful.

That we have so many people in our lives that bless us and that are there for us and supportive and I mean, I had friends sending us flowers and, um, friends, my friends at work bought me lunch like the week I came back and it was just, you know, just a stream of just niceness and I, I hate that we had to go through this.

But I think if any positive came from having to experience this, I mean, for one thing, we have an angel baby who will always be watching over us. And I think it just showed us, like, how truly blessed we are with the people in our lives. And I think for Jordan, I think it For you, it unlocked something in you that I don't think you even realized you had.

Jordan: Yeah, it was, um, because that Thursday after everything, I had a therapy appointment. So we, uh, we sat in on it together. I had emailed before the appointment, like the day before, and I was like, hey, um, do you mind if my wife sits on this appointment with me just because we, we have a lot going on. Um, but during that, I kind of like, I told both of you, like, I think one of the hardest things was you're a jerk.

Lauran: That's okay. I'm sorry. . Um, 

Jordan: my whole plan was to sit and let you talk because I knew if I was gonna talk, I was gonna cry. So Well, I just cried through that whole conversation, so it's okay. You're allowed to cry. Trying cry. I was trying to suck in them tears. Um, no, I, it was the realization and I know part of, part of you like.

Experience this in real time, but it was never realized how much I wanted to be a parent until it was kind of, I don't want to say thrust on me because like we were planning this and everything, but like that moment of, oh, shoot, I'm a dad and I just, I, for me, it felt like this whirlwind, like the best way I can describe it was we were playing like spin the wheel, And we finally landed on, like, we got this prize, and it was given to us, and then, like, right as soon as we turned away, I was like, uh, uh, uh, I need that back, and it was just kind of ripped from our hands, and I didn't know how much I wanted it until it was gone already, and I felt, I felt so stupid for worrying about,

I felt so stupid for worrying about so much. Which is a constant theme in my life, like I can't get out of my head enough It was like one of those moments where I just really wish I had gotten to enjoy it Not that I didn't enjoy those couple days, but like 

Lauran: it puts things into perspective It really does it makes you because I I said the same thing.

I was like when I found out I was pregnant I don't know if it's just in my head or like some kind of phenomenon but like At that point, nothing else mattered. Like, not a single thing. Not anything at work, not anything, you know, in our adulting life, not a single thing mattered. Just loving and taking care of that baby.

It just really sucked to have it just gone in an instant. 

Jordan: Yeah. And it was, cause we talked about this. There was the way you and I both reacted to this was, I don't want to say polar opposite, but just like our tendencies as people and who we are as people, like you immediately were in like a morning state, which is how you chose to.

And I, I think in that moment, my brain in my body was just like, I can't do this because if I. Start mourning right now. I'll never get out of it. So my mind instantly went to how it was almost like, how can I stay busy? It's like, all right, well, you're torn up by this. What can I do to help? What can I do to help?

There's got to be something I can do. Just finding different ways to just

remove it. Like any stressor or anything for you so you could have like the space to mourn and everything and then it shifted because man when it, when it 

Lauran: And in that moment though I felt so alone because we, we talked about this too like I, I just felt so alone because I was like why am, why am I so upset by this?

Like why are you Jordan has this way of being very stoic like when something bad happens or something sad happens to me he wants to be like the support system and Wants to just be strong for me and I had to explain to him. I'm like, I don't want you to be strong for me I just want you to feel what you're feeling.

Like I just want you to be sad if you're sad I want you to cry if you want to cry like I I want you to be there with me in that moment. Don't feel like you have to hold me up. We can fall apart together. It was like a couple days later that 

Jordan: I think yeah, it was I came. 

Lauran: Well, I came home because it was like two days later.

I had parent teacher conferences. It 

Jordan: was the day before because we were at Meijer because you had to get something from the grocery store. Oh, 

Lauran: yeah. 

Jordan: It was, cause my, cause also just perfect timing was that week we've been working on the startup and of course like this big competition we had been working on and everything and putting so much of our time and effort into was that exact same week and we had like pieces that we had to finish so my body was literally, um, I took on a brunt of the final work so that way you can just kind of relax and just heal.

So I was filming b roll, I was editing, I was like putting together the final touches on the slide deck, and I was like, I was staying up way later than I normally do, um, and then, 

Lauran: yeah, 

Jordan: and then, like, I also have ulcerative colitis, so, like, I get exhausted real easy so I was, I was pushing, I was still working and it was, it was the, it was the next day but it was like at like 10 o'clock that night and we, we had to make a quick run to our, like, our grocery store that's open that late and we were in the parking lot and it just like, you ask something, something real minute and simple but it was just like the final brick being pulled out that just made everything topple over.

Lauran: Yeah. 

Jordan: And it was at that point where I was just like, I'm just not okay right now.

And, but what you were referring to though, the next one was, um, 

Lauran: I came home. Um, because I had to go through parent teacher conferences also that week, which is, uh, bad timing, just in general. Well, 

Jordan: the day everything happened, you had to give an interview for the pitch competition. Oh my god, yeah, 

Lauran: I had to pull myself together to do this interview for an hour and then go back home and mourn more, it was awful.

But, I come home from conferences and it's like 9 o'clock, and, or 9th or whatever, and, I remember asking Jordan before I left, I was like, can you fold the laundry today? And I walked in the door and the laundry was still there. And I was like, 

Theme: It's still technically there. It is still there. Half of it's done now.

Lauran: I know. But I, I was like, okay, if he didn't fold the laundry, he's, he's doing something else important. So I walk upstairs and he's in his office and I hear the guitar from, you know, the door where I came in the house. And He,

we, we referred to our baby as bumblebee 

and that's why we have our little 

bumblebee on the shelf so they're always with us. Um, but he wrote bumblebee a song and it is the most beautiful song ever. I don't care what anyone else says or thinks. Um, 

Jordan: I think it's an okay song. It was just a way for me to heal.

I, 

Lauran: I love it. And it. Just like we just sat there and cried together and um, it was just, I think we both chose to heal through art and like you wrote a beautiful song and that night I wrote some sad poetry and it just, it just helped to let it out. Yeah, 

Jordan: well, we're both very creative types and I don't, I, I, When i was younger i was in a band and i've been writing music for a long time but i've never had something that just needed let out in a way like that it was just like overwhelming at that point where it felt like i had to create something from this because if i sat with it, it was just gonna eat at me, so, um, 

Lauran: and it still feels like that sometimes like i i you kind of don't know how you're supposed to react because you're like how long do i do i Be sad or, you know, and there's no right or wrong answer.

It's just, you know, some days you're really happy and then some days you're really sad about it. And it's okay. Every, every form of, of feelings of grief are okay to feel. And, um, we decided we wanted to share the song with you guys. Um, so if, you know, You don't mind just indulging us for a few minutes, um, we're gonna play the song for you guys, and then we'll be back from a short break, um, but before we play the song, I just wanna say that If you are going through pregnancy loss, miscarriage, infertility, whatever you want to call it, just having a rough time starting a family, just know that we see you, and we're here for you, and you're not alone in those feelings.

of just grief or disappointment or sadness and just lean on the people closest to you because you don't have to go through it alone. Um, and I, you know, and we'll, we'll pray for you guys and in our way and send you guys good vibes and I just, I hope that You know, for all of you out there that are in the same boat as us, trying to start a family, um, that, you know, if you've gone through a miscarriage, that we'll all have our rainbow babies soon, so.

I hope you enjoy our song, and we'll be back in a few minutes. Little honeybee, I'm looking at you through the leaves, while no one's 

Song: around. Little honeybee, I'm looking at you through the leaves, while no one's around.

You follow me. Searching for you desperately, but not

away for.

It was a dream, but I still hear you.

Oh, honey, honey,

honey, honey.

Where'd you go?

Under sticks and leaves, a certain shade of green, My soul still burns. So I'll sit and wait, hoping for a day, When you return. Honeybee, 

Honeybee, Honeybee, Honeybee. Where'd you go?

Oh, honey, honey, honey. Where'd you go? Mybe.

Jordan: That was a ride. 

Lauran: Oh yeah. . Well, um, first of all, I hope you guys like the song. Yeah. And if you don't, it's okay. But we love it and 

Jordan: it's something just 

Lauran: for us. Yeah. And I apologize for talking so long, but I mean, it was, it was important for us to talk about because it's not talked about enough, and I know that that sounds cliche because a lot of people say that, but like, it truly isn't, I mean, people say that they, you know, have gone through it, but like, until, like, we talk about the details of What it feels like to go through that, you know, it just gonna stay hidden and I I don't want that to happen and I You know, I feel like helps that a lot of women hear it from other other people who have gone through it.

Yeah, so But I was, I was just sharing, um, on the break, I was just sharing with our producers, the one really positive thing that like our therapist told us, um, that kind of has stuck with me is that bumblebee, bumblebee soul will return to us and like souls return to you. So some way, shape or form bumblebee will return to us someday.

Um, and we'll get to see them again and. That's just, that's how I choose to look at it. So, all right, let's go on an egg venture, everyone! Anywho, um, no! I said it again! Well, I 

Theme: I after such a, after such a heavy Front to the episode. Um. 

Lauran: Middle. We started off with laughing. Oh, we did. No, you're right. Yeah. And then we made you cry.

Jordan: We're on a roller coaster. And now we're gonna 

Lauran: laugh again. We 

Jordan: went down the hill. Now we're back up. Now we're going in a loop de loop. Yep. Oh, we're doing the, you know what? No, Egbert is a loop de loop. 

Lauran: Especially this Egbert. Yes. Wait until you hear the title of this. 

Jordan: Okay. So, uh, do you want to explain first to the people who are just joining us?

Also, I'm sorry, if you're a first time listener and this is your first episode, I am sorry. That was, 

Lauran: that 

Jordan: had to have been a lot. Sorry to trauma dump on you. That would've. 

Lauran: Well, you're now in the inner circle. Yeah. Um, okay. So, um, our, uh, Excellent Eggventure is, um, Eggbert is our child and he is an egg that we raise because in health class sometimes, or not even health class, home ec, you get to raise an egg Family and 

Theme: consumer sciences.

Lauran: Yes, family and consumer sciences, you get to raise an egg and see what it would be like to be parents. So we have, um, Chat GPT up here and we're going to use AI to create an egg venture for us. So this one is titled, The Great Egg Venture, The Mysterious Life of Waffles O'Briens. 

Jordan: I love these names. Oh my gosh.

Waffles O'Brien? 

Lauran: Waffle O'Briens. 

Jordan: Waffle O'Briens. 

Lauran: Yes. 

Jordan: Oh boy. I love it. Where is this gonna go? If 

Lauran: we get another dog someday, that's our dog's name. Waffle O'Briens. 

Jordan: I'll bet. 

Lauran: Yeah. 

Jordan: I don't think you understand. No, hold on. 

Lauran: Not 3Dog. 

Jordan: No, no, fine, because my parents are getting a dog and it saved you from 3Dog.

Hold on. No, because the last time this opportunity presented itself, you went back on your word. What was my word? Maze Bagel. 

Lauran: Oh, I did love May's Bagel. 

Jordan: And when we got Duncan, you would not let me name him May's Bagel. 

Lauran: Cause he didn't look like a maze. I 

Jordan: don't care. I wanted that name. So I want right in front of everybody right now.

Okay. You have to promise the next time we get a dog, it is Waffles O'Brien. 

Lauran: Okay, I promise. 

Jordan: Okay. 

Lauran: I promise. Promise? Okay. 

Jordan: Okay. 

Lauran: Okay. 

Jordan: You better hold her to it. 

Lauran: I promise. Okay. Chapter 1. The Arrival of Waffle. One fine morning you stumbled upon a peculiar sight. A bright blue egg perched on a sunflower in your backyard, shimmering like it held secrets of the universe.

Song: Oh no. 

Lauran: After a hasty debate over breakfast, you decide to name the egg Waffle O'Brien's, inspired by your favorite brunch dish. I love 

Jordan: a good O'Brien, don't you? 

Lauran: It's the best. Waffles seem to radiate potential, with a curious air that hinted at mischief. As you pondered how to raise Waffle, you recalled a tale about a magical egg that could either grow into a benevolent giant or a mischievous troublemaker.

You now face your big first decision as Waffle's parents. 1. Enroll Waffle in the local school of Whimzee, where he can learn to harness his magical potential through creativity and laughter. 2. Hide Waffle away in a secret egg bunker to protect him from the world and let him develop his own unique quirks in solitude.

Oh my gosh, 

Theme: I don't, I don't like that. Isn't that like the plot to like Cloverfield Lane is just they hid someone in a bunker? Yeah, put him in a bunker. 

Lauran: It's like Kimmy Schmidt. Yeah. Unbreakable. She alive, dang it. I think we, I feel like we should send him to the bunker. Last time we took the safe route, like the, the creative route.

We let him be whimsical. This time let's, let's bring some chaos into the mix. 

Jordan: We want a bunker egg. 

Lauran: I think we should go with bunker egg. 

Jordan: Okay, we're going to go with bunker egg. I was going to go to the school of whimsy, but apparently we're throwing this. 

Lauran: Get in the bunker. Get in the bunker. Chapter two, the secret egg bunker.

Years passed in your secret bunker where Waffle O'Briens basked in the warmth of your love and eccentric decorations. It apparently 

Jordan: farts too, my gosh. 

Lauran: Glow in the dark stars and shelves lined with vintage rubber duckies. With each passing year, he became an enigma, developing strange habits like speaking in rhymes and collecting odd socks.

Now, at the ripe age of five, Waffle has begun to question the outside world. His eyes glimmer with curiosity, but he remains blissfully unaware of the chaos beyond his cozy confines. It's time for the next decision. Okay, 

Jordan: what do we got here? 

Lauran: One. Introduce Waffle to a mysterious friend, a wise old tortoise named Sir Shellington who can share stories of the outside world and teach him about adventure.

Or two, craft an elaborate escape plan for Waffle to sneak out into the world under the cover of night, allowing him to explore without any parental guidance. I feel like

Jordan: I like, I personally like giving him to Sir Shellington, 

Lauran: I'm just 

Jordan: going, he's a kung fu master. Like Master 

Lauran: Splinter? 

Theme: He's a master splinter. He's a 

Lauran: splinter? 

Theme: Yeah. 

Lauran: Yeah, but I'm saying for the names of turtles. 

Theme: That's what I'm thinking too, it's, oh my gosh, what's the name of the turtle from Kung Fu Panda? Is it cheap?

Lauran: No. 

Theme: I can't remember the name of the turtle. Oh, what 

Lauran: is this? I don't know. Anywhoo, but no . Okay. Whatever. Keep going. 

Jordan: Just own the anywhoo. I am. Um, no, I feel like he needs to go to Sir Shellington number one because that's just the coolest route and I'm just gonna let everyone know. The second reason is because one of my, uh, d and d characters is Donna Sheo, who is a turtle.

All right, so . 

Lauran: So he's going to Sir Shellington chapter three. The wisdom of Sir Shellington. 

Jordan: See, I told you. 

Lauran: Alright. You decided it was time for Waffle to meet Sir Shellington, the wise old tortoise who had seen more of the world than any egg should know. With a flourish of excitement, you introduced them, and the tortoise immediately took to Waffle, sharing tales of whimsical lands filled with talking animals and candy mountains.

I was 

Song: about 

Lauran: to say! You took it out of my He has a vast imagination and a penchant for odd inventions, like a musical toaster that plays polka tunes while it cooks. Didn't our last egg invent some kind of crazy toaster? 

Theme: I'm seeing a theme here with toasters and eggs. 

Lauran: However, Sir Shellington's tales have sparked a desire for adventure in Waffle's heart.

As you watch him dream of the world beyond your bunker, it's time for another big decision. One, let Waffle create his first invention. A contraption to safely explore the backyard. An eggmobile that can roll and bounce over obstacles. Or two, encourage Waffle to organize an expedition. Expedition, with his newfound wisdom, leading a small group of neighborhood kids to explore the mysterious other side of the sunflower patch.

Jordan: Oh my gosh, I want my explorer egg. 

Lauran: See, but I want him to make an egg go cart. Okay, 

Jordan: so, last time we did this, last time we did this. 

Lauran: You did invent something. We 

Jordan: did invent something. Alright, alright, 

Lauran: alright. So, 

Jordan: I'm gonna be honest, plus anyways, He could be like was it Jacques Cousteau? 

Lauran: Okay, 

Jordan: so he could be the next Jacques Cousteau.

Lauran: Okay, chapter four the great Expedition, uh, you know, I think it missed a great opportunity there It should have said expedition But it does not. With excitement bubbling over a waffle gathered a ragtag group of neighborhood kids armed with nothing but wild imaginations and a few snacks Together, they planned the Great Expedition to the other side of the sunflower patch, where the grass was rumored to be greener and the adventures more thrilling.

Jordan: I can tell them they are going to be in for some disappointment. 

Lauran: On the day of the expedition, Waffle donned a makeshift explorer's hat made from an old cereal box and led the charge. As they ventured forth, they stumbled upon a hidden grove filled with peculiar plants that danced and swayed as if alive.

Waffle, now age 10, felt an electric thrill. This was the adventure he dreamed of. However, things took a whimsical turn when one of the plants began to sing in a high pitched voice, calling for help. The kids were captivated, but Waffle knew they had to decide how to respond. I've 

Jordan: seen this movie. It's Audrey too.

Don't trust it. 

Lauran: Little shovel horse. 

Jordan: Yeah, it's gonna come up to him. Feed me. Feed me. Feed me waffles. And then you don't know. Is he saying to feed him food? Or does he want to eat you? 

Lauran: Oh. 

Jordan: See? 

Lauran: Mmm, I see the conundrum there. 

Jordan: Yeah, that's a big, that's a big problem. Does he want the food waffles or the egg waffle?

Lauran: Hopefully not our son, daughter, that egg. I don't know. Is it? Non gendered? I don't know. Egg. It's our egg. It's an egg. I don't know. Alright, number one. Do you attempt to communicate with the singing plant, asking it what it needs and how they can help? Or two, ignore the plant and continue exploring, thinking it's just a trick to distract them from their quest?

Jordan: You gotta talk to the eggplant. I mean Eggplant? The eggplant. 

Lauran: Alright, we're talking So you said ignore Audrey 2, but you're gonna go talk to Audrey 2. 

Jordan: Oh. I can give advice, I just don't always follow my own advice. All 

Lauran: right. Okay, chapter five, the singing plant's plea. Yes. Waffle, inspired by his philosophical teachings, stepped forward to communicate with the singing plant.

What troubles you, dear plant? 

Jordan: Yes. Such a formal little egg. I know. I'm proud of him. Isn't he 

Lauran: like 10? 

Jordan: Whatever age. Yeah, he is 10. 

Lauran: I think he is 10. Wow, that's a very mature speech for a 10 year old egg. He asked his voice full of earnest curiosity. To everyone's surprise, the plant stopped singing and revealed it was trapped under a tangle of enchanted vines 

that had grown too thick.

I need your help to break free, young egg, it pleaded. In return, I can grant you one wish. This is a wish giving plant. It's a wish plant. 

Jordan: A wish ping willow. 

Lauran: Yes, a wish ping willow. The kids buzzed with excitement, each brainstorming wild wishes. Oh, 

Jordan: hold on. Wait, so is it just one wish for the group or a wish per kid?

Lauran: It 

Jordan: says 

Lauran: one wish. 

Jordan: I'm thinking that's a wish for the group. 

Lauran: I think so. Each brainstorming wild wishes ranging 

from endless candy to being able to fly. That's 

Theme: such a waste! Well, they're kids! I know, but come on, kids, like, who, the one that's, the one world 

Jordan: peace? I was gonna go, the one wishing to fly End to world hunger.

it's, you're thinking ahead. Wish for candy? Like, that's gonna go bad by the time you get to it, it's like, no, forget the candy, your teeth are gonna rot Halloween's probably coming 

Lauran: around soon. 

Jordan: No. Alright. Come on, fictional kid, grow up. 

Lauran: But Waffle paused, considering the implications of such power. Now, at age 10, he stands at a crossroads.

He must decide how to proceed. One, help the plant free itself, hoping to build a friendship that could lead to more adventures and possibly a greater understanding of magic. Ah, a humble, humble egg. Or two, wish for something trivial like a lifetime supply of waffles and miss out on the deeper potential of the plant's offer.

Jordan: I just love the idea of an egg. Named waffles. Wishing for a lifetime supply of waffles. 

Lauran: I feel like we want to, we gotta throw this one in the garbage and have him wish for waffles. 

Jordan: I'm all for it. I love the idea of just this 

Lauran: Nah, I want some waffles! I want waffles! I just picture this plant going like, 

I'll help you grant whatever wish you want.

World peace, end to homelessness, no more childhood hunger. Take 

a lifetime supply of waffles, please. Bye! 

Theme: But he's ending childhood hunger, he's gonna give out the waffles 

Jordan: to everybody. Do you know that? I, I'm, no idea. I'm just taking a guess. You're just 

Lauran: egg zooming. 

Jordan: I'm just egg zooming. 

Lauran: Chapter 6, The Waffle Wish.

Jordan: The Waffle Wish. 

Lauran: Waffle with a gleam in his eye and a rumble in his tummy declared, I wish for a lifetime supply of waffles. The other kids cheered, imagining mountains of fluffy syrup drizzled waffles appearing before them. Wow. 

Jordan: You know, that is That is a very like, oh, is that thoughtful though? Why? It's a lifetime supply of waffles, correct?

And they're already covered in syrup. You got an hour max with all those waffles? You got soggy waffles. 

Lauran: Never eat soggy waffles. No. 

Jordan: I don't know why I had such a visceral just reaction in my throat when you said soggy waffles. I was like, lol. 

Lauran: Well, never eat soggy waffles. It's the cardinal directions.

North, south, east, west. 

Jordan: It is! I never No, 

Lauran: north, east, south, west. 

Jordan: I always learned it as news. Oh, 

Lauran: no. Never eat soggy waffles. 

Jordan: Oh. Look at that. Look at you go. He's an explorer too. That works. Look at you. Look at you relating this story to your knowledge. 

Lauran: I knew it. All right. The singing plant, slightly bemused, but compliant, swayed and released a burst of shimmering spores into the air.

Moments later, a massive waffle tree sprouted beside them, its branches heavy with golden streaming waffles, or steaming waffles. 

Theme: Steaming waffles? I'm just gonna be honest, I did like the wordage of, it's amused but compliant, like, how could this go wrong? 

Lauran: The kids were ecstatic, diving into the feast like it was the best treasure they could ever find.

They're gonna be so sticky! As they munched away, however, the 

plant spoke again, enjoy your waffles, but know that every choice has consequences. With that 

cryptic remark, it faded back into the grove, leaving behind a faint glow. 

Jordan: I just, I imagine it's like in a pot, and it just kind of wiggles backwards.

Lauran: Years passed, and Waffle, now 12, found himself becoming a local legend, a young egg known for hosting waffle parties and endless celebrations. Yet the magic of the singing plant lingered as the tree began to attract strange creatures and visitors from all over. 

Theme: Yeah, it's a tree in the middle of the woods that just gives out free waffles.

What do you think's gonna happen? It's like 

Lauran: going to see that like giant basket in Iowa or wherever that is. I don't know what that is. 

Jordan: World's largest ball of 

Lauran: yarn or something. I 

Jordan: also, canonically, his parties are called Waffles Wafflepalooza. 

Lauran: Wafflepalooza! Alright, so now as Waffle contemplates his future, he must make another big decision.

Jordan: Because nothing can get better than a lifetime supply of waffles. 

Lauran: Embrace the chaos, and invite all the strange creatures to a grand Waffle Festival, turning 

the backyard into a hub of wonder and whimsy. Or seek out the plant again, hoping to learn more about its magic, and perhaps uncover deeper secrets that could shape his destiny.

Wafflepalooza. Yeah, Wafflepalooza. 

Jordan: Wafflepalooza. Thank you. I was gonna say, um, should we do the wafflepalooza? Yeah, no, we're not, 

Lauran: this egg is not profound. He just wants a waffle party. Egbert had his own, like, whimsy. Like, he had the, he was like that mushroom, glowy. He 

Theme: was toad 

Lauran: creature. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he was toad.

He was toad. That's right. Okay. Well, let's see what waffles ends up being. Chapter seven, the waffle festival. Waffle, brimming with enthusiasm, decided to throw the grandest waffle festival the neighborhood had ever seen. He transformed the backyard into a carnival of flavors, with waffle stations featuring everything from chocolate chip to blueberry, and even exotic flavors like pickle waffle.

Jordan: Would you try a pickle waffle? Pickle weasel. Would you try a pickle waffle? I'd try 

Lauran: a pickle waffle. 

Jordan: I would too, I 

Theme: was actually, I was like, 

Lauran: that might not be bad. I don't think it'd be good, but like, it'd be interesting. No, I think it'd be fun, 

Jordan: like if you had a real crispy Like a sweet pickle. Yeah, like a sweet, sweet pickle in a real crispy waffle.

Lauran: Mmm. 

Jordan: Don't put syrup on it, just use like the wa the, the pickle juice. 

Lauran: No, I'm thinking syrup. You're thinking syrup. I'm thinking syrup. 

Jordan: Mm hmm. 

Lauran: I don't know. 

Jordan: Danger over here. 

Lauran: Creatures of all kinds arrived. Bouncing bunnies, whimsical fairies, and even a few curious gnomes. Wait, do we live in like 

Jordan: a Snow White movie?

What are 

Lauran: we like? 

Jordan: I like that the only animal was bunnies. 

Lauran: Yeah, and then there's fairies and gnomes. 

Jordan: Fairies and gnomes and bunnies. 

Lauran: All eager to indulge in the waffle delights. The air filled with laughter, music, and the scent of syrup as everyone joined in games and dancing. However, as the festivities reached their peak, the singing plant reappeared, floating above the crowd with a mischievous grin.

You've gathered quite, quite the crowd, Waffle. But remember, Too much of a good thing can lead to unexpected surprises. Oh 

Song: no! 

Lauran: As 

if on cue, the waffle tree began to shimmer and shake, sending 

a flurry of enchanted waffle confetti raining down on the festival. The creatures began to munch on the confetti, 

and suddenly, they were transformed.

Bouncing higher, singing louder, and dancing like never before. In the midst of the joyous chaos, Waffle realized. That this festival was more than just a party, it had become a celebration of an unexpected magic in life. 

Jordan: Wait, hold on, wait, are they becoming waffle fries? 

Lauran: I don't, I don't know. I thought maybe the, I thought maybe the plant was gonna be like, uh, uh, uh, and then turn them all into waffles or something, or like, waffle 

Jordan: zombies.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, 

Lauran: or like, just, I don't know, make them just gluttonous, like you can't stop eating waffles ever, but 

Jordan: You're putting a lesson into the story. I 

Lauran: was trying to give their, to let there be a lesson, but no, the lesson was, you, you have a waffle festival and you get a celebration of magic. I, I mean, I guess that's the lesson here.

Okay, prologue. As the sun set, painting the sky with vibrant colors, Waffle O'Briens watched his newfound friends revel in the joyous energy that filled the air. The singing plant smiled knowingly, satisfied with the choice Waffle had made. Though Waffle had not pursued a traditional destiny, he discovered that embracing whimsy and community brought about a magic all its own.

Okay. Embracing your community of people around Okay, okay, I see you. I see 

you. 

From that day on, the backyard remained a sanctuary of laughter and adventure, a place where the unusual was celebrated, and where the bonds of friendship flourished over waffles, and thus, Waffle O'Briens became the beloved ambassador of fun and creativity in the neighborhood, forever reminding 

everyone that life's greatest joys often come from the quirkiest choices.

Well, that was something. 

Jordan: Oh, hold on, wait a minute. We did this last time with, uh, Egbert. I think you gotta ask chat GPT. 

Lauran: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. To 

Jordan: show us what Waffles O'Brien looks like. 

Lauran: Oh, how did I forget? Alright, let's see. 

Jordan: Alright. 

Lauran: Here is Waffles O'Brien. 

Theme: Oh my gosh, he's so cute. He's even got his little hat.

He's got a little 

Lauran: hat. 

Theme: Oh my gosh, it's like Pixar style. 

Jordan: It is, and look at the waffles. He's got the biggest, bluest eyes, and he's like, Oh my gosh, he's like the perfect golden, like, waffle hue. Oh my gosh. So cute. He's adorable. The 

Lauran: waffles on, I just, I literally just want to, like, pluck the waffles off the picture and eat them.

Those are some plump waffles. I love these plump waffles, they're so cute. A 

Jordan: plump, ripe waffle. 

Lauran: Alright, I'm just, I'm gonna save that picture so we can put it on the video. Oh my gosh. And if you want to see Waffles O'Brien in the flesh, you can Uh, watch it on our YouTube channel, Mrs. William 5th, and you'll be able to see it in the episode.

Jordan: Yeah, and if you want to be inspired by the journey of Waffles and make your own Waffles O'Brien, we would love to see your fan art of him. Yes, I want 

Lauran: to see all the fan art of Waffles O'Brien because that is the greatest Name and story of just a waffle tree sprouting in the woods. 

Jordan: I just, I love, yeah, because there's so many stories of waffle trees sprouting in the woods.

I 

Lauran: mean, it's the best one I've ever heard. I was 

Jordan: gonna say, of course it's the best one you've ever heard. I think it might be the only one. 

Lauran: Definitely. Oh, 

Jordan: no, cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I think they do get us there. 

Lauran: Oh yeah, they did. But wait, 

I don't think they did waffle trees. Butter. Vespa. Stop.

Okay, um, anywho, yes, please send us all of your Waffles O'Brien arts. 

Jordan: Where can they send that to? You can 

Lauran: send that to hello at wearefinepod. com. Oh look, you got it right on the phone. I did, and then when we come back, we are going to talk about our special bond of the week and wrap it up. 

Jordan: I did it like a really soft yay there, so I'm gonna, I was 

Song: like, yay!

Kind of sad 

Jordan: with

Waffles O'Brien's story. I felt bad at the end of Eggbert's story that I was able to deduce. That he was toad. 

Lauran: That was so, I'm not gonna lie, that was like a lightbulb moment, that was so clever. I was like, 

Jordan: oh my gosh. But you did 

Lauran: that just now, on the, when we were on the break. Wait, I did? Yeah, because I was like, I've never heard this story before, and you were like, cloudy with a chance of meatballs.

Jordan: Oh. The waffle tree. See, I'm just surprised by my own genius. 

Lauran: See, but I don't think it would be a waffle tree, though, and cloudy with a chance of meatballs, it would be like a waffle animal. 

Jordan: Oh, I'm so glad you didn't just, like, destroy my Self esteem there. 

Lauran: What? 

Jordan: Because I said I'm just surprised by my own genius and I was totally expecting you.

Oh, I didn't even hear that. That 

Lauran: went right over 

my head. I was 

Jordan: about to say I was totally expecting you to cut me down there. No, 

Lauran: no, that went right over my head. I didn't even hear that part. 

Jordan: Alright, alright. But no, 

Lauran: you totally are a genius. 

Jordan: Okay. You are. 

Lauran: Okay. 

Jordan: So, we have. 

Lauran: We have a special bond this week. A special bond.

From, I just like Dr. Pepper. 

Jordan: Me too! 

Lauran: I love Dr. Pepper. 

Jordan: I'm more of a Pib Extra guy. 

Lauran: Alright, I'll, I'll, whatever. Dr. Pepper's 

Jordan: great, I'm not gonna deny that, I just 

Lauran: Dr. Pepper is superior. 

Jordan: No. 

Lauran: Yes. 

Jordan: I will die on this hill. No. I, 

Lauran: I agree to disagree. 

Jordan: Read the special bond. 

Lauran: Okay, um, I had two teachers and we'll call them Mrs.

Y, my homeroom teacher, and Mrs. K. I had gotten into a fight with a girl in my homeroom for bullying me and threatening my friend after we told someone about it, but nobody did anything because she was popular. And I was suspended for 2 weeks and was told I could not go on the field trip at the end of the year.

Well, it comes to be that time and Mrs. Y doesn't care, but Mrs. K pulled me into the hallway when I was in her class, since I was switched after the fight, and she said, do you think you can behave on the end of the year trip? And of course I said, yes. And she said, okay. Then I'll get you. I'll get you to go, just be good and make good decisions.

She was the sweetest teacher. Aww. Okay, so I relate to this heavily because I was gonna say, 

Jordan: you have quite a few stories of doing this yourself. 

Lauran: I do. Like, it's such a tough, like, challenge being a teacher and like, because kids make mistakes. They're going to. Kids are kids. And it's hard as a teacher because you kind of, like, have to balance between two roles.

Yes, you are a teacher, but you also have to be like a real person. Yeah. You know, so like in the moment when somebody is misbehaving or whatever and they You know, or they have something that they have lost, or they have a consequence for an action of theirs, like, I am, I never want to be the person that is just like, that's it, you don't get to participate in anything, like, you're done, because here's the thing with, with consequences, from this story, what I'm hearing is, this happened, and then like, later on down the road, This field trip happened.

Those two events are not connected. Like, their behavior and consequences need to be, one, they need to be reasonable. They need to match the behavior. And they also need to be timely. Like, if this person is making a poor choice, you know, now, and then the field trip's not, like, for a few weeks, that's not correlated.

Like, those are not, those, they're not related. So. I mean, should they have gotten in a fight? No. The bullying should have been addressed, like, but I don't feel like the field trip should have been taken from them. If they, you know, there's a lot of factors that go into making a decision like that, but I, I'm glad that you had a teacher that was, you know, willing to, like, talk with you and give you the benefit of the doubt and be like, listen, you know you messed up.

Jordan: Yeah. 

Lauran: Are you going to get it together for this trip so we can take you? And gave you like a second chance because sometimes, you know, I love all my teachers out there. I hope, you know, when, when we have to deal with, um, a student making, you know, a bad decision that we keep it in the back of our heads that they are kids and they're going to make bad decisions.

It's our job to teach them and educate them on what the correct decision should have been. And, you know, that's not saying there shouldn't be consequences for actions, but if you just give a consequence and don't, like, address the core issue there, like, don't expect change, like, it's not gonna happen just from them getting a consequence, they have to understand what happened, why it happened, and how to do something differently in the future, um, so I appreciate that that teacher gave you a second chance.

And I'm sure that made you feel seen and heard and that they truly cared about you. So I love that for you. And kudos to your teacher for giving you the benefit and, you know, being there to kind of go to bat for you. You know, cause that's, that's tough, like, there, there are too many students that just get a bad rep, and then they, they go on to the next grade, and then, you know, teachers, we've gotta stop the, the habit of sometimes, you know, telling the teacher that's gonna have that student next year, you know, some of the stuff you dealt with, because it's a new day, it's a new year, like, You don't know how that kid's gonna act in that person's class in the next year.

They could completely change. So, I mean, I, I just, I'm all for clean slates and for second chances. And I appreciate that that teacher did that for you. So, that was awesome. I'm glad that you, you know, and the fact that they moved your, your class to like, you know, get you away from the person that you were having an issue with.

Yeah. Good. Sometimes we just need to be away from those people. 

Song: Yeah. 

Lauran: You know, um, but yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing that story. And if anyone else would like to share a special bond with us, whether that's a relationship that you have with a teacher of yours or whether you're a teacher and you have, you know, a special relationship with another coworker or something awesome that happened between you and a student, like we would love to hear about that.

So if you want to share that. Head to hello at wearefinepod. com, email that to us, and we will share it on the podcast. 

Jordan: Now it's my favorite part of the show, where I see if I can do this in one take. It sounds like it's a running 

Lauran: game now. 

Jordan: I was gonna say, the problem is, it'll seem like I did this in one take for you guys.

Lauran: Because we have awesome editors. Yeah, 

Jordan: it will not be one take. And I will Let's do 

Lauran: I think This is the one. This 

is the one? This is the one. You can do it. Oh my gosh, you 

Jordan: put so much pressure on me now. But no pressure, 

Lauran: man. 

Theme: Like, do whatever you feel like, man. I'll do it, I'll do it, I'll do it. So, we want to know how the show was 

Jordan: and you should tell us about that and tell us how much you either like us, despise us.

What's your favorite egg right now? Is it Eggbert or is it waffles? Who's the better egg? I want to know that personally. Mm-hmm . And you can do that by emailing the show at Hello? At at? I forgot the at. Hold on. Okay. Oh, you're doing so well. I'm so, I was almost there, so hold on. Keep going. No, you got it. It we're still on the same tape.

You can email us at Hello? At We are fine. pod.com. Woo. Did it. 

Lauran: Yeah, that was the take. 

Jordan: That was the take. That was the take. In one take. But there's more they can do. They can chat with us, too. Yes, they can. Where can they chat with us at, Lauren? They 

Lauran: can also head over to Instagram or TikTok and, um, hit us up at humancontentpods.

That's our little podcast family. Hey, family. You can get in touch with us 

Jordan: there, 

Lauran: too. 

Jordan: If you don't have Instagram or TikTok, You can maybe watch the full episodes on YouTube at Mrs. Woolley and 5th. 

Lauran: Or if you just want to see Egbert because, or not Egbert, Waffles! It was 

Jordan: Waffles, how dare you be Smurge Waffles!

I'm so sorry! 

Lauran: Waffles, forgive me. 

Jordan: He was shining and you dimmed his shine. 

Lauran: Invite me to the waffle party, please. But you can check out waffles in our AI generated image of waffles on the full episode as well. But thank you guys so much for listening. We 

Jordan: are 

Lauran: your hosts, 

Jordan: Lauren and Jordan Woolley. And this podcast has its executive producers who are That person right there that's Lauren.

Me! Me, Jordan, Aron Korney, Rob Goldman, and Shahnti Brooks. 

Lauran: Our editor is Aron, no, our editor is Andrew 

Jordan: Sims. It's Andrew Sims. Aaron Sims? No, that person doesn't exist in our universe. Get out of here. I'm sorry Andrew. Our engineer is Jason Portizo. 

Lauran: Our music is by Omer Ben Zvi. 

Jordan: Here comes a long one. To learn about our program and ethics policy and submission verifications and licensing term, go to wearefinepod.

com or reach us at hello at wearefinepod. com with any questions or concerns. 

Lauran: Oh, that was so good. 

Jordan: Was it really? I was just goofing. 

Lauran: I know. New boot goofing? 

Jordan: New boot goofing. 

Lauran: This podcast discusses sensitive and challenging topics, including mental health and personal struggles. If you're in crisis or need someone to talk to, please reach out to the Suicide Hotline at 988 THE SUICIDE HOTLINE.

Suicide and crisis lifeline. You are not alone. 

Jordan: We are fine is a human content production.

Theme: Hey you! Hey! I love that shirt you're wearing. And you know what would go great with that shirt? 

Jordan: What? A nice big virtual hug. And you can get that by hitting some of these buttons down here. Subscribe, like, comment. We'll give you a big ol virtual hug. 

Lauran: Thank you so much for listening and we will see you guys next Wednesday.

Bye! Bye!